Cheater Cheater Cookie Eater

I am not on a diet. Diets don't work. I will never diet. That being said, I am trying to eat healthier. You know, less than 4 cookies a day. At this point in my life I would consider that a success.

I have eaten at least one cookie a day since Friday. On Friday I made chocolate chip cookies. In an effort to not eat them all in one sitting, I only baked nine. Out of those nine I probably ate five. Then Saturday I baked another nine. I ate approx. six. Sunday: Last of the cookie dough. Nine cookies baked. Six cookies consumed. By me.

In the first batch of cookies I didn't use the whole bag of chocolate chips because I added toffee. So Monday morning rolls around and I start getting the itch to bake some cookies. My only problem was that I only had one stick of butter, which is half of what the recipe called for. So I halved the recipe but changed it up just a little by making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies instead.

David claimed to be tired of cookies. Is that even possible? So naturally the only solution was for me to eat four out of the six baked cookies, and one spoonful of dough. No sense in wasting good cookies just cause my husband doesn't appreciate them. Repeat that once again after dinner. I never get tired of cookies.

Yesterday I baked the remaining cookie dough right before my nephews were coming over, that way I had a reason not to eat all of them myself. In the interest of sharing I saved cookies for everyone else. That left me with only two cookies for yesterday. :(

In spite of my all cookie, all the time diet I've actually lost ten pounds with regular exercise. If I don't exercise everyday then I feel massive amounts of guilt for my cookie consumption. But I've managed to exercise consistently for the entire month of July. That's a new record for me.

I ran a mile both Saturday and Sunday (may not sound like much, but I've got to start somewhere!). Then on Monday I set off on my run with the best of intentions. It was oatmeal cookie day so I had some compensating to do.

I was in the home stretch, which just happens to be in front of Walmart. My stepsister pulled up next to me, looking at me like I was crazy. To be fair, she's probably never even seen me attempt exercise in the last 15 years. I told her I had an invite to Ava's birthday for her. She should come to my house to get it. But I'm not at my house. I'm in front of Walmart. So drive me home in the meantime.

How lazy am I that I hitched a ride home for a quarter of a mile? I should've had her drop me off out of sight of my front door so I could've just acted like I had run the whole time.

When I came in the front door with a stupid looking smile on my face David was already suspicious. I confessed that I'm an exercise cheater. I'm willing to eat the cookies but when it comes time to burn them off I'm not nearly as devoted.

I can't help it. I feel no loyalty to exercise. What has it ever done for me? But cookies on the other hand, they have a special place in my heart. They've been there through thick and thin. Through the ups and downs. They have never let me down. I can always count on cookies, as long as I don't have to count their calories.
 

So far so good

I really really hate exercise. Yet so far I've stuck with my plan of exercising at least 30 minutes a day for 5 days a week.

For people without kids or people who can afford a gym membership this goal may not seem that large.

First of all, my kids both have anti-exercise detectors built in. Even if I try to exercise when one or both of them is asleep, I don't get more than 15 minutes in before someone (usually Ava) protests. And then climbs up my legs, cries, tries to sit on my chest while I'm doing crunches or just gets underfoot.

Second of all, there is only one place in Benson to go to exercise. And its way out of my price range. My price range is zero. I need exercise to be free.

My last resort has been to go for a run when David is home and can wrangle my ladies. Its really more of a speed walk that I end with a sprint, but it counts as cardio.

Its not even that I have that busy of a life. Most of my days are spent at home, with no schedule. Its just that my kids hate when I exercise. Unless its yoga, then Alana is all gung-ho. Namaste.

Despite everyone's efforts to kill my workout routine, I have prevailed. Combine that with my "diet", and I've been doing pretty good. By diet I mean I haven't eaten a whole pan of brownies by myself in like, two weeks. I made homemade cinnamon rolls and only allowed myself one per day, for two days. I made zucchini bread and took it to my dad's house to share. For me, that's monumental.

I normally eat a pretty balanced diet, I just have a major sweet tooth. Just cutting out all my extra calories from sweets and exercising about 30 minutes a day I already accomplished the initial small goal I set for myself. Five pounds, check.

I bought a new scale and didn't really believe it when I weighed myself. I weighed myself 2 weeks ago at someone else's house and weighed 130. On Saturday when I got out my scale I weighed 125. Sure enough when I weighed myself today on the first scale, I weigh 125. My scale is not a liar.

I'm 5'7", so I'm at a normal weight alreadyand have a healthy BMI. I just want my clothes to fit my waist a little better, but since I have such a boyish figure (not counting temporarily c-cup boobs from breastfeeding), a couple inches on my waist makes a difference. I blame my narrow hips.

Now my goal is more to get into better shape, so I don't feel like I'm dying when I do more than 5 minutes of cardio. Here's to long naps and cooperating children.

Death by exercise

Can't...blog. Possibly.....dying. Jillian Michaels........is...devil. Ears.....ringing. Quads.....burning. Face......red. Heart....racing. Breath....loud. Husband.......laughing at me. Avenge me blogworld. Avenge me.

Exercise TV

We have cable, and included with our service is On Demand TV.

This means we can watch a selection of TV shows and movies from HBO whenever we want. Doesn't matter too much to me though, since we have DVR too. We pretty much have it all when it comes to our TV.

Included with On Demand service is one useful tool though. Exercise TV. Its like having 100 fitness DVDs at our fingertips. Whatever you feel like doing, they have. You can do 10, 20 or 30 minute sessions. You can do yoga, pilates, cardio or dance. You can tone your butt with Kim Kardashian if that's what floats your boat. Or learn the Thriller dance with some amateur Micheal Jackson wanna-bes.

Now I'm not the biggest fan of exercise. I actually hate it. But I also hate the 5 extra pounds I have. I've always been the skinny girl, and if I were to cross over into some other category I don't know what I'd do. Five pounds doesn't seem like a lot at first, but that's how it starts. I would rather control my size while I'm still at a healthy body weight and BMI than have to do extra diet and exercise in the future if I let it get out of control.

I know when I wean Ava I will lose a couple of pounds in the boobs, which will help. I miss my little A cups. And breastfeeding makes you so hungry. I have to eat every few hours or my stomach is growling. And if I were to try and diet and limit my calorie intake, it would affect my milk supply. I have to eat at least 2,000 calories a day or I starve my baby. As Ava eats more solid foods she needs me less, and as soon at she hits one I'm cutting her off. I'm reclaiming my boobs.

The whole eating 2,000 calories a day isn't really an issue for me. For the most part I eat really healthy. I barely ever eat red meat, I always eat whole wheat, I don't drink soda, I make sure to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. But I have a seemingly incurable condition. A massive sweet tooth, paired with almost complete lack of willpower. If I make a batch of cookies, I will eat most of them. If we have ice cream, I will eat it everyday.

This sweet tooth has been with me as long as I can remember. As a kid, I would eat frozen cool whip because it was the closest thing we had to ice cream. I would suck the chocolate off of Raisinettes, because I didn't like the raisin but I wanted to eat the chocolate. I would freeze chocolate milk and try to pass it off as ice cream. I don't recommend any of those. My one shoplifting incident in my life was a Snickers bar. Then my sister caught me eating it and I had to share to buy her silence. Wasn't worth it.

Its not that I think its a realistic goal to never eat sugar again. That's not even a possibility. But maybe I should consider not making any whole batches of cookies when I'm home alone all day. Or making a cake that I'm not going to take somewhere to share with other people. I love sugar too much to give it up entirely. But I also love being skinny. So sacrifices have to be made.

If this means I have to exercise, so be it. Its the price I have to pay to be skinny and not have to move up from my size 6 jeans, which I've been wearing since high school (not the actual same jeans, just the same size).

I have two days of exercise under my belt already. Now if I can keep from hurting my back again like I did yesterday, I should be okay. I just have to exercise (almost) everyday for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll relax a little when I'm pregnant again, since having a flat stomach isn't so much of an issue then.

As an added bonus, Alana loves to do yoga, and if you've ever seen a 3 year old do yoga then you know its almost the cutest thing you'll ever see in the world.