Monday, November 22, 2010

Closet Candy Lover

I just found Alana in her bedroom closet, eating a forbidden Reese's peanut butter tree. Forbidden because she already had four and I said no more.

I guess she takes after me more than I realized. Candy was the driving force behind many things when I was a kid. I behaved throughout the entire grocery store just for the chance to ask for candy at the register. Asking took all the nerve I had, so there was no way I was gonna chance hearing Did you behave? Um, maybe.

Candy was the only reason I could justify dressing up as a vampire every Halloween as a kid. Hello, they give you candy if you're wearing a costume.

But mostly candy was the motivation for my lone lifetime shoplifting experience. I wanted candy. No one would buy it for me. So in line to pay for groceries at Abco, I put a Snickers in my pocket. I was petrified that it would set off the shoplifting detector things at the door, but it didn't. They don't really bother putting those sensors on candy bars, but I didn't know that.

That candy sat in my pocket like a big half melted Scarlet Letter, till we got home and I could sneak away to my top bunk to eat it as quietly as possible. Have you ever tried to unwrap and eat a candy bar in complete silence? Not an easy task.

I was on my bed, trying to chew without moving my jaw, when my sister came in. She was at the store, she knew my mom hadn't bought any candy. I was faced with a very difficult decision. Share or get ratted out. So I shared my stolen but still delicious candy.

Given my mostly cautious and logical nature, I didn't shoplift again. If I couldn't even eat the candy out in the open and enjoy it then it definitely wasn't worth it.

Candy stealing advice: Don't let your sister catch you or you'll have to share. Also: Steal something that won't get stuck in your teeth, otherwise you'll be picking stolen peanuts out of your teeth the rest of the day. Or you could just pay a dollar for the candy so you don't have to hide it.


NikkiDarlin' said...

Haha! Great post, shows me what I have to look forward to with my daughter. I love candy too, really anything sweet. I go through a box of little debbies like no body's business. LOL

The Mrs. said...

stolen candy is the best candy... its the forbidden fruit of candy!!!! Even if you steal it from someone in the house!!!



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