Why I sometimes hate baby showers

I went to a baby shower yesterday.
The lady is more of an "acquaintance" than a friend. Not that I don't like her, but she's like ten years older than me and I don't know her that great. She was one of David's co-workers so it was more like I was attending as my husband.  A female version of David who is there to deliver a present and eat mediocre cake.

Its not that I "hate" baby showers. I just don't always like them.

Even when it comes to my own baby shower, I'm not always on board. I had to be talked into having a baby shower with Ava. I ended up being glad I had one, since everyone was obedient and bought me stuff off of my registry.

I know they're supposed to be a celebration of the new baby blah blah blah. But if I don't know the person that well chances are I'm probably not even going to see the baby when its born. I didn't even know what this lady was going to name her baby until the end of the shower when I finally asked her.

If I'm not going to the hospital to visit said baby when its born then I don't know if I really want to go to the baby shower.

And then there's the food. Call me a food snob, but I would never have store bought potato salad at any party I'm hosting. Just in general, I don't usually do convenience food. I may use refrigerated pie crust sometimes, but I always make my own potato salad. And when it comes to cake, I'm kind of picky. Ok, really picky. Really, really picky. I picked at my cake and didn't eat the nasty frosting while everyone else raved about how good it was. I can't help it if I'm such a good cook that I don't like mediocre cake. Don't be jealous.

I'm also not always a fan of baby shower games. They can be corny. One wrong move and you find yourself measuring/being measured with a roll of toilet paper. Or giving your clothes pin to someone you don't know because you said the word baby. Or smelling different bowls of baby food to properly identify what they contain. Of course I am now the reigning champion of this game. I got four out of five right. No one but me correctly guessed that four and five were macaroni & cheese and chicken noodle soup. The smell of those are permanently embedded in my brain. And I have a baby which gives me an advantage.

Then when it comes time to open presents I find that it can be kind of awkward. Does anyone else get uncomfortable opening presents in front of an audience? And then that audience oohs and aahs over everything, and whether or not you think its cute you still have to be gracious. Note to everyone: I hate gender neutral clothing, but don't tell my mother-in-law.

Its just as awkward watching someone else open presents. You just agree with the audience when the consensus is that whatever is being held up is cute. And someone takes notes on who gave who what item so that thank you notes can be issued. I have never sent out a thank you note in my life. I intend to, but I'm lazy and I'd rather be doing anything in the world but that.

I begrudgingly attend baby showers, whether they are for me or someone else. And I eat the food, whether its crappy and store bought or delicious and homemade like at my shower for Ava. Lucky for me my sister also has high standards for baby shower food. And she hates gross cake too. And I might enjoy it a little bit, or a lot depending on who its for. But I still hate opening presents in front of 30 people.

Now for your viewing pleasure, pictures of me at both of my baby showers. Ignore my fatness, I'm pregnant.

My baby shower with Alana. I kicked myself after for not taking a picture where I was really paying attention and didn't look like an idiot. There's just like 50 pictures of us opening presents.

See what I mean? Another picture opening presents. The same ones as the last pic. But you get a good view of my gut in this one.

My shower for Ava. Alana was less than cooperative when I wanted a picture.

I'm surprised my face isn't bright red. I was so hot all day that day. Stupid summer. Alana is still not cooperating.

This is what it takes to get Alana to cooperate. Take a picture with Aunt Dole. Don't be too jealous of my non-swollen ankles, that's just how I roll. Chicken legs till the day I deliver. No cankles for me. 

You may have also noticed that I'm wearing the same shirt in all of these pictures, even though they were taken three years apart. What can I say, I really like it. Its my baby shower shirt. I'll probably wear it again with my next baby. Unless I find something cuter.