Saturday, April 17, 2010

Another one bites the dust

In my fifteen years of blowing drying my hair I've gone through an insane amount of blowdryers. I seriously lost count like ten years ago. They run through my life and I can't afford to get too attached to any of them.

I started to blow dry my hair around age thirteen-ish. That was about the time that the texture of my hair changed from smooth and shiny to wavy and frizzy. Not curly enough to pursue a curly hair style, not straight enough to leave it to its own devices. Stupid puberty. It took my shiny bleach blond hair and turned it into a frizz fest, with most of the curls around my hairline by my face, the ugliest place for them. Just the right spot so that if I sweated at all, my curls would come out. And they made bangs out of my reach.

So I attempted to straighten it with a round brush and blowdryer. Thirteen year old girls aren't exactly expert hair stylists. I just ended up with split ends and slightly less frizzy hair than before. I'm just now at the point in my life where I've mastered the round brush/hair dryer combo to get my hair smooth and full of volume the way I want it.

And if it was humid? Forget it. Any semi-curl/wave was right back where it started.

Between thirteen and fourteen I killed my first blowdryer. It was cheap and crappy. I don't even know where it came from, it was probably a hand-me-down. It would overheat (this wouldn't be the last time I dealt with this problem.) After about 3 minutes of drying on high heat it would shut off. I had to wait about 30 seconds (at least) and then push the reset button before it would turn on again. So frustrating! In the meantime my frizz prone hair would be air-drying.

After I convinced my un-naturally cheap parents to get me another one (they got the cheapest one they could find) my hair was OK-ish for a few months, till monsoon season when all bets were off. Then it started doing the overheating thing too. It was a piece of crap.

It got to the point where I went through hair dryers so often I would get them from my parents for Christmas, even if my current one wasn't broken. They were just planning for the inevitable. May as well make it a gift since they were probably going to be buying another one soon anyway. If they didn't buy cheap crappy ones they probably wouldn't of broken so often.

One time my blowdryer broke on the first day of school. Probably junior year. On the one day of school when you really want to look your best, I ended up standing in front of the fan with semi-dry hair. Then I walked to the bus stop and it was wavy again anyway. Stupid August. I'd hate August completely if it wasn't for Ava's birthday.

At least I had a job so I could buy a new one, but I'm pretty sure I just gave my parents money to pick one up for me since we had no Walmart back then. And they bought a crappy one. Even when they were spending my money they were cheap. And it broke a couple of months later.

When I graduated and had my own car and money I finally bought a nice blowdryer. One that didn't overheat after 3 minutes. It was so nice. It set my personal record for blowdryer ownership. I had it for about seven years.

Then David bought me a stupid cordkeeper dryer because he didn't like the way I hung my dryer up on a hook in the bathroom. Old blowdryer still worked, but he thought I needed a new blowdryer. The old one was so offended that it broke one week later. Died of a broken heart (or heating element or something).

The blowdryer I own now is that same stupid cordkeeper. I got it when Alana was one. So I've had it for 2 1/2 years. And this morning it broke. My hair was halfway dry. So annoying. So half of my hair is smooth and full of volume (not the front half) and the other half is flat and half dry.

At least the tendency towards frizz went away with my teenage years. And flat irons are readily available to the public. Oh, how I love my flat iron. Its the greatest hair related invention ever.

So now I have to buy my one-millionth blow dryer of my 28 year life. They should give you a punch card like at Subway or something, so when you buy your one-millionth blow dryer you get it free. I should invent that.

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