The Dude

Tomorrow Witten will be 3 weeks old, so that makes him 20 days old right now. Scientists need to do further research on the space/time paradox that is life with a baby. I swear yesterday I was pregnant and now tomorrow he'll be 3 weeks old. If I wanted time to pass a little quicker, like if I was anticipating a vacation or something, then it would drag on for an eternity. But because I want it to go slower because I have a brand new baby and I want him to wear tiny newborn clothes and diapers and sleep on my chest for as long as possible, time is flying by.

What is there to even say about life with a newborn? He is a good, calm baby, but he does have his moments if you make him mad, which his sisters have a gift for doing. He is already a mama's boy, and prefers me to everyone else probably because I'm the one with the milk. He is still new enough that he sleeps all the time and most of that is done in his little bunny bouncer seat, which by the age of 1 month I will probably have one million pictures of him asleep in it. He just looks so cute snuggled up in it, all peaceful.

I am obsessed with his skinny little baby feet and will probably have one million pictures of them too. I cannot help that they are so cute.

The weird thing about life with a new baby is that even though they sleep most of the time, they still occupy every waking minute. Its hard to not want to hold him when he is sleeping, and because he is probably my last baby I give in to the urge. I love the way it feels to have his head on my chest and his little legs curled up under him. And he loves to sleep there, so we're both happy. Even when I'm not holding him I still have to watch him to make sure his sisters are not smothering him with affection. And every mother has watched their sleeping baby's chest rise and fall just to verify that they are in fact still breathing when they've slept for an abnormally long time.

He is a sweet lovey boy and even though he's only been here for a few weeks my life would now be unimaginable without him. I can just stare at him and I'm filled with love and contentment, and if he is my last baby then that's okay.

When he's awake he is wide awake, which I know also means he is less of a newborn everyday. Newborns don't stare you down like he does, silently willing me to hold him. Or not so silently asking his sisters to give him back to mom, enough with the kisses already.

I know sleep deprivation is something that most moms complain about, and I'm not really a fan of it either. But he sleeps for such long stretches at night that I'm not really getting up that much. And when he does wake up, grunting away to get my attention, I change him, feed him and he goes right back to sleep. He just needed to top off the tank. And I possess an important skill when it comes to being up at night with a baby: the ability to fall asleep instantly. I seriously can barely even keep my eyes open when I'm sitting in a dark room, I fall asleep sitting up. That's why I let him go to the nursery at night in the hospital, because I physically cannot stay awake. And stupid DirecTv is fighting with Viacom, which is terrible timing for someone who wants to watch TV in the middle of the night and suddenly has 30 fewer channels. I have nothing to watch! The ability to go back to sleep quickly serves me well when it comes to being awake at 3 am, without it I would probably watch way more infomercials.

Now that I have this crazy haired little guy I'm glad we decided to just go for it and have one more baby. At the beginning of my pregnancy I was a little apprehensive. Two kids is easy, its manageable, its not as expensive, its easier to fit just two in the back of our car. But three, the very thought of three, was scary. I had a good dynamic with just two kids. The girls were big enough that we could all go to the movies, they both sat through meals at a restaurant without me having to hold anyone, they could go on most of the rides at Disneyland and even make it through the eight hour drive without crying. Adding another baby seemed like more work than I really wanted to do.

But after being pregnant for awhile I got used to the idea, and more attached to the little person in my belly. Then we found out it was a boy, which terrified me. After accumulating tons of boy stuff covered in monkeys and sports equipment I got a little more accustomed to the idea. Then I actually had a little boy, who attempts to pee on everything, and now I can't imagine life without him.