Friday, June 11, 2010

I hate to be the one to break it to you ladies...

But men DO NOT change. They will not, they cannot and they don't really want to.

They are capable of evolving slightly, maybe growing up a little bit, but for the most part they will always be the same guy.

If a guy treats you like crap, verbally or physically abuses you or cheats on you, he probably always will.

If he is expecting a baby with someone else, you should just throw in the towel, cause there's probably not any hope for your relationship (I know this one from personal experience).

There are cases that prove this law wrong. Men are capable of growing up a little bit when their first child is born, but if this doesn't do the job, then nothing will. And if having a kid doesn't make them grow up, probably nothing ever will. (I am not advocating having a baby to make your guy grow up, babies put pressure on relationships that you didn't know existed).

I've been cheated on by all but 2 boys that I dated, and I married one of them. More than once I gave boys second chances, and they always went back to their old ways. They made me realize that what my dad told me my whole life was true, men are pigs. Even my dad and brothers are pigs. That's according to my dad. He is right.

The problem with finding a nice guy is this: They are few and far between because of this: Women don't always like nice guys. They like bad boys or guys that kind of treat them like crap sometimes. My youngest brother is a good example. He was born a pig. He is cocky and rebelious at times, and since kindergarten (literally, he was engaged on the first day of school) he has had a steady stream of girlfriends. His first real long term girlfriend put up with a lot, and I secretly hope for a reunion someday (I'm team Beth!).

Women almost don't know how to deal with guys who treat us nicely. We put them in the friend category. Its hard for them to break out of that once they're in it. I had David in the friend box for over a year before we started dating, now he's lucky enough to be my husband (yeah David, that's what I said, you know it). Now I have a husband who treats me right, doesn't cheat or abuse me, and shares my same views on life. And he's a good father, that's more important than anything. Even if he makes me be the disciplinarian. What a wuss.

He may be a little obsessed with the Cowboys, but you can't win em all. I can't change him. Even if I were to try, what would I change? Ok, maybe I wish he'd pick up his shoes every night when he goes to bed, but that's not really a dealbreaker.


Overthinking Mama said...

I am learning men wont change.. i keep hoping that a man i am dating will realize that i am a great woman and will better himself to keep me... but in the long run that hasn't happened yet... sometimes i wonder if i should just put up with the bs? or maybe i am just insane...

I am glad you found yourself a great man! :-)

God Bless

sEy said...

I agree with you 100% and when bad men promised to change when you gave them the second chance, they would just show good deeds the first few months.

I am glad that you found the best one for you.

Holley said...

this is so so true. i wasted 6 years of my life waiting for the biggest jerk to turn into prince charming. little did i know the real man of my dreams was just waiting for me to leave the scumbag and find him. Could not be happier.
I love my drama free life!

Mz Clean Freak said...

yes they are pigs but I alwz been told (even by ma dad) that men are stoopid! Oh well, I'm learning ma lesson but at the same time it makes me distant to wanna try again. so I just stay to ma self and keep ma male friends just like they are....F-R-I-E-N-D-S! Ihaven't been happier since. (relationship wise)

Glad you foung happy! *smile*

Mama Mandolin said...

Agreed! The best bit of advice my mom gave me in college when I was having boyfriend troubles was that men do not change. She was married to my dad for 13 years waiting for him to change and it never happened. She'd see temporary changes or slight glimpses of what she wished he would be ... but people are who they are and nothing can change that!

JoJo said...

so true! I don't understand it, but its true. I never ever wanted the good guy. I had so many opportunities with them, but always turned them away for the jerks that were more appealing for some reason. What I like about my husband is that I know he will do anything for me, but still has and edge and won't put up with all my nonsense just most of it. Too nice is still too much for me, although now that I'm married I wouldn't mind too nice all the time :-).

Natalie Smith said... Why don't we like the "good guys?" hmmmmmmm....???? For me... It's the chase I think!

Anonymous said...

I agree! I also learned this the hard way. My ex would say he would change, not cheat etc.. and he would for a few weeks then be back to his shady ways.

I was very lucky and an amazing friend that I had now " treats me right, doesn't cheat or abuse me, and shares my same views on life." And he's a good father figure to my son. I love him and you're right, these are the most important things and the ones that count!


jack!e said...

Haha so true! I think over the first few years of my marriage I have come to realize this. Good thing my biggest problem is similar to yours... is it really that hard to put the shoes away when you take them off? C'mon now!


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