Friday, July 25, 2014

I Love and Hate Kindergarten

School started yesterday (insert mixed feelings emoticon here). Alana is in second grade. She is really happy that her best friend is in her class this year, and she has not cried or been anxious about school at all. Yay for us!

She also won't look reasonably normal in a picture if she thinks its bright outside, but she went to school without a problem so I choose my battles. Second grade seems really old to me. The kids are huge, and they are the same kids she has been in school with since kindergarten, I know they used to be small. What the heck happened to all of them? Where did all of their teeth go? 

I have no beef with second grade, I'm neutral on that. My problem is with kindergarten. I mean, look at what it did to Alana. 
She grew so much. I can't have that happening. She would've stayed the same size if it weren't for kindergarten. Give me my baby back kindergarten!

Yesterday I sent my sweet and emotional little girl to kindergarten. She had cried the night before. I was not looking forward to any rush of tears she might get. But instead? Ava did not cry. I still cannot believe it. She was awake at 5:30, got ready to go, and helped me make her lunch. When she got to school she hugged her teacher, who she already knew and loved from when Alana had her (thank goodness for that). When the bell rang and everybody went to their tables, she went to her seat and sat there like she was a grown woman. NO TEARS. And when I picked her up, she was happy to see me, but not like crying or anything. She cried later that night, she was basically exhausted. But this morning, she did pretty good again. She got a little weepy, but when her teacher and I both assured her she would be taken care of, she was okay. 

I don't know how Ava will do while getting used to kindergarten. She went to preschool, and she loved it, but it still started with some tears. She has friends in her class, thanks to preschool. And she loves her teacher. But I'm still nervous for her. Kindergarten takes a lot of getting used to, for everyone. I miss both of my girls, but sending Ava to school when she hasn't even turned 5 yet doesn't seem fair. Give her back to me, I need more time. 

I love how much Alana learned in kindergarten. She learned how to read, that alone is priceless. But I had to be away from her for 7 hours a day for that to happen. I hate that. Now I have to give away my little Ava, and I know she misses me. That kid is attached to me as much as possible, I know its hard for her to be at school. I hate that. But she loves having friends, and playing with other kids, and she was getting sick of just playing with Alana all summer. I still miss her though, and I know school is good for her. I clearly have mixed feelings about the subject. It gets easier, but that doesn't mean I miss her any less. They better be nice to her though, I'm the wrong pregnant person to mess with right now. Ava is sensitive and wouldn't hurt a fly, kindergarten better treat her well, or they will have me to answer to. 

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