Teach Your Children Kindness

It pains me that there are already mean girls in elementary school. I hate that I can't protect my sweet girls from everything. It is tragic that even starting at age 5, girls feel like they are in competition with each other. Instead of being taught that other girls are their allies, girls are being shown that they should feel threatened. Instead of being a friend to everyone no matter what, girls are instead choosing to make their friendships conditional. As in, do what I want all of the time or we can't be friends. Its sad that little girls who shouldn't have anything to worry about spend their time and their tears on people who are only going to get meaner. If someone is already a bully or a mean girl in second grade, imagine having to deal with that person in middle school. I would prefer not to, and I wish my kids didn't have to either.

I constantly tell my girls to choose kindness. Be a friend to everyone. You don't have to like everyone, but you still have to be nice them. Its not being fake to be nice to people that you don't like, its being a good person. Of course I don't like everybody on the planet, but this isn't high school, I'm an adult. I still have to be nice, and if I have to do it, then so do my kids.

There is a shortage of kindness everywhere, I don't want my kids to ever be an example of that. That's why I emphasize the importance of being nice. That's why I don't tolerate them even speaking to each other in a mean tone of voice. Saying what you feel is one thing. Saying hurtful things is another. Once you say something, you can't take it back, so you should make sure you mean it and don't make it mean.

Maybe the problem isn't that little girls are destined to be mean, but that no one is teaching them any different. No one is showing them that their actions have consequences. No one is modeling how you should treat your friends, maybe they aren't very good friends themselves. Children learn by example, so if all they see is negativity, that's how they act. That's how they will treat their peers, and they will end up hurting people who don't deserve it.

I'm choosing to teach my kids to be nice no matter what. I want them to be kind to people, even if that isn't what is given to them in return. I want the world that they grow up to live in to be filled with good people, so I'm doing my best to make sure that my contribution is just that: kind and honest people. They might be imperfect, but they'll never be mean.

Thoughts on Stuff

Remember my last pregnancy, when I blogged about it all the time and took pictures of myself all the time? Yeah, that isn't going to happen again. Clearly. Cause I'm 30 weeks, most of the pictures I've taken are selfies with my iPhone, and I don't have time to blog. Not that I'm not excited at all for this baby, cause I am. And its not that I'm not looking forward to having him or that I'm having a horrible pregnancy or something. That's not the case either. I'm just busy, and life keeps happening, and I have already been pregnant 3 times before, which I blogged about or photographed or what not.

This is when I was like 33ish? weeks pregnant with Witten. I look the same this time, but I'm only 30 weeks right now. Probably the biggest difference is that now I have a grass yard with trees instead of a dirt driveway. But me? The same basic thing.

See? Same chicken legs, same pants I've had since I was pregnant with Ava, same exact shoes I'm wearing in the previous picture. As for any pregnancy updates, I honestly feel the same exact way I did with Witten. I think I have less heartburn, but I've got awhile to go. I have low platelets again, which I've had before. My doctor will induce me at 38-39 weeks again if they're still low later on, which I'm assuming they will be, based on every other pregnancy I've ever had. Typically for me once they're low, they aren't going back up. I'm not concerned. I really am not the type of pregnant woman who will complain about being pregnant. I think its petty. I'm lucky to be able to have this guy (or baby dog as Witten still insists and he never admits if he's wrong) and you will not hear me ever complain about being pregnant. Of course I'm hot, but every person in AZ is hot right now, its hot outside.

The rest of our life is still going steady as usual. My Ava got the Ben's Bells award for kindness at school. So my girls are officially nice to everyone all the time, except for each other.

The girls spent all of Labor Day bugging me to play in the sprinkler, and I let them once the sun went behind the trees.

Witten continues to be a crazy boy, who never backs down from something he wants and if you want to distract him you better create a pretty big diversion.

Like tickling him.

Or letting him jump on his bed.

 Or letting him play with your makeup.

Or boring him till he falls asleep.

I probably have less than 10 weeks left of being pregnant. I've never been the kind of pregnant woman who is in a hurry to be done with being pregnant. Keep the kid in there, I don't mind. They're way less maintenance that way. Also, I have central air with this pregnancy so I don't care if its hot outside, its 72 in my house and I barely have to leave it. I distinctly remember feeling a sense of nostalgia when I was pregnant with Witten, stupidly believing that was my last pregnancy. I blogged about it here, here, here, here, and probably a bunch of other times because I had way more spare time back then. This time: I don't really feel that way. Maybe I'm too busy to be alone with my thoughts, or maybe it will hit me around 36 weeks, but this time I don't feel sad that I will never be pregnant again. I especially didn't feel sad about it when I had to do a glucose test a couple of weeks ago and drink that disgusting sugar water. No love lost there. I may change my mind, cause I'm pregnant and I'm prone to that, but for now, I'm good.

We're all good.

The Space-Time Paradox of Parenthood

Tomorrow is Alana's last day of first grade. I don't know how this has happened. She just started yesterday. Today she got, among other things, a perfect attendance award and the Ben's Bell award for kindness. I knew the perfect attendance award was coming, because clearly I'm the one who brushed her hair and drove her to school every single day this year. But the other one was a surprise, and as I listened to the teacher stand up and say nice things about my lady I got a little happy and sad and averted my eyes to avoid public tears. I blame my hormones.

The crazy thing about Alana being so big and grown up, and I'm not alone on this one, is that I'm fairly sure she just started kindergarten. Scratch that, she was just born yesterday. She should still be an infant. And the sad fact about that is, I can't even remember what it was like when she was a baby. That is the cruel reality of parenthood. Its fast, and its slow. You want to remember every little thing, but you will forget most of the things. I want to remember how it felt when Alana slept on my chest, but all I can clearly recall is the funny things that she writes on her homework everyday and her incessant games of "school" where she bosses Ava around and calls everyone "classmates". Screw you time.

Also, I'm angry at time for this.

My Ava graduated preschool last week. In two months she will start kindergarten. I will probably cry. Because of hormones....

I'm genuinely confused as to how she is old enough to be in kindergarten. I curse her August birthday that means she is old enough to start school by two weeks. If I had her in September instead I would get to keep her here with me for another year. Its not really fair. Next year when school starts I will have a kindergartener AND a second grader. They are old, so am I. Life is not fair.

I don't like beginnings, and I don't like endings. I'm more of a somewhere in the middle kind of person. I hate when school ends, because the year flew by. And then I hate when the next year begins, because they are closer to being grown ups and I know eventually that year will end and I will be sad again. Its weird to be sad that the school year is over, and until I had kids I never felt this way. I get attached to their teachers, because they take such good care of my kids, and then I get sad because they have to say goodbye and move on to new teachers who I will also get attached to. Its all confusing to me, I don't even get it.

The most confusing part of parenthood is how it seems to both take forever and fly by. One bad day with fighting kids and crying and too much whining can seem like an eternity, but then you wake up and a year has gone by. Yesterday I woke up with Alana, made her breakfast and a lunch, brushed her hair and sent her to her first day of first grade. Tomorrow I will send her to her last. And probably cry, because its the end. I don't even know anymore. And then when I wake up the next day, I will brush the hair of both of my girls, feed them breakfast and pack their lunches, and send them to kindergarten and second grade. Then I will cry, let's blame hormones for that one. And motherhood, because it has made me into a giant crybaby who doesn't understand the passing of time.

Ballerina Girl

In my blogging laziness I've been falling behind in recording our day-to-day stuff, and one thing I want to record is my little ballerina girl. Alana took a week-long ballet/jazz class a couple of weeks ago, and while she isn't quite ready to star in her own personal version of the Nutcracker, she was so cute dancing around.

She learned to skip which I'm not really thrilled about cause so much skipping is occuring and she learned various spins and turns and jumping around things. It was...interesting. She didn't have an "official" ballet outfit, but she had a pretty blue tutu and we fancied her up with some mascara and lipgloss, and she just looked so. old. It was like a preview of her at 16 and it made me a little sad that she was so grown up.

There's a First Time for Everything

Every time that we do something we haven't done in awhile, my kids get all excited about the prospect of doing whatever that thing is in our new house.

We're having corn on the cob for dinner tonight you say? Awesome, this is the first time we've had corn for dinner at our new house!

We're going outside to blow bubbles? First time blowing bubbles at our new house! Double bonus points for grape scented bubbles!

Its time to take a bubble bath after dinner? First bubble bath in our new house! We're gonna be so clean in our new house!

Clearly, even though we've lived here for a full month, the novelty has yet to wear off. Every movie, book, food, TV show or whatever is TOTALLY LIKE BRAND NEW AGAIN because we are watching it or having it or reading it in our new house.

Oh Middle Child

"I look nice today, you should take my picture." Good idea Ava, good idea. And on another note, why do I not take more pictures of my kids standing in this spot?

Fall in Arizona

Fall in Arizona means the temperature drops below ninety. Yay! But its still warm enough to play in the water and work on your tan.

Six Times Three

Alana is now officially six and I'm in the post-birthday coming-to-terms with it phase. There isn't much I can do about her openly defying me and insisting on growing up, so I'll begrudgingly accept it. We've celebrated, now its time to share the pictures and move on with my life, grateful we're past the season of the year where all of my children's birthdays occur.

On Alana's actual birthday she had a playdate with a friend and we had cupcakes with her and sang Happy Birthday for the first time.

For dinner that night we went out to pizza and when we came back we had cake. Again. This time I didn't have any, cause it is possible for me to get sick of cake. And of course we sang Happy Birthday again.

On Saturday, just when we thought we were done with birthdays, we had an actual party at Peter Piper. We ate pizza, my nephew won 2,500 tickets on some random machine, Alana spent all of her tokens on Skee-Ball (that's what I used to do too, that game rules!), presents were opened, and weird wormy cupcakes were eaten. Alana might be the girliest of girls but the cupcakes she requested were "dirt cakes" dipped in Oreo crumbs and covered in gummy worms. I thought they were gross, but she liked them. Then we sang Happy Birthday for the third time. She liked it just as much as the first time. After the party we went to the movies to see Hotel Transylvania with my family which consists of about 100 people, which was an adventure. It was a good end to Alana's birthday extravaganza.

These gross worm cakes weren't even the last cupcakes I have to make for her birthday. She still has to take cupcakes to school for her birthday when fall break is over. I'm still a slave to the cupcake and dragging Alana's birthday out as long as possible.

Borderline Obsessed

I knew before Tuesday my girls were excited to have a new brother. Each night at bed they told him goodnight and Ava said I lush you Witten! And when Ava was born Alana was pretty excited, she wanted to hold her first thing in the morning every day. That novelty clearly ran out since Ava is almost three.

When the girls got to the hospital to visit they both held their brother and gave him love and kisses, but there were other people there so they had to share him. And then they had to go home for the night without him, so their excitement just carried over to the next day. And then they went home without him again, which just increased their excitement even more.

On Thursday when it was time for me and Witten to come home David didn't bring them to the hospital with him, so instead they sent a bag with toys for their brother which I'm assuming was to keep him entertained till he got home and could play with them. Every 2 day old needs to play with a stuffed McQueen and some new carseat toys.

Now that he is home, and has been for almost two day, they will not hardly leave him alone. They want to hold him constantly, and they argue over who gets to hold him next. They both got up at 7 the past two days, waking me up, even though he was still asleep. I finally have a baby who sleeps in and my older kids decide that they don't want to sleep till 8 anymore.

Its sweet that they like him so much, but they need a few lessons on the concept of personal space. Its too hot for them to be all up in his face all the time, and when I'm holding him they are right on top of me. I'm sure the novelty will wear off, and he will get bigger and squirm away from them. Then they can just play with him instead of smothering him with love. Not that I really blame them. I don't especially want to put him down. I didn't have to share him while he was kicking away in my belly that whole time, now all of a sudden I have to let other people hold him. Completely unfair.

Farewell Sleep

Under normal circumstances in my house I sleep till 8 am. Every single day. We all do. I can't lie and say I like to get up early, because I don't. I'm not completely opposed to it, but given the choice I pick sleeping in. I'd sleep later if I could. Both of my kids are late sleepers too, but they got that way gradually around age 2.

As of today I am 37 weeks pregnant. The arrival of a little alarm clock is imminent. Not only that but 6 weeks from tomorrow Alana goes to kindergarten. My days of sleeping till at least 8 am are numbered. That number gets smaller by the day.

I will miss it, this whole sleeping in thing. It will never be the same. Even on weekends I will have a baby waking me up. Ava is the only one who will probably still sleep as long as she wants to. Alana will get up for school and I will get up with her.

Getting up early isn't exactly the biggest change our family has in store for us right now, since kindergarten and a baby are kind of a big deal. But its how those things are going to impact us. Days like today, where even though we went to the grocery store so we weren't total couch potatoes, are probably going to be fewer. Right now Ava is naked, the couch cushions are all on the floor cause that is totally awesome and fun and annoys Mommy which gives it bonus awesome points, and the girls are watching a Nickelodeon Christmas DVD. Not a lot of structure. We have a routine, but it revolves more around eating at general times and eventually sometimes putting clothes on. Alana gets dressed everyday, but Ava prefers nudity and I prefer pajama pants. Right now hair brushing isn't a priority and makeup is unnecessary.

Everyone is getting ready to start their life outside the womb or in the classroom. Ava is just along for the ride, waiting to hold her brother and gain total television domination while Alana is in school. Ava is probably in for the biggest change since she is losing her fulltime playmate and gaining someone she can boss around who probably won't listen to her.

I can't say I won't miss sleeping in, cause that would be a lie. If you ask any parent what they wish they had more of its probably sleep. And money. We could all probably use some more of both of those. I'd sacrifice the sleep for the money probably. Ask me again in 2 months when I'm getting up before 7 am to change diapers and brush Alana's hair and send my first born precious lady off into the world everyday and then cry because I miss her. And I'm sleep deprived. My answer might have changed.

Of Course My Children Are Geniuses

Artistic ability runs in my family, it practically stampedes.

Blue egg by Alana, orange by Ava. And it goes without saying that they are masterpieces.

The Debate Team

Nuh-uh. Yes-huh. Nuh-uh. Yes-huh. Nuh-uh. YES-HUH.

That is a typical conversation between my children. They have formed a debate team and appointed themselves on opposite sides of it. Whatever one says, the other disagrees with. And they both have to have the last word, especially Ava.

Sometimes it starts with something small, like Ava making a statement that is clearly wrong, everyone knows it, but she will never admit it, and of course because Alana is older and wiser SHE MUST correct her or the world as we know it will end forever. What? Ava says the curtains in your room are purple when they are clearly pink? You must fight to the death over this very important serious issue!

Although a small part of my nature always wants to be right, my kids inherited this trait from David more than myself. This is correct and do not dare to disagree. Alana must correct every falsehood and Ava must never be corrected under any circumstances ever in the universe including immediate death and/or dismemberment. Ava must also have the last word, in every discussion.

Ava's opinion is fact, it cannot be disproved. Boys are stinky, girls are pretty. No questions asked. Alana is ugly, but only when Ava deems it to be so. Never any room for interpretation. Ava's butt is always nice, never stinky, and this issue is always concrete. HER BUTT IS ALWAYS NICE! Winnie the Pooh is a cinematic masterpiece and should've won Best Picture, not just this year but every year from now on because a greater film will never be made. You must not disagree! It is not allowed.

This incessant arguing drives me crazy. I want earplugs. Maybe some type of remote controlled shock collar for both of them, and an extra for David when he is annoying, so they will shut up. I tell Alana just to ignore Ava, because her correcting/disagreeing with her is the start of every fight. But I cannot. I don't have it in me. Their fighting is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Even one nanosecond of it is so very very annoying.

I know sibling rivalries and stupid arguments are not going to end. I've fought with my siblings over every stupid thing imaginable, like cleaning the bathroom cause Dad left me in charge and you better do it cause I said and I'm the oldest and I always get that stupid "You're older you should know better" lecture when you are bratty. Now I'm the one giving the stupid "You're older you should know better" lecture, because well Alana is 5 and doesn't need to argue with a confrontational two year old.

No matter what I do or say fights will happen. Maybe I should just invest in boxing gloves, but then someone will end up crying and I'll have to comfort them. Or explain a black eye to people. Both sound like too much trouble.

Creatures of Habit

I am a creature of habit. I do the same things, every single day. Nearly. I shop for groceries on weekday mornings. I eat the same thing for breakfast all the time until I'm sick of it. And the same goes for every other meal. Especially when I'm pregnant. Cause when you find a food that tastes good and doesn't make you sick you become loyal to it. For awhile I ate a bagel sandwich with ham and cream cheese everyday. Well like half of the sandwich then I gave the rest to my kids. Then I got tired of it. So my new addiction became baked oven fries. Just potatoes that I cut into wedges and baked with olive oil and salt. Then dipped into ranch. Then ate in large quantities. I think we've gone through 25 pounds of potatoes in the last month or so. I can't help it, they are delicious.

I see the same qualities of routine in my children. They like to do the same things everyday. They insist on it actually. Ava makes us all watch the Winnie the Pooh movie a lot, so we all know the songs. Then she asks for her hair in pigtails, cause it makes her look good. She does look pretty cute.

Alana likes to play with my straws like they're wands, avoid getting her hair brushed at most times, and dress up like Dorothy constantly. Over her pajamas. But she is still pretty.

And they both like to pose for endless amounts of pictures. And smile like crazy.

I'm Not Feeling Monumental

Glancing at my blog list I realized I had 499 posts under my belt. That is a ginormous number. Number 500 should be big, but I'm not feeling it. I'm tired and pregnant and every spare second I have is spent doing homework or playing with my girls, mostly cause Alana requests my presence at playtime constantly. Wanna play with me in my woom? Sure, just don't boss me around too much. I have no idea where she got that from.

So instead of a wordy post you can now look at what I spend my days occupied with. Cute ladies. Enjoy.

Now That Thanksgiving is Over

I can stop pretending that our Christmas tree hasn't been up since at least a week before Thanksgiving. And I suppose that I will also acknowledge its presence with the photographic proof. So behold, Christmas tree decorating pictures.

Ava wasn't into the whole kissing idea that Alana had. Or she was playing hard to get.

Alana is an expert tree decorator. If you like your ornaments on the back of the tree.

Ava is a firm believer that if your butt is naked the tree will look better.

My elves after they decorated the tree.

If you like your ornaments at the bottom of the tree then have Ava come to your house. She will also set up a candle light vigil under the tree. For whatever, but lets just say something like The Troops. You pick a cause, she places the candles. And refuses to move them.