Independence

Alana is at an age where she will just leave me for the day without a second glance. I'm going to Nana and Tata's he-youse, see you later. Maybe I'll be home for dinner. They do have a swingset, how can I compete?

The only time she's spent the night away from me was when I had Ava. I spent two nights in the hospital and Alana spent both of those nights at home with David. Then when she would come visit me she didn't want to leave. But now she sees me all day every day so she figures a few hours apart won't do any harm.

I wonder if I'll cry when she goes to school for the first time. She is such a social butterfly that she probably won't even notice when I leave her there. Ava and I will just go back home and wait out the day until Alana comes home at three, excited from getting to spend all those hours away from me.

I haven't seen enough of Ava's personality yet to know if she'll have separation anxiety. She is a pretty independent little lady though. She plays on the floor by herself for up to an hour at a time, just rolling around to different toys that she can put in her mouth, as happy as can be. She also doesn't need to be held to go to sleep, I just put her in her swing and she falls asleep on her own.

I know I had my share of separation anxiety. I cried everyday of first grade. I HATED my teacher. She was an evil witch who I'm pretty sure cast spells on people. She was always yelling at me to pick up my feet when I walked. The sound of my white fringe cowboy boots on the tile floor drove her crazy. Well guess what Ms. White? I still drag my feet when I walk and its been 22 years. Ha. I showed you. I'm gonna do it forever too, even if it means that I get shocked by the dairy case at Walmart, because of the static that built up when I was dragging my feet.

I came home early from my share of sleepovers too. I got homesick, which made me sick to my stomach, so my friends parents called my parents and said I didn't feel good. I sometimes got a little homesick when I was spending the night at an aunt or uncle's house too, but then I usually sucked it up because I wanted to play with my cousins or continue getting spoiled by my aunt Beth.

I even got homesick on my senior trip. I'm such a weiner that I cried because I wanted to go home. In hindsight I can blame it on exhaustion, hormones or teen angst, but I just wanted to go home. I should've been having an awesome time, but instead I just wanted to go home. So much for being independent at 18.

David's brother just turned 21. He still lives with his parents and doesn't have a drivers license so if he needs driven somewhere they drive him. If I still lived with my parents when I was 21 I would've gone crazy. I probably would've pulled my hair out at the roots, or drove my car off of a cliff. And I had a car and license so I could come and go on my own terms. He doesn't, he's stuck there with his mom still telling him to clean his room. If he wants to leave, someone else has to drive him. I do not envy him. Not that I don't love my parents, but if someone was still telling me to clean my room when I was 21 they would've had to commit me. I would never have been able to stand it.

I hope I don't drive my kids that crazy, but it's natures cycle. They drive you crazy when they're teenagers so you don't miss them as much when they move out, and you drive them crazy so they learn to do things for themselves and hopefully move out on their own someday.