Monday, December 12, 2011

The Biggest Secret in Parenting

The number one thing that no one will tell you about being a parent is top secret. I could be fined just for thinking about letting the secret out. Its not something sentimental like how you don't realize how much you will love your children until they're born and you hold them and your heart just feels so full. Its not that. And its not something practical that no one tells first time mothers when they're pregnant about how your stomach will still be all squishy and gross after you give birth, it won't just magically go back to being flat the next day. It will actually never look the same again. Unless you're some celebrity or model and magically still look the same after having kids. In that case, I hate you. No, its not one of those types of secrets.

This secret is much more life changing. It will affect you, and scar you, forever. What I'm talking about is the untangling of slinkys. Yes, slinky. Everyone's favorite toy. Its fun for a girl or a boy. But not for me. Because I've spent at least half of my five years as a parent untangling slinkys. Not even exaggerating. We have 3 slinkys at our house, and I've untangled them so many times I've lost count. My fingers are tired just thinking about it.

So here's my advice. You can approach the slinky situation in one of two ways: 1) Buy a minimum of 100, so that when you find yourself with a truly stubborn tangled slinky, you can create a diversion, sneak away to your secret slinky stash, and replace the slinky without your children knowing. Or 2) Enforce a strict no-slinky policy. If this is your choice then beware the prize counter at Peter Piper Pizza, its a slinky trap where they lure children into the presumed endless fun they can have with a slinky and you will forever be enslaved by this cheap plastic toy. A no-slinky policy is daring, but if you really want to avoid the dreaded untangling, then you must go this route. You have no other choice. Your children will thank you later.


Connie said...

Hahahaha!! We had one for 2 days and it was beyond repair. Never again I say! ;)

Joanna Marie said...

LOLOL!!! Strangely... I LOVE unraveling slinkies! I'm the slinky person in our house. :-P Eventually though, they do get tangled beyond all repair :-P

Kerri said...

Ugh. Camden just got his first slinky for his birthday and I am dreading when it gets tangled. His seems more durable, almost like it's made of metal instead of cheap plastic like the ones I had as a kid so maybe I'll have better luck. We shall see.


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