More of the Same & Why I Would Make a Terrible Hostage Negotiator

My life has been somewhat monotonous lately. I'm in a blogging rut, do to the absence of any kind of blogable event or thoughts. I'm in a dinner rut, do to lack of appetite caused by a 3 pm snack and complete boredom with everything I have ingredients for. There's nothing on TV, except crappy reality TV shows that I would consider torture to watch. It's hot outside, and I have a low tolerance for the heat.

Everyday seems like the exact replica of the previous one. Wake up. Change Ava's diaper. Watch cartoons. Look at Facebook. Vacuum. Eat breakfast. Change Ava's diaper. Wash dishes. Maybe wash and dry hair. Big maybe. Sweep and mop. Cartoons. Change Ava's diaper. Pick up toys. Bike riding indoors. Bubbles. Break up a fight or two. Diaper change. Snack. Dishes. Change Ava's diaper. Barbies. Pick up toys. Coloring. Hide and go seek. Pick up toys. Cartoons. Lunch. Dishes. Laundry. Dishes. Disagreements over what to watch on TV. Cartoons. Change Ava's diaper. Decide what to cook for dinner. Eat something unhealthy and unnecessary. Play-doh. Pick up toys. Dinner. Dishes. Sweep again. Pick up toys. Break up more fighting. I'm a regular referee. Playing with random Disney toys. Cartoons. Change Ava's diaper. She's kind of a poop factory these days. Maybe a bath, if the ladies are looking grubby. Pajamas. Bed.

We did manage to break free yesterday to watch Kung Fu Panda 2. I'm a rebel without a cause and brought my own candy. A bag of Cookies and Cream Hershey's Kisses and Sour Patch Watermelons. As strong as my love of said watermelons is, it's not strong enough to pay $7.99 a pound. Then I somehow managed to buy myself something with some leftover financial aid money, before spending the rest on useless crap and stuff my kids didn't need.

The fun of the day was jeopardized when Alana put us in a hostage situation with Mermaid Dora at Toys R Us. She refused to settle for one toy. We refused to buy both. Negotiations were made. She wouldn't budge. She kept asking. And asking. She left the store with zero toys. Buckling her into the car was quite a dramatic scene, involving tears, sweat and pleading, from all parties. At one point I wanted to leave her and David at Toys R Us to work through it, but neither of them would have compromised and they would've eventually ended up just living there, forever locked in a no-deal situation.

Sometimes I think it would just be easier to give her what she wants. Give my little bank robber one million dollars and a helicopter to escape. But that would definitely send her the wrong message. I cannot negotiate with terrorists, or they will start to think I'm going to give in to all of their demands.

Tomorrow is Monday, and that means starting the whole routine over again. Dinner planning has become the bane of my existence. I'm tired of chicken. I'm tired of trying to talk my stubborn and dramatic child into things that she will never do. I'm tired of Wow Wow Wubbzy.

I need a nap. I'm grouchy and short on patience. I miss naps. They are a distant memory. I'd like a nap, where I can dream of wearing my new cute shoes, that my children are obsessed with, to lots of fun places. Places where the air conditioner is on full blast, and someone brings me a giant chocolate ice cream cone. Like at Jason's Deli, where they have free ice cream cones, all the time, and delicious club sandwiches with avocado. Or maybe I'll just wear them outside while my kids play in the sprinkler in their cute new bathing suits. Bathing suit wedgies on little girls are one of my favorite things, and just might help me remember how much I love these little monsters.

Some sexy one-shoulder bathing suit action going on here. And sprinkler running. Always some sprinkler running.