Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Today I am grouchy. Ava is sick/has seasonal allergies. She has a runny nose and watery eyes. Alana gets the same thing. No big deal.

But I am still grouchy. I have issues with things that I need to get off of my chest.

First of all, movie previews. I typically don't have a beef with movie previews. But when you decide to name your movie "Kick-Ass", I have a problem. Not that I have never in my life used foul language or I have that serious of a problem when other people use it. But when you play a movie trailer during kids shows for a movie called Kick-Ass, we have a problem. Because now my three year old is saying "Me want to see that Kick-Ass movie". Thanks for that movie preview.

I also have a beef with allegedly healthy food. Buying salt that has no "chemicals" to be healthier is pointless if you eat spam. "Diet" soda is not for people on a diet. Why bother with light mayo? Just don't eat mayo. It doesn't pretend to be healthy because its not. Frosted flakes are never healthy, even if they are reduced sugar. I didn't say they aren't delicious, I just said they're not healthy.

David stayed home sick from work yesterday. When he is home on a weekday he insists we watch Maury Povich. He says its funny. I hate that show so much. It makes Americans look stupider than we really are. Its a vicious cycle. The men don't trust that they are the fathers of the skanky ladies babies. So they go on the show. And the ones who do believe they are the fathers of the babies are on the show to be told they might not be. And then the skanky ladies wonder why no one believes the father is who they say it is. When you're on your sixth candidate for possible paternity nobody is going to believe you. Where do they find these people?

My last and biggest beef is with self-proclaimed doctors. If you are not a medical professional do not give me medical advice. You do not get a cold from putting the mop outside in the cold when you have wet hair. You get a cold from germs. Jello water (jello made to not set up right) is NOT medicine. It is sugar water with gelatin and artificial flavoring. It does not cure the following: fever, cold, runny nose, cough or dehydration. Do not give it to my kid. If they are dehydrated give them pedialyte or whatever the actual doctor says to give them.

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