Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Heed My Warnings: Don't Blink

In a few weeks she'll be seven and I hate everyone who tells me I can't stop it from happening. I will find a way, screw you all. I hate time, its a bitch. I hate first grade, its old. And I hate that my baby is old.

I try to pick her up and hold her on my lap like she's an infant. It doesn't work. She's too tall, her legs too long. Who is this kid? She can read and write, she is losing her baby teeth, she is playing soccer, she's just this giant version of the baby she used to be. She's a kid, I can no longer deny it.

When she was born I made a mental list of firsts. First steps, first food, first time sitting up by herself. They were all baby firsts. I didn't give even a second thought to all of her kid firsts. First day of school, first friend, first field trip. And the one that still blows my mind, the first time she read me a book. This little person who I made, she reads me stuff. Lots of stuff. Pinkalicious? Read it. Pete the Cat? That's old news. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? Been there, done that. She is a reading machine, and I still can't wrap my head around it.

When I wake up every morning and look at her, it never fails to amaze me how big she is. It must happen overnight, or when I'm looking away, or maybe even when she is at school. There's no way its already been 7 years of Alana here with me, growing up right in front of my face without me noticing. Maybe she's not really that big, maybe I'm dreaming and in reality she is actually a tiny little baby who sleeps on my chest and makes me watch stupid Little Einsteins, not a kid who takes up half of the bed and makes me watch Teen Beach Movie. That's possible right? Especially the part where Teen Beach Movie doesn't really exist and I don't have to listen to it every day? Tell me it was all a dream, no more Teen Beach Movie!!! 
Oh Alana, stop being old. Stop it right now. Let's just pretend that you're 3 again and you can talk in a little squeaky voice and sing Twinkle Twinkle to me every day and just be little and cute again. Instead of big and cute. That's a realistic request, right?


cindy lee said...

I really love your stories. You are a fantastic writer and a great Mom. You should be able to make money somehow with these talents lol!

CatDee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CatDee said...


You should have seen the look on my face the other day , when Witten was in the background (presumably) walking.. I mean.. how did that happen?
I defo feel you.


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