Saturday, March 19, 2011

Man Pain

We, as women, will never understand the severe degree of suffering that men undergo when they contract the common cold. To them, the simple stomach flu is ten times more severe. Because of this, they must complain more. Its not their choice, they have to do it.

When a woman gets a cold her symptoms can vary from runny or stuffy nose, cough, sneezing, sinus pressure, etc. These symptoms alone are fine. No one should ever complain about them. No one wants to hear a woman complain. When a man gets a cold however, its far more serious. They wouldn't complain if it weren't true. The normal symptoms of a cold are nothing to them. Simple annoyances. They could still go out and do manly things like watch football and scratch themselves. But when you take into account the added man pain, the cold becomes a crippling disease that must be combated with severe whining and pampering from all of the unsympathetic women in his life. We must bring them soup and crackers and juice and blankets. If not, more serious measures will be taken that you will ultimately regret. They will call their mom.

The stomach flu itself is nothing to a man. He is capable of handling it so much better than any woman, who would be in the bathroom and constantly complaining. But because of the unfair addition of man pain, he is left confined to the couch, with only March Madness basketball to comfort him. This situation should be considered serious. If left unattended, he will once again call his mom. Bring him whatever he needs, or the man pain will be debilitating.

Women can never understand man pain. What do we have to compare? Childbirth? Nope. That's nothing compared to man pain. Wimps. Just because you pushed a 7 lb baby out of a small hole, or had them cut it out of a different small hole that was then sewn shut, doesn't mean you understand the suffering that goes hand in hand with man pain.

We all need to work together this March to raise man pain awareness. To combat it. Maybe organize some sort of walk/run to raise funds for its research. Talk amongst yourselves. Together we can find a cure for man pain. The man in your life will thank you. You'll thank you.


Heather said...

Girl, you are hilarious! Amen to all that! hahahahaha

Amber said...

Hahahaha!!! This is so true!!
In our house of four, there have been times that we've all been sick.... guess who had to suffer the worst to take care of everyone cuz my dear hubby thought he was simply going to just die! *sigh* a 2 yr old and a 3 yr old, yet mmy 25 year old husband is the worst. MEN!!

Kat Von Devious said...

this is brilliant..makes me think of the new ny-quil commercials that tout "even strong enough for the man cold!" haha


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