Closet Candy Lover

I just found Alana in her bedroom closet, eating a forbidden Reese's peanut butter tree. Forbidden because she already had four and I said no more.

I guess she takes after me more than I realized. Candy was the driving force behind many things when I was a kid. I behaved throughout the entire grocery store just for the chance to ask for candy at the register. Asking took all the nerve I had, so there was no way I was gonna chance hearing Did you behave? Um, maybe.

Candy was the only reason I could justify dressing up as a vampire every Halloween as a kid. Hello, they give you candy if you're wearing a costume.

But mostly candy was the motivation for my lone lifetime shoplifting experience. I wanted candy. No one would buy it for me. So in line to pay for groceries at Abco, I put a Snickers in my pocket. I was petrified that it would set off the shoplifting detector things at the door, but it didn't. They don't really bother putting those sensors on candy bars, but I didn't know that.

That candy sat in my pocket like a big half melted Scarlet Letter, till we got home and I could sneak away to my top bunk to eat it as quietly as possible. Have you ever tried to unwrap and eat a candy bar in complete silence? Not an easy task.

I was on my bed, trying to chew without moving my jaw, when my sister came in. She was at the store, she knew my mom hadn't bought any candy. I was faced with a very difficult decision. Share or get ratted out. So I shared my stolen but still delicious candy.

Given my mostly cautious and logical nature, I didn't shoplift again. If I couldn't even eat the candy out in the open and enjoy it then it definitely wasn't worth it.

Candy stealing advice: Don't let your sister catch you or you'll have to share. Also: Steal something that won't get stuck in your teeth, otherwise you'll be picking stolen peanuts out of your teeth the rest of the day. Or you could just pay a dollar for the candy so you don't have to hide it.