How to lose friends and ostracize people, all from the comfort of home

When you go on Facebook, do you scroll through your newsfeed and think "Wow, there is too much tolerance and crap on here, but what can I do about it?" If that sounds like you, I have some important advice on what to do, sure to get rid of any liberal friends you may have left, all from the comfort of your own home!

Do you hate orphans? Refugees? Gay marriage? Anyone on government assistance regardless of their level of need? Do you really have a grudge against Planned Parenthood? And the President? And everyone? Hurry, act now, while they're vulnerable. Post about how you hate those things! The more racist, the better! Once they know how you feel, they'll surely change their mind!

I have found, through extensive online research, that the more you talk about your racist and homophobic opinions on social media, the more people will agree with you! And if they don't surrender and admit you are right, screw 'em! Unfriend them, call them names, go ahead and disown them. Moderation isn't necessary, neither is respect. These people don't agree with you, therefore they are stupid. Call them names, tell them you're voting for Donald Trump because clearly he has what it takes to run our country, and then if they are still talking to you, tell them they're adopted. Works every time!

If you still find that you have too many friends, you aren't being racist enough. Deny racism exists, this is especially great if you are white and middle class. Clearly, you are an expert on our country and its socioeconomic status, you know all of the things there are to know about minorities and systemic racism. If people can read your posts and comments without getting nauseous and having a crisis of faith in your friendship, you aren't being extreme enough. Try spelling things wrong and writing in ALL CAPS. That should push things over the edge.

I personally can testify that all of these things on Facebook are enough to make me want to delete my account, so I know they work! Good job to everyone who rants about ignorant stuff and makes rude comments behind the false security provided to them by the internet! If you won't say it to someone's face, you should definitely say it to them on the internet! They don't have feelings on the internet, that's just science! Keep up the good work!

I'm Raising Tiny Socialists (Insert Gasp Here)

A few days ago at a red light I was stuck behind someone with SO MANY BUMPER STICKERS. Not just a large quantity of bumper stickers, but somewhat offensive (to me at least) bumper stickers. Its like bumper stickers are the quickest way of letting people know you're an asshole without actually meeting you. Mission accomplished in this case...

The first sticker I noticed said "Pro-life" which incidentally, I do not find offensive. The second one I noticed said "Anti-welfare" which I actually do find offensive, because of its relationship with the first sticker. You cannot be gung-ho pro-life, but then stop giving a crap about that baby once it is born. It just doesn't make sense to me. Not everyone has the funds to raise a baby without help. Kids are expensive. They insist you feed and clothe them. And they also like it if you change their diaper periodically, and diapers are the most pricey thing you are going to buy for your kid to pee on.

Airing your political laundry on the back of your gas-guzzling vehicle is one thing. Being a total jerk about all things relating to your political views is another. If you want to compare the president to Hitler/Nazi Germany for taxing you, that is your opinion. Its an insane opinion, because you're not being rounded up and placed into concentration camps, but I digress. Opinions aren't facts, so you can go around forcing yours on people all you want, but it won't make a difference. I happen to really love chocolate chip cookies, but I do not have a bumper sticker stating that. I also do not go around insisting everyone agree with that opinion, forcing them to eat cookies and belittling them if they say they prefer peanut butter instead. Because everyone gets their own opinion. 

Recently Alana came home from school saying how one of her classmates claims he hates the president. We paused to think about what to say. Everyone has something to say when it comes to the president, but regardless of what you think, you can't change it. I explained to her that her classmate's opinion was probably more reflective of his parent's opinion, and no matter who the president is, you should be respectful about it, because they are the one who was voted in, and complaining about it does no good. I happen to have voted for Obama twice, but that doesn't mean I always completely agree with everything he does. I am a democrat in a town of republicans, but I'm still entitled to my own political views, even if half of my Facebook friends incessantly post their conflicting ones.

Among the most important goals that I have for myself when parenting, raising children who do not grow up to be assholes is pretty high on my list. We teach our children to share when they are young, there is no reason for that to stop when they are adults. Teaching our kids to look down on people on welfare, who are not all drug addicts and lazy people, is teaching them that charity is pointless and we should never help anyone in need. After explaining to Alana why some people don't like the president, and why some people don't agree with welfare, we asked her a question. If you have a dozen cookies, do you keep them all for yourself? Or do you share them, because you have more than enough and some people don't have any? When she answered she would share them, that's when I knew I was raising a tiny socialist. If giving to people who need help, loving someone in spite of their differences, and not being an asshole are things that make my children small liberal "socialists" then I'm okay with that.

It is entirely possible that my kids will grow up to have similar political opinions to my own. I would prefer that outcome, but I want them to reach it on their own. I was always raised to be a tolerant, generous, and hardworking person who treats everyone the way that I want to be treated. I think a big part of who I am now is reflective of that. No one ever told me what to believe, because the goal here is someone who thinks for themselves. I don't know what exactly triggered me to become a liberal person in a town of conservatives, but I'm hoping for the same outcome with my own kids, even if it means they grow up and disagree with all of their Facebook friends.

The Thing About Politics

I must stay away from Facebook right now. Too many volatile status updates about the end of the world. Too much negativity. Too many sore losers. And on some level, I get it. I get the disappointment, but not the Oh my God they're gonna take my guns so I'm gonna move to Mexico! That'll solve everything! Mexico doesn't have any problems, that's totally why people from there are always trying to come here and find "a better life" cause Mexico is so awesome!

I get it. Your guy didn't win. You're mad. BUT THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT SO SUCK IT UP.

When it comes to politics in this small town I am a minority. I am, wait for it, a Democrat. Gasp! That is right. I am liberal. I am pro-choice, because although I don't think I could ever in a million years have an abortion, that isn't my decision to make for other people. Not my life, not my body, not my decision. Especially in the case of rape or incest. Men shouldn't even get an opinion on the subject of pregnancy caused by rape, I'm looking at you Todd Akin. I am for gay marriage, because I'm super liberal like that. Once again, not my life. Other people's marriages have no effect on me, what reason do I have to withhold the love/hate relationship that is marriage from other people. Also see: in-vitro fertilization, pell grants, child tax credit. All in my liberal agenda. And the thing about my opinion is that it is mine. You don't have to share it. I won't try to convince you otherwise. Believe what you will, unfriend or unfollow me if you want. But don't be so negative.

We are all a product of our environment. Nature vs nurture and all that jazz. My parents never discussed politics once in my childhood, but I somehow came out of it with this crazy mentality that everyone deserves the same opportunities in life.

No one is better than anyone else and I'm not here to say otherwise. Except that my baby is totally cuter than most, but that's not based on opinion, its fact. See:

If the shoe were on the other foot and the candidate that I didn't vote for had been elected, I know I would've been disappointed. But I wouldn't be making plans to move to Mexico. I'm way too white and my Spanish is horrible.

Let's Agree to Disagree

Here's the thing about politics: we all have different opinions. And we have them for different reasons, whether its religion or personal choice or we just believe everything we hear, good or bad. That's fine, believe what you want. Let me believe what I want. Don't impose your beliefs on me, I'll do the same.

I don't expect everyone to believe in the same things as me. In my small conservative town I am the minority, not a lot of Democrats around here. That's fine, it doesn't change my mind. In my Facebook feed I see a lot of differing opinions and that's fine too, still not changing my mine.

If you can't be friends with someone because they don't agree with you, then you're not a very good friend. I would never post something hateful like the sign on that truck. I don't think its fair to call someone a Communist and not everyone that's on welfare is a "moocher." I would never post a picture of anyone with a Hitler mustache and make that comparison, because that's unfair and kind of rude. Its actually really rude and really inaccurate.  

At some point we all became intolerant of other people's lifestyles and beliefs. Our own is the only correct one, everyone else is wrong. No discussion. Contrary opinions only enforce our own. I honestly don't care what other people's opinions are, I'm not changing mine. I guess I'm the same as everyone else in that regard, unwilling to change my mind. To me my opinion is clearly the logical one, other's don't even make sense. I should be allowed to feel this way without the threat of being unfriended. Maybe that's why I never post about politics on Facebook, because I just plain don't feel like arguing with people. David likes to debate with people, he will post stuff on Facebook just to talk politics. But I avoid it.

I've never unfriended someone or said anything rude to someone based on their politics. I just watch the Daily Show and shake my head at other people's logic and laugh at their clever use of puppets to report the news. Making your opinions known is fine, but carrying a picket sign that is misspelled or says "Get your government hands off my Medicare!" is just dumb. And posting hateful messages on your vehicle, although its your right, is hateful, intolerant, and not really patriotic at all.

The Possibility of If

I spent my weekend in a limbo of If and When. I had weird suspicions that there was a possibility that I was pregnant. I'm not, confirmed by my doctor. Let's just get that out of the way right now. My mind was busy pondering possible scenarios that would happen if I had a third baby right now. If I was pregnant right now, I would be due in September. If I was due in September I'd have a long, hot summer ahead of me. If it was a long, hot summer I'd need to go to the pool A LOT. If I was having another baby I will get less sleep. If Ava's not potty trained before then we'll have to buy diapers for two kids at a time again, which is dreaded and expensive.

I was very distracted all weekend. Then we got our W2, so I filed our taxes. Yay! What I spend tax money on would be partially determined by a potential unborn baby. If I'm having another baby, I'm gonna have to buy a new carseat, since I was pretty quick to sell the last one. What if it's a boy? I have no boy things, I'd be so unprepared! Boys are gross. What if he pees on me? And lets face it, he probably would.

We had a Disneyland if while waiting to file taxes. If we get enough money back, we are going to Disneyland again! We are getting plenty, we are going. Yay! Now I just have to wait the ridiculous amount of time till we get the money, since the IRS doesn't accept returns till the 14th, so even though I efiled we don't get our return till the 28th. That seems like forever. What if they don't accept them because I made a dumb mistake, then we have to refile and wait longer? I may have put my own last name wrong on a return a couple of years ago. Its all speculation though, nothing can be proven.

There were too many ifs to consider while watching the news Saturday. There was a huge shooting in Tucson, where a Congresswoman that I like and support was shot, and several other people were killed and injured, including a nine year old girl. Too many ifs surrounded this event. It hit so close to home. I lived in Tucson the first half of my life, and now I only live about 40 miles away. What if I had gone to this event? I've always wanted to meet her, and she holds small public events like this frequently. What if someone else I knew had been there, even just as bystander, going to the grocery store or something? Seeing a tragedy like this on a familiar backdrop, somewhere I would normally consider a safe place, really stuck with me.

Of all the ifs and whens of my weekend, I'm glad they're mostly all gone. I know things with certainty right now. I know there is no baby in my immediate future, and although I was slightly relieved, I was also disappointed. Its a pain to try to get pregnant, it would've been kind of nice to do it without the extra work and planning. I know the awesomely large amount of our tax return. I'd like to thank my children, because although they cost lots of money the whole year through, they are an awesome deduction. I know when and if we're going to Disneyland, and I'm excited. I love me some Mickey Mouse. I know everyone that I know and care about is safe, for now.

People Are Crazy

Somebody just shot Gabrielle Giffords, an Arizona Congress Woman, in the head. They shot her point blank, while injuring at least 12 other people. One of the reported casualties was a nine year old girl. How is that justified?

Why would anyone do something so extreme? I can't even begin to understand people like that. She will probably die of her injuries, with her blood on their hands, all because of someone's political views were different than hers.

I voted for her numerous times, and I think she was a great leader with lots of potential. Now because of some crazy person, who probably had some crazy views on immigration, she is in surgery and might not make it. This person didn't even take into consideration the fact that she has family and people who love her. They just acted on an insane whim and did something so extreme that it cannot be taken back.

I am basically speechless at this point. I am so mad! I can't even properly form a sentence, much less convey how angry I am. I don't think I've ever cried over the death of someone I didn't know until today. I supported her and her views, but even if I didn't I wouldn't of wanted this fate for her.

Did this person believe so strongly that illegal immigration was personally affecting them that they needed to lash out at someone who doesn't support SB-1070? Did we not all descend from immigrants at some point? Building a stupid fence won't help. What was this man afraid of anyway? Health insurance? Immigration reform? Higher minimum wage? How narcissistic was he that he thought killing off one democrat and her innocent supporters would greatly affect the entire country and the direction of Congress?

The most ironic part of events like this, and other political assassinations, is that people some claim to do it in the name of Christianity. Last time I checked Christians don't believe in killing somebody because you have different beliefs than them. There is never a time when hurting or killing someone like this is justified. Never. If you want to make a difference, hurting innocent people is not the answer. The difference that you're making will never be a good one if your solution to your problems is violence.

My thoughts are with her and her family, along with the families of the other innocent people who died today.

Some Thoughts on Politics

Disclaimer: I'm a democrat. Almost as liberal as possible. I make no apologies. But if you don't agree, don't read this.

I am so glad that mid-term elections are over. I'm not exactly happy with all the results, but you can't win 'em all. I'm talking about you Jan Brewer.

I was so tired of hearing and seeing negative political commercials. There is so much mud-slinging that by the end of every election just the sight of political signs annoys me. Here's a thought politicians: Instead of focusing on what you consider to be the negative aspects of your opponent, how about you instead focus on you. What are you going to bring to the table? What can you do differently than them?

I hate that everyone is so concerned with their opponent that they don't even bother to tell us how they'll be any different. And I couldn't escape. There were signs all over the place forcing negative comments about the incumbent Congress woman. She forced OBAMA-care on you. She opposes SB-1070. She will eat your children alive. (I made one of those up. Guess which?). First of all, you can't fault someone for voting with their party. She voted the way she promised to vote. Just leave her alone. She won in spite of your mud-slinging.

Arizona was in the news a lot this year for some controversial "anti-immigration" laws. SB-1070. It basically gave cops the right to ask anyone for proof of citizenship, just because. Some parts of it were repealed so it is slightly less controversial. I am opposed to this bill. Are we not all descendants of immigrants? Your grandparents were probably anchor babies. Everyone's ancestors had to come here from another country at some point, so why do people hate immigrants so much? Not everyone who crosses that border is a criminal drug mule looking to break the law. Some people just want a better life, or a job doing something none of us want to do, like migrant farm work.

Our country is always so divided. Everyone is so I'm right and you're wrong and I'm not going to compromise no matter what. People only have their own best interests at heart. People are not willing to take responsibility for their actions, they are only willing to pass the blame onto the next person. The Bush Tax cuts were set to expire in the next president's term. That's how they were designed. But now people want to blame the current administration for raising taxes. You can't be anti-federal defecit and oppose taxing the richest people in the country.

And tea party people. Seriously. You can't be anti-taxes and then hold your rallies in a public park. You can't be anti-taxes and drive on public roads, send your kids to public school, go to the public library. Where do you think the money came from to pay for those things?

Its fine if you dislike the president, I personally don't care much for George Bush. But Obama was elected, he is our president and you should respect that. He inherited this mess. It took several years for our economy to reach the state its in, its gonna take more than 18 months to fix it. He is not a socialist, a muslim or Hitler.

America just needs a little more moderation. Fewer crazy people dressed up as the Statue of Liberty holding up a sign saying Get your government hands off of my Medicare. I've got news for you people. Medicare is a government program. Don't use your Social Security check to pay for anti-government signs. We need fewer crazy people saying they're pro-life and then killing an abortion doctor. Fewer people who flat-out refuse to compromise. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and we should all respect that.

Maybe I'm so liberal and tolerant because I grew up in a place that wasn't. I wasn't the same religion as everyone else in my small town, I wasn't any religion at all. I'm not saying I was bullied or anything because of it, but sometimes I just felt different. Sometimes people weren't allowed to hang out with me because their parents thought I'd have lower standards, which was so untrue.

I don't know what my kids will think of politics when they grow up, but Alana knows the president by name and I just hope they learn to respect other people, no matter what their opinions. I'm just hoping for tolerance.