Farewell to Thee

So. The school year is over. Well, like 2 weeks ago. Cue sad music. I've come to terms with it,  because hello, its been 2 weeks. But when it was fresh? I was a little emotional. It isn't that I don't like summer, even though its toasty and I feel as if I'm melting when I go outside. It is more that the beginning of summer signifies the end of a whole chapter of life. A whole year, gone with the blink of an eye.

So goodbye kindergarten, you were good to Ava.

You brought her first lost tooth, loads of new confidence, a love of reading, a few inches to her height, and a view into her future fashion sense that promises many years of fancy outfits with matching earrings. 

Kindergarten, you were gentle with my girl on her first day, she didn't even cry. You gave her lots of preschool friends in her class, and a teacher she already loved. 

You brought poems, books, field trips, concerts, Bobcat rallies, Ben's bell and Bobcat Citizen awards, and a Mother's Day flower I've already killed. RIP flower, I had good intentions. 

And when you were over, you brought tears and lots of the feelings I was avoiding. You brought some awards, some smiles, and a goodbye with a teacher that I was hoping to postpone forever. 

You brought my Ava a love of learning, an amazing teacher she will never forget, and the confidence to take on first grade. So thanks kindergarten, I'll hit you up when Witten turns 5. I can't promise he will be as well-behaved. 

As for you second grade, you were less emotional. Alana is a veteran of this whole "school thing". She is a social butterfly, loves everyone, and is forgiving to a fault. So if I had one beef with you second grade, its that your kids can be a little rough around the edges. Less caring for one another, and more prone to pointing out each other's faults. My girl doesn't know how to be mean or callous, so I wish you could've taken it easier on her. 

Second grade, why do your students have to be so growy? Why do they grow many inches, and get braces, and start to look oh so awkward? I like cute kids, this awkward business isn't cute. Do something about that please. 

Second grade, you brought strengthened friendships and the ability to see Alana's true kindness. You, or your students to be more specific, weren't always kind. But did my girl let that make her mean? Of course not. She showed everyone that even when treated unfairly, she would not turn around and do the same. So when your kids were mean, she was still nice to them. When they told her things that hurt her feelings, and in the same turn, hurt mine, she never gave up on them. She showed those exact same people kindness again and again, no matter what. Even when I almost wished she wouldn't. 

 Second grade, you brought learning, laughter, lots of math that Alana was weirdly excited about, and friendships that I hope continue for a really long time. You brought Alana's first experiences with mean kids, and I'd like to think she came out okay. She's still friendly and incapable of doubting the kindness in others, and I hope she stays like that, so let third grade know to take it easy on her. I'll catch you on the flip side, in a year or so, and please try your best to be good to Ava, or else she might have to punch you in the face. 

Five Years of Ava

Today my little Ava is 5. She is excited, and I feel exactly the same as I do on all of my kids birthdays: sad and nostalgic. Why is she is kindergarten already, why does she have to be 5? When I started this blog she was just a few months old, she was little and cute and had the longest eyelashes ever. It feels like yesterday that she was small, I hate time.

Ava is the sweetest, most sensitive person I know. Sometimes she actually has to back off a little with the feelings, because Witten doesn't really appreciate her incessant smothering of him.

Ava is reserved around new people, but once you get her talking she will not shut up. She was born Alana's sidekick, and she has never strayed from that role. She doesn't let Alana push her around though, she is pretty bossy for a middle child.

As shy as Ava can be, do not be surprised if she says something crazy or randomly starts singing. She is full of personality, and she expresses herself in her little chipmunk voice, sometimes even in song.

Ava loves being a big sister to Witten, and even though she was keeping her fingers crossed for a little sister this time around, she is excited to have another bratty little brother. I'm sure she will smother him with love just like she does to Witten.

The range of emotions Ava goes through in one day is vast, but she always comes back around to smiling again. It might take awhile, but it will happen.

Ava is the girliest of girls. She will not wear pants or shorts if her life depends on it. Skirts and dresses for life. I basically have to force her to wear leggings under her skirts in the winter, she is opposed to all forms of leg coverings. She loves accessories, especially earrings, and never skips an opportunity to accessorize. I love how girly she is, and that she lets me do whatever I want to her hair as long as its fancy.

Ava is the ultimate momma's girl. She does not leave me or my side unless its necessary, and she requires a lot more encouragement from me to do things. I don't mind that she wants to be with me all the time, I am pretty awesome so who can blame her. She is my little helper, she even unloads the dishwasher and puts away her own laundry. Those kind of things help ease the pain of children growing up, since suddenly they become so useful. 

This girl makes me happy, makes me laugh, makes me crazy. She is sweet and sassy, shy and crazy, and she doesn't take any crap from people. She loves Frozen, all things girly, coloring many many pictures, reading books with me like Little Critter books and Pinkalicious (who Witten also inexplicably loves). She will not be seen in pants or without earrings, and she is always fancy. She will cry at the drop of a hat, but be perfectly fine 5 minutes later, even if that takes a little bit of encouragement to calm her down. I love how quickly she makes friends, and how she is open to be anyone's friend. She is that little piece of sweetness in our lives that we would be lost without. The past five years have flown by, and I'm sure she will be grown up tomorrow. I wouldn't even mind if she was true to her word and never moved out of our house, she could unload my dishwasher forever.

The Space-Time Paradox of Parenthood

Tomorrow is Alana's last day of first grade. I don't know how this has happened. She just started yesterday. Today she got, among other things, a perfect attendance award and the Ben's Bell award for kindness. I knew the perfect attendance award was coming, because clearly I'm the one who brushed her hair and drove her to school every single day this year. But the other one was a surprise, and as I listened to the teacher stand up and say nice things about my lady I got a little happy and sad and averted my eyes to avoid public tears. I blame my hormones.

The crazy thing about Alana being so big and grown up, and I'm not alone on this one, is that I'm fairly sure she just started kindergarten. Scratch that, she was just born yesterday. She should still be an infant. And the sad fact about that is, I can't even remember what it was like when she was a baby. That is the cruel reality of parenthood. Its fast, and its slow. You want to remember every little thing, but you will forget most of the things. I want to remember how it felt when Alana slept on my chest, but all I can clearly recall is the funny things that she writes on her homework everyday and her incessant games of "school" where she bosses Ava around and calls everyone "classmates". Screw you time.

Also, I'm angry at time for this.

My Ava graduated preschool last week. In two months she will start kindergarten. I will probably cry. Because of hormones....

I'm genuinely confused as to how she is old enough to be in kindergarten. I curse her August birthday that means she is old enough to start school by two weeks. If I had her in September instead I would get to keep her here with me for another year. Its not really fair. Next year when school starts I will have a kindergartener AND a second grader. They are old, so am I. Life is not fair.

I don't like beginnings, and I don't like endings. I'm more of a somewhere in the middle kind of person. I hate when school ends, because the year flew by. And then I hate when the next year begins, because they are closer to being grown ups and I know eventually that year will end and I will be sad again. Its weird to be sad that the school year is over, and until I had kids I never felt this way. I get attached to their teachers, because they take such good care of my kids, and then I get sad because they have to say goodbye and move on to new teachers who I will also get attached to. Its all confusing to me, I don't even get it.

The most confusing part of parenthood is how it seems to both take forever and fly by. One bad day with fighting kids and crying and too much whining can seem like an eternity, but then you wake up and a year has gone by. Yesterday I woke up with Alana, made her breakfast and a lunch, brushed her hair and sent her to her first day of first grade. Tomorrow I will send her to her last. And probably cry, because its the end. I don't even know anymore. And then when I wake up the next day, I will brush the hair of both of my girls, feed them breakfast and pack their lunches, and send them to kindergarten and second grade. Then I will cry, let's blame hormones for that one. And motherhood, because it has made me into a giant crybaby who doesn't understand the passing of time.

Avast Ye Mateys!

Happy "Talk like a pirate day"! But really, who comes up with this crap? Why do we need a "day" for everything? Because when you're Ava, everyday is "Talk like a pirate day". So here ye, scallywags, just be lookin' at these here photos and be on with your day.