Farewell to Thee

So. The school year is over. Well, like 2 weeks ago. Cue sad music. I've come to terms with it,  because hello, its been 2 weeks. But when it was fresh? I was a little emotional. It isn't that I don't like summer, even though its toasty and I feel as if I'm melting when I go outside. It is more that the beginning of summer signifies the end of a whole chapter of life. A whole year, gone with the blink of an eye.

So goodbye kindergarten, you were good to Ava.

You brought her first lost tooth, loads of new confidence, a love of reading, a few inches to her height, and a view into her future fashion sense that promises many years of fancy outfits with matching earrings. 

Kindergarten, you were gentle with my girl on her first day, she didn't even cry. You gave her lots of preschool friends in her class, and a teacher she already loved. 

You brought poems, books, field trips, concerts, Bobcat rallies, Ben's bell and Bobcat Citizen awards, and a Mother's Day flower I've already killed. RIP flower, I had good intentions. 

And when you were over, you brought tears and lots of the feelings I was avoiding. You brought some awards, some smiles, and a goodbye with a teacher that I was hoping to postpone forever. 

You brought my Ava a love of learning, an amazing teacher she will never forget, and the confidence to take on first grade. So thanks kindergarten, I'll hit you up when Witten turns 5. I can't promise he will be as well-behaved. 

As for you second grade, you were less emotional. Alana is a veteran of this whole "school thing". She is a social butterfly, loves everyone, and is forgiving to a fault. So if I had one beef with you second grade, its that your kids can be a little rough around the edges. Less caring for one another, and more prone to pointing out each other's faults. My girl doesn't know how to be mean or callous, so I wish you could've taken it easier on her. 

Second grade, why do your students have to be so growy? Why do they grow many inches, and get braces, and start to look oh so awkward? I like cute kids, this awkward business isn't cute. Do something about that please. 

Second grade, you brought strengthened friendships and the ability to see Alana's true kindness. You, or your students to be more specific, weren't always kind. But did my girl let that make her mean? Of course not. She showed everyone that even when treated unfairly, she would not turn around and do the same. So when your kids were mean, she was still nice to them. When they told her things that hurt her feelings, and in the same turn, hurt mine, she never gave up on them. She showed those exact same people kindness again and again, no matter what. Even when I almost wished she wouldn't. 

 Second grade, you brought learning, laughter, lots of math that Alana was weirdly excited about, and friendships that I hope continue for a really long time. You brought Alana's first experiences with mean kids, and I'd like to think she came out okay. She's still friendly and incapable of doubting the kindness in others, and I hope she stays like that, so let third grade know to take it easy on her. I'll catch you on the flip side, in a year or so, and please try your best to be good to Ava, or else she might have to punch you in the face. 

I Love and Hate Kindergarten

School started yesterday (insert mixed feelings emoticon here). Alana is in second grade. She is really happy that her best friend is in her class this year, and she has not cried or been anxious about school at all. Yay for us!

She also won't look reasonably normal in a picture if she thinks its bright outside, but she went to school without a problem so I choose my battles. Second grade seems really old to me. The kids are huge, and they are the same kids she has been in school with since kindergarten, I know they used to be small. What the heck happened to all of them? Where did all of their teeth go? 

I have no beef with second grade, I'm neutral on that. My problem is with kindergarten. I mean, look at what it did to Alana. 

She grew so much. I can't have that happening. She would've stayed the same size if it weren't for kindergarten. Give me my baby back kindergarten!

Yesterday I sent my sweet and emotional little girl to kindergarten. She had cried the night before. I was not looking forward to any rush of tears she might get. But instead? Ava did not cry. I still cannot believe it. She was awake at 5:30, got ready to go, and helped me make her lunch. When she got to school she hugged her teacher, who she already knew and loved from when Alana had her (thank goodness for that). When the bell rang and everybody went to their tables, she went to her seat and sat there like she was a grown woman. NO TEARS. And when I picked her up, she was happy to see me, but not like crying or anything. She cried later that night, she was basically exhausted. But this morning, she did pretty good again. She got a little weepy, but when her teacher and I both assured her she would be taken care of, she was okay. 

I don't know how Ava will do while getting used to kindergarten. She went to preschool, and she loved it, but it still started with some tears. She has friends in her class, thanks to preschool. And she loves her teacher. But I'm still nervous for her. Kindergarten takes a lot of getting used to, for everyone. I miss both of my girls, but sending Ava to school when she hasn't even turned 5 yet doesn't seem fair. Give her back to me, I need more time. 

I love how much Alana learned in kindergarten. She learned how to read, that alone is priceless. But I had to be away from her for 7 hours a day for that to happen. I hate that. Now I have to give away my little Ava, and I know she misses me. That kid is attached to me as much as possible, I know its hard for her to be at school. I hate that. But she loves having friends, and playing with other kids, and she was getting sick of just playing with Alana all summer. I still miss her though, and I know school is good for her. I clearly have mixed feelings about the subject. It gets easier, but that doesn't mean I miss her any less. They better be nice to her though, I'm the wrong pregnant person to mess with right now. Ava is sensitive and wouldn't hurt a fly, kindergarten better treat her well, or they will have me to answer to. 

I Have Mixed Feelings

School starts in 9 days. I have 9 days left of doing nothing as much as possible, of not brushing anyone's hair, of breaking up incessant fighting between my kids because they are tired of each other.

There is a part of me that is excited about school starting, about my kids getting to see their friends every day and get back into a learning environment where they aren't constantly wanting to swim or watch iCarly. That part of me knows school is good for them, and blah blah blah. The other part of me is sad. They've been home with me the whole summer, and while they play by themselves a lot of the time, they are here. I can see them, hear them, make them cookies. Alana is already going to be a second grader and she is nothing but excited. I'm wondering how this is possible when I just sent her to kindergarten. And Ava on the other hand, my baby girl who isn't even 5 yet and who cannot possibly be big enough to attend school, she is going into kindergarten. Somebody hold me.

Yesterday my kids fought over a random assortment of the dumbest stuff possible. Then they bluntly told me they are tired of each other. Okay then. Talk to me when you're crying that you miss your sister. Starting next Thursday they will be apart more often, and then we'll see how they feel about that.

The sentimental part of me that wants them to stay home mostly thinks that when they are a) asleep or b)playing nicely together. The sleep is a more common occurence, but still I will miss their noise, their personalities, Ava's squeaky little voice. Why must they leave me? Why must they fight over every game of Uno? Why must we watch iCarly 12 times a day? Why?

Ready or not, happy or sad, summer is winding down. It doesn't matter that its still hot and I still don't want to go outside, reality doesn't give a crap. Next Thursday, even if its humid or raining, I have to get up, dress my girls in the outfits they picked out especially for the first day, pack them lunches, and throw them out into the world. Ava will probably cry, Alana will probably get a little bit clingy and hold her best friend's hand like her life depends on it, and I will probably go home and watch cartoons with Witten while trying to forget I'm sad. I hate leaving them every day, but I know it gets easier. I hate that they won't be home with me all of the time, but I know they are bored and tired of each other's company. And I really hate that I probably won't take a nap with Witten every day even though I will probably have the chance too, and I don't even have a logical reason not to.

Kindergarten BFFs

Alana is such a social butterfly that I knew she'd have no problem making tons of friends when she started school. She can know someone for like half an hour and they're best friends already, so of course kindergarten was no exception.

Her all-time bestest of kindergarten friends was Kenna. Kenna received the most fan mail, you know, I love you, you're my best friend, yada yada yada, especially at the beginning of the year. She was also the most frequent playdate choice, which ended up being nice for me since I became friends with Kenna's mom. Kids are like matchmakers for friends, its funny how that works out. 

Kenna has also made a few appearances in my pictures, since Alana is always like Take our picture, we look nice today! and of course I obliged. Who wouldn't?

Another frequent playmate in the friends category was Akota. Alana played with her at Kenna's house a lot of times, which worked out good because all of the kids pretty much entertained themselves and mostly got along really well. Now that Alana is done with swimming and tennis camps this week she is asking to have her over for a playdate, I'll have to schedule that as soon as I catch my breath from this past week. I know they'll have fun and be excited to see each other like its been years, not just a couple of weeks.

The last two of Alana's friends were ones she didn't spend as much time with outside of school, but she still snuck in a few photo ops once in awhile. Dani hung out with her a lot in the mornings right before school, and stayed on the playground with her a few times after school. She was also one of the kids that came along with her group and I chaperoned when we went to the zoo. Dani actually got in the picture with me when Alana wouldn't, at least someone likes me. Claire is Alana's friend and lunchmate who she declared her cousin cause that's totally how it works right? Alana and Claire liked to sit together at lunch and trade foods. Alana had to take extra of some foods so that she could share it with Claire, and if she came home with an extra string cheese it was because Claire had brought it for her to give to Ava. I thought that was nice of her, thinking of Ava and bringing her stuff too. Girls are so considerate sometimes.

Me, Ava, and Dani

Waiting around on field day with her friends and classmates, Claire is the cutie with the gap toothed smile

The crazy thing about schools in small towns is that a good percentage of your classmates are going to be with you till the end. I went to school with 95% of the same people from 7th grade on, but David went to school with the same people from kindergarten on. Some of Alana's classmates are the kids of people that David went to kindergarten with. I know that a lot of the kids that Alana went to school with this year will move away or go to one of the smaller schools in this area (although Benson is the major one in Benson, there is also St David but its kind of a different town, you have to be from here to understand). I am just hoping that the good ones make it through with Alana till the end, its really cool to be able to say that you've known someone since you were five and you're still friends.

A Kindergarten Review: Why I Cried When it Was Over

First day of kindergarten/last day of kindergarten

I cried the first day of kindergarten. Duh, right? Of course I cried. I had to send my first baby girl off into the world, trust her with people I didn't know, let go of her hand as she walked off without me. But as the year went on, we fell into routines. School became part of our daily routine, part of life. I got used to having her gone from 8-3, it was just a part of what we did everyday. Get up, pack a lunch, read her book for school, attempt to tame her crazy hair and put on some fashionable clothes, go off to school. It felt normal, I had accepted it.

At the beginning I sent her off and cried and cried and cried. Then I sucked it up and let my baby go to school and learn to read and do the things that are necessary to grow up.

Life went on, she grew and learned. We went on a field trip to a pumpkin patch, fun was had.

The year flew by, pretty soon it was Thanksgiving.

The pasta necklace exchange. 

A whole bunch of little indians, right after exchanging pasta necklaces with some pilgrims. Just like the first Thanksgiving...

Right after that was the Christmas program. It was...interesting.

This kid did not sit still the whole time. 

Alana and her teacher after her Christmas play. 

I helped in Alana's class at every chance I got. Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, every field trip or water day or ice cream party. By the end of the year I knew every kid by name, they just called me Alana's mom. I also met other moms, the playground is like a matchmaking service for moms who want to make friends. I now know so many more people, just from sending my kid to school.

During spring break we moved, and when school started back up again Alana's teacher was out for a couple of weeks because she had knee surgery. That was rough for Alana, having a sub for that long when she was so attached to her teacher. She cried a few times, we even had to make a couple phone calls to her teacher and mail her a handpainted Get Well Soon card.

Throughout the year there were assemblies and rallies, the kids sang the national anthem at homecoming, Alana made the Distinguished Honor Roll all four quarters, and of course the thing she wanted the most was to be Bobcat Citizen basically like student of the month. You get that by being respectful, responsible, caring, and safe. I know, many many children told me.

The school won't let you wear Halloween costumes, so she did the next best thing. 

Ready to sing some songs at homecoming. 

Writing out Valentines to all of her friends. 

Kindergarten was exciting for Alana. She loved every minute of it, even when I had to force her to stay, she loved it.

The last trip of the year was to the zoo, so of course we all went.

The Friday before Mother's Day the whole Kindergarten had a short play where they sang and gave the moms cookies and flowers. A couple of weeks before that they had a poetry recital. Both were endlessly entertaining, and I'm pretty sure they both involved some public nosepicking, luckily it wasn't ever my kid doing it.

When the year was not quite through they had field day. I'm pretty sure the concept of a relay race is beyond the comprehension of 5 & 6 year olds, it was a mess. It was entertaining though, if you find little kids trying to do the long jump funny.

One of these girls was super fast (not my kid) and one of them gave the baton to the wrong kid who wasn't on their team or in their class (also not my kid). 

The last week was spirit week, and it included crazy hair day, which Alana was born to participate in. She could just roll out of bed and be ready, but we went with something cuter instead. 

The last thing of the year, since her school does not have a kindergarten graduation, was the Bobcat Rally on almost the last day of school. This was Alana's last chance to win Bobcat Citizen, and she was hyped. I had actually mentioned to her teacher when we were at the zoo (because a little name dropping on your child's behalf never hurt anyone right?) that Alana really wanted to be Bobcat Citizen, mostly because you get a free shirt and who doesn't like free shirts. Her teacher was surprised, because she thought Alana had already been Bobcat Citizen. Told you name dropping never hurt anyone, cause otherwise Alana would've been overlooked.

The Bobcat Rally finally came, and Alana was a Reader Leader (she was ranked #9 total out of the whole combined kindergarten of 4 classes), she made distinguished honor roll for the fourth time, and who would've thought, she was a Bobcat Citizen!!! To say she was excited is an understatement. She put the shirt on immediately, over her other shirt. She would wear it every day if I let her.

She was proud, I was proud, it was a good Bobcat rally. If only she was as well behaved at home as she is at school.

Then, much to my dismay, it was the last day of school. I was sad. I took her to school as usual, then I made a last minute decision to go to her class ice cream party and help out. One last party for old time's sake. I'm still unsure if it was a good idea, I was an emotional wreck. I cried like an idiot. Alana had made her teacher a card the night before, which set off my emotions already, and her teacher told me that it made her cry too. At least I wasn't alone in my tears.

I still can't read this card without crying. Then her teacher read a poem out loud about how they were all special and she loved being their teacher. Then she looked up at me and another mom and she was crying and we were crying. So many emotions are involved in kindergarten. Then Alana got her kindergarten "diploma" and we all distracted ourselves by serving the kids enough ice cream to get a giant sugar high right before they went home.

Alana wanted one last picture with her teacher at the end of the day, then we all hugged goodbye like we were never going to see each other again. I seriously don't know when I turned into such a giant crybaby, I'm guessing sometime around 2006 when I had Alana.

The reason that kindergarten was so special this year wasn't just because my lady grew up so much and learned to read, it was because she had such a good teacher. I mean really, this has got to be the most important job in the world. We trust these teachers with the most valuable things in our life, they are with our kids as many hours as we are, they help to shape our children's love of education. If Alana hadn't had such a great teacher it would've been so hard for me to get her to stay at school. There were times when Alana literally had to be made to stay there without me, I don't know what I would've done without her. Alana was excited to hold her teacher's hand and walk to class every morning, that really saved me a lot of dragging her into school.

Teachers are important, and they are underpaid and underappreciated. Mrs Hermes will always have a special place in my heart for taking care of my baby for me all through kindergarten. It really takes a special person to take care of all of these kids and love them the whole year through, then just when you get them to where they're useful and they can read and stuff, you have to send them on to first grade.

I'm still an emotional mess about the end of this year. Really, who cries because school is over? I know we'll have to make quite a few visits back to her classroom next year, at least for hugs and to give her a Christmas card. When Ava is in kindergarten (and she will probably be in her class because that's how our school typically does that, siblings all get the same teacher) I'll be more than happy to volunteer again, just because she's such a great teacher. Then when that year is over, somebody better pass me the tissues, cause I'm sure I'll cry again.