I Have Mixed Feelings

School starts in 9 days. I have 9 days left of doing nothing as much as possible, of not brushing anyone's hair, of breaking up incessant fighting between my kids because they are tired of each other.

There is a part of me that is excited about school starting, about my kids getting to see their friends every day and get back into a learning environment where they aren't constantly wanting to swim or watch iCarly. That part of me knows school is good for them, and blah blah blah. The other part of me is sad. They've been home with me the whole summer, and while they play by themselves a lot of the time, they are here. I can see them, hear them, make them cookies. Alana is already going to be a second grader and she is nothing but excited. I'm wondering how this is possible when I just sent her to kindergarten. And Ava on the other hand, my baby girl who isn't even 5 yet and who cannot possibly be big enough to attend school, she is going into kindergarten. Somebody hold me.

Yesterday my kids fought over a random assortment of the dumbest stuff possible. Then they bluntly told me they are tired of each other. Okay then. Talk to me when you're crying that you miss your sister. Starting next Thursday they will be apart more often, and then we'll see how they feel about that.

The sentimental part of me that wants them to stay home mostly thinks that when they are a) asleep or b)playing nicely together. The sleep is a more common occurence, but still I will miss their noise, their personalities, Ava's squeaky little voice. Why must they leave me? Why must they fight over every game of Uno? Why must we watch iCarly 12 times a day? Why?

Ready or not, happy or sad, summer is winding down. It doesn't matter that its still hot and I still don't want to go outside, reality doesn't give a crap. Next Thursday, even if its humid or raining, I have to get up, dress my girls in the outfits they picked out especially for the first day, pack them lunches, and throw them out into the world. Ava will probably cry, Alana will probably get a little bit clingy and hold her best friend's hand like her life depends on it, and I will probably go home and watch cartoons with Witten while trying to forget I'm sad. I hate leaving them every day, but I know it gets easier. I hate that they won't be home with me all of the time, but I know they are bored and tired of each other's company. And I really hate that I probably won't take a nap with Witten every day even though I will probably have the chance too, and I don't even have a logical reason not to.

Ava Goes to Preschool

Well. I did it. I sent my squishy girl off to preschool. It wasn't something I really planned that far in advance, I'm not sure I've even come to terms with it still. But once Alana went to school I saw how bored Ava was at home with me, especially when Witten was napping.

So, I called a preschool about getting her in there. School had already started, but preschool hadn't yet. It was full, so they put her on a waiting list and I put it to the back of my mind. I didn't think that a spot would open up, so I forgot about it. Right around the day that preschool started they called me and said that they had a spot for her in their afternoon class. Its not really in our budget to pay the same amount as our car payment for Ava to go to preschool 3 days a week, so I applied for her to be in their scholarship program, but I had to wait and see if she got approved. So she didn't start right away, instead we waited almost a week waiting to hear from them. Then, on the day before she turned 4 they called and said she could start when she was ready. But what if I wasn't?

She went out and got a backpack, and some cupcakes since it was her birthday. She was excited, but since she's equal parts sweet and spunky, she was nervous and resistant. Ava is nothing if not attached to me, but she is also friendly once she warms up to people. She likes to play, and is more willing to play with people after she has met them a few times. So it goes without saying that both Ava and I were a little nervous about dropping her off with a bunch of people she didn't know. She cried a little when she went to bed, but with a little convincing I managed to get her to agree to go, especially once I told her it was pretty much a 3-hour long playdate. That did the trick, the rest of the day she was nothing but excited for her big day, her fourth birthday and first day of preschool at the same time. She even took time to accessorize herself, wearing her matching Doc McStuffins necklace and bracelet, talking about how everybody was going to think she looked so nice. She is girly in every moment of every day.

I took her to school when she was ready, and though she approached it cautiously, she went in willingly. She sized up the room, and after realizing that there were tons of toys and kids to be played with, walked on in like she'd been there everyday of her life. She washed her hands, met her teachers, then walked over to the play area without really even saying anything to me. After all of that anxiety, she was willing to wave me off like it hadn't happened. I hugged her and said goodbye, but was careful not to drag it out, then I left with just Witten and went home. It was weird, and too quiet at my house, and I didn't care for it.

At 3 o'clock Witten and I went and picked up both of the girls, since Ava's preschool is at a church right across from Alana's school, it makes it a little more convenient since they both get out at pretty much the same time. Alana walked in and sized the place up, officially giving it her seal of approval. Ava walked up to me all casually, hugged me tightly, then proclaimed that she had so much fun. She made friends, she ate cupcakes, she played, they had storytime, what's not to love?

Although I'm still not officially ready to send my baby away so much, she is going to kindergarten next year before she turns five, and I want her to be ready. She is sweet and loving and enthusiastic, but she is shy and can be stubborn about doing stuff that she wants to do. She hates getting into trouble though, and if its someone besides me giving her instruction (like her teacher) she will listen every single time without hesitation. The whole point of preschool for my shy girl is to have fun and socialize, and I think she is definitely accomplishing both of those things. I'm grateful that she has a chance to go to something that she can learn so much from, even if it means she won't be home with me forcing me to watch Caillou.

The First Grade Blues

Alana started first grade on Thursday. Hugest miracle of the week: I didn't cry. Another huge miracle: neither did she, not until the second day of school anyway. 

I feel unprepared for her to be a first grader. First of all, with the school schedule we are on summer is only 2 short months. And secondly, first grade seems so grown up compared to kindergarten. She already knows how to read and write and stuff, so now school is more about her learning than just having fun. The first graders are all lumped together with the older grades (up to 4th) which seems to be a big jump from having their own playground in kindergarten. Now they're just elementary school kids, not cute little kindergarteners. First grade is old.

Despite my mixed feelings about school starting, we tried to keep it upbeat so Alana would be excited. She had a brand new outfit to wear, a new Sofia the First lunchbox, and a whole summer's worth of socializing to catch up on. She was hyped. I was happy for her, but anxious that she would cry. When given the choice between a kid who happily leaves you and doesn't look back or a kid that cries and begs you to stay and says they don't want to go to school, ALWAYS pick the first one. Its easier and doesn't hurt quite as much.

The first day she was so excited about seeing all of her friends that she kept yelling hello to people that were like 50 yards away. She's nothing if not friendly. Then she lined up with her classmates, some she already knew and loved from last year and some new ones whose names she already knows after two days of school, and walked off into first grade. Just like that. I held strong, no buckets of tears like last year, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to cry. I cried on the last day of school here people, so its not like there's no precedent. 

My girl is so grown up.

When I think about how quickly kindergarten went by it makes me sad. First grade is going to pass just as quickly. Read also: WHY MUST CHILDREN GROW UP SO FAST??? 

The only bummer that Alana sees about starting first grade is that most of her best friends have different teachers this year. In the big picture, where school is supposed to be about learning and crap, this shouldn't matter. You don't need your BFF in your class to be a Reader Leader. In Alana's world though, this is a travesty. She actually cried tonight because her friends have different teachers. She is friends with everyone, and she'll adjust, but for now she is sad even though she sees her friends at lunch and recess and I know their moms so she has playdates with them. 

The hardest part when your kids go to school is just being away from them. It sucks. I'd rather have her here with me, driving me crazy and fighting with Ava and watching Good Luck Charlie everyday, but that won't help her learn to read and make friends and grow up. That's the tricky part. Parenting takes some letting go. And I hate letting go. Its totally overrated.

I had my girl home with me 24/7 for over 5 years, then one day last year I had to send her off for 7 hours a day. Just like that, here you go world, here's my baby. Teach her stuff, then send her back to me in good condition please. Then before I knew it, last year was over. I got her back for the whole summer, 8 weeks. That wasn't long enough, I'd like to request a summer extension. A year should be okay, I'll get back to you. First grade isn't necessary right? I'll just keep her here with me and when we get to second grade we'll re-evaluate things.

 Alana loves learning, but just like me she hates leaving. She wants to make friends, she is a great student and will do everything her teacher asks of her and more. The only catch is that she wishes I was there watching her, learning with her. She doesn't want to have to choose between me and school, it makes her sad to leave me. I know she'll do great though, she just has to remember how much she loves school and I just have to hand her over to her teacher every morning and hope she forgets how much she misses me.

First grade will go quickly I'm sure, and Alana will do just as well as last year. As for me, I'm going to spend at least a part of every day sitting and missing my girl, counting the minutes and hours till its time to pick her up, and waiting for the weekend. Be kind to my girl first grade, and she'll be kind to you.

A Finish and a Start

Today I finished my last assignment for my summer classes! Yay! Five week classes go by super fast, before you know it you're writing six pages about high fructose corn syrup and whether or not its unhealthy. And citing references, cause plagiarism is bad people.

I got two As, thanks for asking. Actually, I'm just assuming they're both As since I got an A on every single assignment and test and discussion. When the final tally is in and those slow grading teachers finally give me something official, I'm sure it will be an A. Seriously though, if I got something lower than an A in a writing class I would start to question my identity.

Next semester my strategy is to take two classes, but they're both 8 weeks, at opposite ends of the semester. First up is Anatomy and Physiology. Yikes. Gonna have to do some studying for that one. None of this stuff where I just wing it like with writing. Then after that is over I'm taking my second writing class. Back to winging it.

Today also marks the start of preseason football. That one gets a sarcastic Yay! David just watched some highlights and was yelling at the TV. That's what the next few months will be like for me. Listening to someone yell at the TV, then ask me what I'm typing about. Not you. Yet.

Football season this year better go better for David and the Cowboys, cause we have tickets to see the Cowboys play the Cardinals in December. I made have made a deal to wear football earrings to that event, which I am now regretting. I'm gonna look dumb, but probably not as dumb as the rest of the football fans wearing ridiculous outfits.

With the end of one semester and the next one just two weeks away, I'm ready to spend some time watching Wubbzy with my almost two year old. I'm sad that she'll be two on Sunday. She just turned one! She is growing up too fast. I think she has grown faster than Alana. I couldn't wait for Alana to turn two. Now she's almost five and I miss the two year old version of her. Two is such a fun age, they can do so much stuff. But one is still a baby. I can't let go of one just yet. I'm hanging on to these last two days with a one year old. Now I have to go squeeze my squishy little baby, before she grows up anymore.

Loyalty is Expensive

I am, in general, opposed to change. Especially the kind that requires effort on my part. So when the cable company raised my bill $10 in the last couple of months, I just paid it and went about my business. I dislike paying that much for TV, but I did it anyway. I'm not even going to admit on here how much our monthly cable bill was, it's so ridiculous.

I've been a loyal customer with the same company for nine years. Always paid my bill on time. We ordered more than our share of pay-per-view boxing. Kept HBO the whole time even though it gets kinda expensive, but we wanna watch Entourage and Bill Maher so we tolerated it.

If no circumstances had changed, I would've continued to pay that astronomical price for cable. But there was an interference with potential football watching. David cannot miss a Cowboys game. That would be tragic. Because the televised games are given regional preference, sometimes the Cardinals games (boo!), are played instead of the Cowboys. There are options to view the Cowboys games, but they include going to someone else's house who gets all the games, or going to a sports bar to watch them. We chose neither, and decided to get the NFL Sunday Ticket for ourselves.

We happen to be lucky enough to cash in on a deal that Directv has, where new customers get Sunday Ticket for free, a package that includes every. single. football. game. It typically costs $350, so we're saving quite a bit. So we switched. I switched. I changed something. It's a miracle.

I'm going to continue my life under the pretense that I switched because by bundling my internet and TV I can save $50 a month, but the real honest reason was football. I could've talked the cable company down to a better price, but they don't have the football. Football has influenced another thing in my life.

When fall gets here and football starts, I'm facing nine hours of football each Sunday. David already announced plans to watch it all. Hooray.

This post makes it seem like all I've done lately is cancel my cable, but in reality I've spent six hours a day since Monday doing homework. That put me a little bit ahead of schedule, but not too far since my classes are so short.

I've done other stuff too. I promise. Like buy 72 ounces of chocolate chips at Costco, which was a bad idea. Now the voice inside my head keeps telling me to make cookies, and I usually listen.

We also took the plunge and bought a window air conditioner for our bedroom. After seven years of living with only a swamp cooler in AZ, we now have one air conditioned room. Right after my dad installed it, complete with a big piece of plywood to cover the rest of the window and make us look like rednecks, it did not get over 100 degrees here for a week. It wasn't too humid and it was cloudy, so our swamp cooler worked fine. Now part of me wants it to get super hot for a few days, to justify buying the thing.

In what should've been front-page news, I got a new lens. It's pretty huge, my camera won't fit into the case with it on. I couldn't pass up the deal that Target had on it, so I got it. We had every intention of going to the park to use it, but when we got there some crackhead guy told us he had just heard gunshots and the cops were on their way, so we detoured to my in-laws backyard. Benson is so classy sometimes.

I actually zoomed the lens out all the way, and Alana still filled the frame when she was about ten feet away from me. I'm a fan so far.

Alana really has a Rapunzel shirt for every occasion.

David is incapable of taking a picture of me jumping. We tried like ten times, but everytime I looked like an idiot.

David enjoys taking unflattering pics of me when I'm not looking.

Me and Alana



The scrunch-face is Ava's go-to face for pictures. Highlights all of her best feature.

This week I'm probably gonna spend another 30 hours doing homework, so if no one hears from me for awhile I'm not dead, I'm just recalling why I hate MLA format. 





Studious

Tomorrow is the first day of my summer classes. Who needs an actual summer vacation, when you can have half of one? I'm taking two five week classes, and they're both three credits each, so I'm sure they'll be super condensed and fast-paced.

Sociology should be okay, and David is taking it next semester so he doesn't have to buy the book. I think to be fair he should pay me for it, since my pell grant bought this copy. I'll accept other forms of payment, such as housework.

Writing should be a cakewalk, in theory, except I'm faced with my current case of summertime writer's block. Somedays words flow so easily from my fingers, while other days I stare at the screen blankly, with zero inspiration. Alana's very loud off-key singing is one of the factors, but I'm mostly blaming the cold I've been fighting for two plus weeks. I've felt crappy, and crappy translates to no writing, which means I don't feel like blogging.

I'm almost tentatively marginally excited to take a writing class. Writing is easy for me. Or maybe it's just that I'm so happy to not be taking any math classes. I'm done with math. Hooray! No more algebra, until I take chemistry, which will inevitably include some math. Sad.

The past month and a half, when I've had no homework or anything to occupy my time, I've been kind of lost. My kids play together so nicely most of the time, so there's times when I could be doing something productive, but I have nothing to do. I need a hobby. So now that I have something with purpose to occupy my time, I will probably suddenly become super busy and wondering how I will accomplish things. At least that will make the hot sticky months of summer go by a little bit faster. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll earn a couple of A's!

Back to Reality

My Christmas break is over. Blah. Now I have to start doing homework again. The good news is that I'm only taking two classes this semester and one of them should be cake.

I have to take my second and final math class, which I'm taking online and not looking forward to. The tests and homework I'm okay with, but are discussions really necessary for a math class?

My other class, which didn't require the purchase of a textbook and should be easy, is a humanities class about religion in pop culture. We mostly have online discussions about designated religious topics, but we also have to watch movies and determine the religious influence over them. Most of them I've seen, like Signs or The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and those ones I like. I'm dreading having to sit through the Matrix again, because well, I hate it. I don't care if Neo chooses the red or blue pill. I just want the dumb movie to be over.

My goal for right now is to get really far ahead so that I don't have to do any real homework while we're on vacation. I might have to post on the discussion forums, but since David got me a laptop for Christmas and our hotel has free wi-fi, I can do those while on vacation, but only if I absolutely have to.

As an added bonus to these discussions I do not have to cite references. This makes me happy beyond words, because my psych class last semester I had to cite two references per post and each of the eight discussions had four posts. It was a pain in my butt.

As much as I didn't want this semester to start, I'm not dreading it too bad. I won't have a huge amount of work like with my four classes last semester and I don't actually have to go anywhere. I can do all my work from the comfort of my own home, in my pajamas, which is my preferred method of doing things. I'd be writing this wearing pajamas if it weren't for the dance off that I attended and lost at my sister's house this morning. I need to squeeze in some practice on the Kinect in between assignments, so that I don't get my butt kicked again. Until then, I'm the dance off runner-up.

I'm in Need of Some Motivational Posters

Its December. Almost the end of the semester. I haven't been this happy for Christmas break since I was in high school. Christmas break is kind of a let-down if you don't get out of any of your responsibilities. I only have a handful of homework left. One algebra test. One biology test. Three psychology discussion posts. A little of this. A little of that.

Just a little bit of work, then I have nothing to do for a month but bake some Christmas junk food and watch TV. So little to do, so little motivation. I can't concentrate on any assignment for more than ten minutes. I can't take my biology test until Monday when she makes it available. I don't want to do my algebra homework too soon before the test or I will forget how to do it before next Saturday. I have to wait on other students to post their discussions in psychology so I can reply to them. I'm just sitting around, going on Facebook, blogging and wasting time that could be spent on something productive.

I need a good kick in the right direction to get me started. Maybe a motivational poster or two. The cheesy kind that our student council classroom in high school was plastered with. If only I could remember some of them...

Sadly, I remember far too many of those stupid posters. You know how you can never remember the things you want to remember, like how you always forget one stupid thing at the grocery store and end up going back for it, even though it was on your list? That's the story of my life. I can remember the lyrics to a song I haven't heard in ten years, but I will forget to buy sour cream even though its on my list.

For some strange reason, some of those annoying posters are forever burned in my brain.

If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right. - I don't know who said that, but it was on the wall of my student council classroom, so I saw it everyday for like four years.

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. - Betty Reese

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. - Bill Copeland


These are all great and all, but they don't come close to my favorites. Old family classics. The classics never go out of style.

Don't go out into the rain without an umbrella. -Every single person in my family that thinks they're funny.

Don't pee into the wind. -Also everyone in my family, especially my dad, who thinks they're funny.

Don't eat yellow snow. -Doesn't apply so much where I live, because its like 75 outside right now, but still words to live by.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you. -My personal favorite.

I'm not sure any of these things will actually help me finish my homework, but at least I managed to sit at the computer for ten consecutive minutes. Now I just need to do something constructive.

Applying Yourself

When I was in middle school I was a model student. I actually did my homework. It didn't take much effort for me to get straight A's. Minimal effort in middle school = 4.0 GPA.

If I got something less than 100% on a test it was because I was in a hurry. My test taking strategy has always been Why dwell on it? If you don't know the answer, you don't know the answer.

All in all, middle school was a cake walk. I'm a fast learner. Middle school was easy.

High school, on the other hand, I just quit trying. Not that I couldn't have gotten good grades if I had tried, but I had other priorities. Boys. In middle school I didn't care about boys, mostly because the ten in my class didn't interest me. But in high school, suddenly there were way more boys.

Instead of doing my homework I talked on the phone with a boy. He is to blame for my academic downfall.

I coasted through high school with minimum effort, only doing assignments when absolutely necessary. I aced all the tests, so homework wasn't a priority. Then I graduated. The real world slapped me in the face. I hadn't bothered with thoughts of the future, because most 16 year olds don't care what's gonna happen next week, let alone next year.

I got a job at Wendy's, which I kept for four years. Then I moved on to the City of Benson, where I worked till I had Alana. Then I entered the world of voluntary unemployment, ie stay-at-home mommy. This job is harder than the others, takes more qualifications and doesn't pay me. Its not a permanent position, because someday my kids will go off to kindergarten and leave me here alone. So someday, in the future, I will once again venture into the workplace, outside of my home. Yikes!

I will have to pay taxes and deal with co-workers and shower before noon. None of those things appeal to me.

Next time around though, I will be qualified for a job I actually want to do. I'm not gonna serve hamburgers to lazy people who can't cook their own meals, or take utility payments from old people who complain that the mayor made their gas bill too high.

That's why right now, while I'm in the hybrid world of student/mommy, I have to actually do my homework. And I'm not happy with a 90% on my biology test, I need to get 100%. Because what's the point of doing it if I'm not going to apply myself?

The Obligatory Back to School Photo

My kids aren't old enought to go to school yet. So I have zero pictures of them in the yard or in front of the door, giant empty backpack strapped to their tiny frame. But now I've found myself as a student again at 28 and I guess I've got to document it. Minus a giant backpack.

Most people don't have one year olds with car pajamas in their back to school pic. But mostly people don't have a one year old who doesn't want her mommy to put her down. It was almost as if she could sense I was about to leave the house for three hours. Its not like I want to spend every Saturday morning between now and Christmas in a classroom re-learning algebra that I've long forgotten. But sometimes we have to do stuff we don't want to do. The last time I took algebra was in 8th grade. Its been awhile. If you need me I'll be thinking of places to take a picture that don't have my gas meter in the background.

Brothers can be useful sometimes

I guess they're right, brothers, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose in society.

Sorry other brothers, but I have to now award Josh the award of Favorite Brother. Reason for winning the award: letting me borrow his laptop overnight so I could do all my homework for my stupid computer class that I needed Microsoft Office 2007 for, which I don't have and didn't want to buy.

I attempted to get a free trial of Office 2010, but I bought my computer in 2006, which in computer years translates to it being 1,000. In order to get Office 2010 I would need a more recent version of Windows. I have XP. I would need 2007 or Vista. Not gonna happen. And because of their greediness and refusal to accept that some people might want older software, Microsoft will not give you a free trial of 2007. Why would you want 2007 when you can have bigger badder more streamlined 2010?

You can buy Office 2007, but even though its not the newest version of Office it still costs $150. Another option would be for me to drive 40 miles to use the computers at the college campus, but then I'd need a babysitter and gas money. And I'd rather just do it at my own house, on my own time.

In my desperate attempt to find a way around buying Office, I called my brother and asked him if our parents computer had Office. I could've called them, but they wouldn't know. He said he didn't know, but his computer had Office. I then asked him in my nicest big sister voice if I could use his computer. He agreed. Who can tell their older sister no?

So thanks to Josh and his laptop I have now finished my computer class. I'm done. Complete. No work left to do. It was only a one-credit five week class so it shouldn't of been causing so much stress.

The work turned out to be simple stuff I already knew how to do anyway, the only thing standing in my way was lack of Office. Five weeks of "work" done in one evening. Now I feel accomplished.

Snowed In

Hello blog world, remember me? That girl who used to frequent Blogger so very very much, but now decided she has better things to do.

I still love you blog world, but I think we should see other people. Not forever, just till Christmas. Then we can have a holiday reunion, catch up, maybe I'll send you a Christmas card. I promise to visit you when I finish my one million word psych assignment. Anybody want to write a 600 word response to 10 questions about objective observation and subjective interpretation? No? No takers? Well I just thought I'd give it a try.

When I'm writing on my blog which I like words flow fairly freely from my fingertips. I have no shortage of things to say. But when I'm writing about subjective interpretation which I couldn't care less about the process is a little more painstaking. Words stumble awkwardly from my fingers, only to be deleted seconds later. I need to find my groove. Groove, are you out there? Anybody seen my writing groove? If you see it, tell it to get over to my psych assignment pronto.

Since the semester started two days ago I feel a little bit like the mountain of psych and biology homework I have is slightly taller than my 5'7" self. Like there's been an avalanche of online coursework and biology experiments and I'm trapped somewhere at the bottom, with only one hand sticking out. Someone wanna grab it and pull me out? Or get me some food somehow? I don't have time to eat.

So if anyone's looking for me I'll be trapped somewhere under a massive pile of homework. Hopefully I'll make my way out sometime before Christmas.

***Post edit: I'm not abandoning my blog! I will still post regularly. I still have to document my life and my ladies' lives. I'm just not gonna be on here everyday like I was this summer. But I'll be back.

When I grow up...

In your senior year of high school everybody has the same question to ask you.

What do you want to do after high school?

To me this was sooo annoying. How are you supposed to know at 17 what you want to do for the rest of your life?

I'm 28 and I still don't know. Can't I just win the lottery?

So after high school I did nothing. Seriously. Nothing. For over a month I just mooched off of my parents with no plans or career in sight.

Then my dad made me get a job. Either that or move out. If he hadn't made me get a job I would've coasted along as long as I could.

Its not like I could move out or anything. I didn't have any money, so I couldn't pay rent anywhere. And I didn't have a car, partly due to my lack of job.

So I did the most convenient thing I could think of. I got a job at Wendy's, making $5.50 an hour. Eventually I also got a car, which I had until a couple of months ago. (Read about that here).

But as far as future plans went, I had none. I still didn't know what I wanted to do. I did know I didn't want to work at Wendy's forever, but that was it.

After forever (like almost five years) of working at Wendy's, I finally quit. I moved on to a boring accounting position at the City of Benson. It was sooo boring. Not challenging, not enough work to fill the day, no a/c, people talked crap behing your back a lot. But it did have good health insurance, which I was grateful for when I got pregnant with Alana.

After I had Alana I quit working outside my home altogether. No more boring job. No more listening to dumb people complain about stuff they didn't understand. I had to deal with dumb people at both jobs, so I was so grateful when I was finally done with that.

I know that someday I will have to return to the workplace. But I don't want to go back to a dead-end job that doesn't pay anything. I don't want to listen to people complain about their gas bill or their hamburger. I don't want to have to touch raw hamburger all day. Or answer questions about why the mayor made someone's gas bill too high that month. (People seriously said that).

So my only alternative is to go back to school. To do something where I don't make minimum wage. Then after I am qualified to do a job that makes more than minimum wage, David can go back to school.

So we can buy a house someday and own more than one car. And do luxury stuff, like buy groceries and pay the electric bill. We dream big.