Thursday, April 12, 2012

Its Only Gonna Get Bigger

Where in the rules of etiquette book is it written that just because someone is pregnant its okay to ask them how much they weigh? Seriously. It isn't an appropriate question. And its not even that I mind answering that most of the time, but I think its about the context under which it is asked.

If you just blurt out How much do you weigh fatty? (The fatty part is just implied. I can read between the lines people). I find that too direct. Same with So how much weight have you gained so far? The problem with this one isn't the wording, its the emphasis on particular words. So, HOW MUCH WEIGHT have you gained SO FAR? This not only implies I've gained a lot, that I'm a giant pregnant person, but it also implies I'm going to gain far more in the next 12 weeks.

Under the right circumstances I'm more than willing to discuss weight. If that is the topic of conversation, its fine. But if you outright ask me I'm gonna dodge the question. Its an awkward question. Why do people even want to know that?

I'm not the person who gains a lot of weight when I'm pregnant. I'm just lucky. I gained exactly 25 pounds with both girls, putting me at 150 on delivery day both times. That's fine with me. It also means sometimes other women give me dirty looks when I tell them this. Sorry. It wasn't anything I did or didn't do. Its really just luck. My belly is normal sized. There is no basis behind the question of Just exactly how fat are you lady.

Just to clarify though, once and for all, I started out 122 pounds. I am now 28 weeks pregnant and weigh 139. For all the math geniuses that is 17 pounds. I have 12 weeks left. I will probably gain 30 pounds total. I have come to terms with that. I prefer the lower end of the range, but 30 is okay. I will probably get induced before my due date anyway, so maybe that will shave a couple pounds off.

For the record, How much do you weigh? and How much weight have you gained so far? are NOT on the list of acceptable things to say/ask a pregnant woman. If you think they're a fatso, shutup. If you don't have something flattering to say about my weight, don't say anything at all. You may make comments about general belly size that are considered flattering such as You're all belly or You don't look pregnant from behind. These are reasonable, believable, and somewhat flattering. You may inquire about the baby's gender, my due date, etc, but only once per person. If you forget, don't ask me again. One last time for the Alzheimer's crowd: Its a boy, due July 4th. Thanks again.

6 comments:

Amy and Luke said...

Ha there is a lady I work with, who is slightly slow anyway, but asks me at least twice a week when I'm due and what I'm having and it makes me want to scream!

Kerri said...

Yep. Being pregnant apparently means you're wearning a sign that says, "Say anything to me! Nothing is off limits!"

I blogged a few weeks ago about a man that asked me if I was having twins or triplets. Seriously? Not even funny.

Like you, I don't typically gain an excessive amount during pregnancy. I gained 28 pounds with Camden. Right now, I'm 20 weeks along and at 121 pounds, so I'm thinking I will likely gain a little over 30 lbs this time. And that's fine with me, but I don't care to discuss it with random strangers. Plus, it all comes off so quickly when breastfeeding anyway.

Am I allowed to ask if you have a boy name yet? ;)

Jennifer said...

You can ask, it's Witten. David got to pick a boy name and he surprisingly picked one that I liked so that's what we're going with. I don't think I've officially announced it on here yet, I was waiting till he is born.

Amber M. said...

Oh my gosh, I hated every question.
"are you sure it's not twins?!"
"when are you due?..... Oh my gosh, you're huge!!"
"you're only 5 months?!"
"did you gain that much with your first pregnancy?!"

Psht. I just wanted to yell at people, "have you ever grown a baby?! Did you just forget how rude it was when people asked you those questions?!"

Brian and Janette said...

Pretty sure discussing weight is off limits for me at any stage of my life--and ESPECIALLY when I'm pregnant. I'm not one of those "lucky" ones...pregnant or not. :)

Joanna said...

I don't know why certain stages of life makes people think "oh, hey, I can call her fat now!" or whatever... Sometimes I wonder where all the "Tact Training" classes disappeared to... :-P

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