My name is Ava and I'm here to start a rebellion. What am I rebelling against? Shoes!
I hate shoes! What is the point of me wearing shoes when I don't even know how to walk? Why does my mommy care how cute my feet look? Why does she want to "get her moneys worth" out of the pink flats she bought to go on vacation?
The answer to these questions is simple. Mommys are mean. They seek to torture us innocent babies by confining our cute chubby feet in medieval torture devices. Shoes are nothing more than uncomfortable contraptions that make our feet sweaty and stinky.
I put up with the incessant headbands always falling in my eyes, but shoes cross the line.
So I say no shoes! I will do my part by curling my toes and refusing to wear shoes of any kind. I will kick and squirm and struggle till my mommy gives up. If she does succeed in getting one on my foot I will then rub my feet together to free myself so she has to start all over again. This plan will work, my mommy gives up easily. Ha ha ha. (That's my evil laugh).
So you have to do your part to prevent shoe torture in other babies. Remove them from store shelves to stop the problem at its source. Keep them from entering our homes. Sign my petition to end this horrible problem plaguing babies.
This problem isn't just a local one, its gone global. Babies worldwide are being forced to wear shoes when we can't even walk. Its time to stop it before it effects you too.