Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Disney mysteries

There have always been a few things about Disney characters that puzzle me. I'm not losing sleep over them, but I'd like some answers please.

Why doesn't Mickey just make an honest woman of Minnie? They already have the same last name. Is their relationship just a cover for something?

If Goofy and Pluto are both dogs, then why does Goofy walk upright and talk, but Pluto doesn't? It's not like Goofy has an intellectual advantage or anything.

Speaking of Goofy, who is his baby mama? He has a son Max, but no mention of any relationship with anyone ever. And why did he get custody? He couldn't of been the better parent, he's always embarassing Max and knitting crazy scarves and enrolling in college wearing 1970's clothes.

Why does Donald wear a towel over his bottom half after bathing, but clothes on his upper half the rest of the time? And why doesn't he marry Daisy? Is it because he has anger management issues?

Who are the parents of Huey, Dewey and Louie? If Donald is their uncle and Scrooge is too, then who are their mom and dad? So many absentee parents, its sad really.

Where is Andy's (from Toy Story) dad? Yet another single parent. And he has a baby sister, so the dad couldn't of been gone too long. But there's never any mention of him.

Has anyone else noticed how racist the old Peter Pan movie is? The indian part is seriously not politically correct. At all.

Why doesn't Gaston (from Beauty and the Beast) just hook up with and/or marry one or all of the blonde triplets? They're clearly infatuated with him. They would be the kind of wife he wants. (I'm not supporting polygamy, but they all like him equally so he could pick one or all of them if he wanted).

Why doesn't Aladdin just tell Jasmine the truth? A lie is never a good way to start a relationship.

I used to have lots of questions about The Little Mermaid, but most of them were answered by the prequel, Ariel's beginning. I now know why King Triton hates humans and why he had issues with music. And why he's so overprotective of Ariel. He never got over the death of her mother.

Anyone else have any unanswered questions? You can't tell me you've never wondered why Minnie and Mickey aren't married yet.


6 comments:

Margaret said...

Man, the Gaston thing has ALWAYS bothered me. I've sometimes wondered, if deeeep deep down, he really liked Belle because she was smart!

Natalie Smith said...

haha.... good stuff!

Laury Ann said...

Hahahahah.....I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post, you crack me up! These are very valid questions...I have pondered some of these myself, which is why I think it's so hilarious you bring it up!

I never saw the Little Mermaids prequel, but always loved the movie until a client told me about the original book and how "anti-woman" it was or something. Well, it didn't make me like it less...however...there are A LOT of shady, creepy, Erie stuff going on in Disney movies...glad you addressed some of them, haha!

V said...

Jennifer, stop being so funny. seriously. LOLOLOL. This was such a GREAT post. After every single thing I read I was like " YEAHHH HAH! WHY NOT/HOW COME". I love that you have thought of all of these, what a funny/cool Mama you are.

Shelley Ann said...

i absolutely love this post! i never noticed these things until you just brought them up. im going to have to look into these

Teresa said...

i enjoy this post, all very valid questions. I notice that in almost all disney movies there is hardly ever any existence of a mother and father or one or both die in the film. what;s up with that?

oh and i'm following you =)

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