I am entirely convinced the world will end when I turn 30. Here are the reasons: 1) it will be in the year 2012, Haven't you seen that movie? It could happen. B) I will be old. 3) I will be old. 4). My 81 year old grandpa said that he felt old when he turned 30. No problems with any other age. Just 30. Did I mention he's 81?
Birthdays aren't really my cup of tea. They suck. You get older. The magnifying mirror at the hotel on your vacation reveals to you all of your wrinkles. Its so scary that you turn it around and push it so you don't see yourself when you pass by.
After 21 birthdays are downhill anyway. You have nothing to anticipate. Okay, so you're not old enough to rent a car, but you're old enough to do everything else. You are now old enough to do anything that's fun, and your lost youth isn't coming back. I may not have lost my youth, but I may have misplaced it. Has anyone seen it? Its carefree and during it I could frequently sleep past 8 am. Also, it had no stretch marks and owned various 2-piece bathing suits.
In honor of me, and my large number of years, I would like to share some undeniably true facts about me. Fascinating, yes. False, no.
- I'm always hot in the summer and constantly cold in the winter. But I love spring and fall.
- I sort of hate my birthday. I may have mentioned this previously, but it is undeniable.
- I rode the bus my senior year of high school. Very uncool.
- I require chapstick on my lips at all times. I wake up in the middle of the night for the sole purpose of applying chapstick.
- My husband keeps asking me what I'm blogging about. Me!
- I have been married for 4 1/2 years but still haven't changed my last name. I'm just lazy.
- I prefer my own cooking to almost all other food. I'm not picky. Okay I am. Bland or overcooked food will not be tolerated.
- I'm only on number eight but I'm already trying to figure out what the heck I'm gonna put on this list.
- I like my bath water so hot it turns my skin red, but then I get out fairly quickly because I'm hot.
- I'm in month six of Operation Grow Out My Hair Instead of Dying It, and for awhile there I didn't know if I was gonna make it. If I don't wash my hair everyday it looks gross because of the color difference, but I'm determined to never dye it again.
- I'm a TV snob. I judge the dumb shows other people watch, ahem The Bachelor. I'm not saying everything I watch is good, I do watch Teen Mom 2 after all. But because I watch it its automatically cooler than other shows.
- I love Disneyland. Its a magical place. I feel like a kid again when I go there.
- I used to watch Unsolved Mysteries or America's Most Wanted as a kid, then I would become convinced that all of those bad guys were in the immediate vicinity of my house. Every creak, or dog barking, or loud noise was those bad guys coming to get me.
- I love to snack. I'm a snack-a-holic. That is one of the dangers of being a stay at home mom, constant access to the pantry and all of its contents. The trail mix is constantly calling my name.
- Typos are amusing to me, but only in moderation. When I see a sign at a restaurant by my house, advertising menudo on Wensdays, I laugh. But if I'm trying to stumble my way through a blog post filled with typos and bad grammar, I can't do it.
- I still have all of my wisdom teeth. They cause one annoying problem: food gets stuck in between my teeth way in the back of my mouth and annoys the heck out of me. Floss picks must be used frequently if I eat chicken, granola or popcorn.
- I cannot eat yogurt without something to chew. I must add granola, fruit or cottage cheese.
- How I Met Your Mother is my newest favorite show. It is legen....wait for it....dary. Virtual high-five.
- I'm scared beyond words of the eventual day Alana starts kindergarten. She's a social butterfly so I know she'll love it, but I'm gonna miss her.
- Chipped nail polish annoys me. I never paint my fingernails because I cannot stand one little chip, which is inevitable. I only paint my toenails, and only in summer.
- Pear jellybeans are delicious. Not just my opinion, but also a fact.
- I gave my iPod to Alana, who uses it way more than I ever have. It was totally worth it just to hear her singing off key to the Tangled soundtrack.
- I vacuum my house everyday. Sometimes more than once in the living room, depending on whether my ladies have been eating popcorn, because its messy.
- I've had some blog related writers block lately. My posts don't have their usual zing, but I'll get back on track soon. Hopefully.
- Alana says I'm the best. Suck it everyone else.
- I used to try to eat a perfect hole out of the center of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, but I never succeeded.
- Since I was pregnant with Alana I haven't used scented lotion or perfume once. They give me a headache.
- Ice cream tastes better on a cone.
- I seldom call my kids by their actual names. Nicknames are more convenient and can be changed frequently according to my mood.
Next year I think I'm not going to acknowledge my birthday, cause that way I won't get any older. Right?