Pinchable Cheeks

When Alana was a baby we went to Sears (it still pains me how much money I spent there) and had her picture taken, no clothes just baby butts, with her cousin Jayden. Their squishy little butts were there in the picture for everybody to see. Seriously, so squishy. So today we recreated that picture with Witten and his cousion Zoey. They were unsure of why they were naked in the kitchen and sitting next to each other, but the beauty of the baby butt picture is that it requires no cooperation from the baby. Smile or cry, I don't care, I'm taking the picture. And looking chunky in these pictures is encouraged, which must be nice.

The Orange Bowl

I'm nearing the end of my part-time referee gig.

No more breaking up pointless fights. No more fruitless efforts to get a couple of three year olds to agree on a movie to watch. One of them always wants to watch Kung Fu Panda. Always.

The major fight between them is one of epic proportions. Battles have been waged. Lines have been drawn. No peace treaty has been reached.

They continue to fight over one important thing. I think they're headed to the Supreme Court over this one.

The orange bowl.

There is no difference between this bowl and the other bowls. Only that it is orange.

Yet every time they get something to eat, they fight over this bowl. Every single time.

I don't see the appeal. What's wrong with the pink bowl? Or the blue? Why orange?

It's one of lifes mysteries I guess.

Do you remember?

Remember when your idea of a good time was playing in the sprinkler on a hot spring day?

Remember when washing the car seems fun?

Remember when asking a couple of three year olds to help you wash the car seemed like a good idea?
I do, cause it was just now. For future reference, its not a good idea.

Sharing is over rated

Alana has developed a seemingly incurable condition: I-don't-want-to-share-cause-I-was-an-only-child-for-almost-three-years-and-you-can't-make-me-share-or-I'll-scream-really-loud-itis. The symptoms include: screaming at your cousin for attempting to play with a toy that you weren't even looking at until he picked it up and now you really want to play with it all of a sudden; being a poophead; throwing a toy at your cousin for refusing to give you his stuff (even if its the pants that he's wearing); crying; being as stubborn as humanly possible; being cute right after being bratty so that no one will hold a grudge.

There is no known cure for this condition. If your child develops it I wish you the best of luck because you will want to immediately list this child on craigslist to whoever calls you first. Why craigslist and not Ebay? Ebay charges fees and shipping, plus you have to wait for payment. Craigslist is free.

Trying to make the stubborn child share is pointless, she will not. You will end up with a pile of "unshareable" toys on top of the entertainment center at the end of the day.

Dress up

I think this picture pretty much speaks for itself. Alana and Jayden are playing dress-up, or as he calls it "princesses". What's not to love about putting on glamorous clothes and "high" heel shoes and pretending to be a princess? Apparently this game is even fun if you're a three year old boy. Sorry Nicole, I let your kid cross dress, but he had fun.

Stinky rat boys

A few years ago David started referring to my nephews as rat boys. The nickname stuck for a little bit, at least in our house. About six months ago I referred to them as "stinky rat boys" to Alana. I asked her if she was excited that her "stinky rat boy cousins" were coming over. Of course she said yes, they are awesome! Since then she has been calling all three of them stinky rat boys. She knows their names, but most of the time they are just stinky rat boys.

Yesterday at Walmart she picked out a clearance box of valentines because she wanted to give some to her cousins. She proudly carried that box around the store and while we waited in line she told EVERYONE who they were for. She is a hot lady, so naturally people always smile at her and say hi. That gives her an open invitation to have a conversation about her purchases. Everyone that looked at her got a whole mouthful about how she was buying that box of candy to give to her stinky rat boys. They have no idea what she's talking about so I always have to explain so they know how to respond. What do you say to a three year old at Walmart who's talking about rat boys and you have no idea what she's talking about?

I can't even tell Alana in advance if her cousins are coming over, because she'll bug me all day until they get here. Yesterday I told her that Dole and her stinky rat boy cousins were coming over in the afternoon and she asked me at least ten times when they were going to get here. When they finally did get here she got so excited. She said "hi stinky rat boys", and then Grayson said something along the lines of "aah" to her and she laughed really loud and said "mommy, Grayson said aah to me". She was that excited just because he said something to her, and it wasn't even a real word. After that she mostly played with Jayden since they are so close in age they have more common interests, even if her idea of fun is playing with dolls or playing "doctor" and his idea of fun is taking off his shirt and showing off his bike riding skills.

Grayson and Colby are really cool to her because they are older, especially Grayson. He is the epitome of awesome. Everything he does is cool to Alana, after all he's older and wiser so therefore really awesome. I remember thinking my older cousins were cool too, just because they were older than me. Older = cooler.