more than a MOMMY

Pregnant Enough

2012-02-10T19:58:00.000-08:00

There is a point in pregnancy when you do not appear pregnant to the outside world. You know you're pregnant, and that there is a reason that you're buying Sour Patch Watermelons, Hostess cupcakes and Ben & Jerry's all in one purchase, with nothing else. There is a logical reason for it. Don't look at me funny judgmental Walmart cashier!

Then there is a point that you start to look pregnant, which happens earlier and earlier with each baby, so that when you're having baby number 3, like myself, you look pregnant way earlier than you ever have. For awhile it just looks like you've been eating too many doughnuts. There is something there, but its not pronounced enough for people to assume its a growing baby, they instead think that its a growing gut.

When I was pregnant with Alana I did not look pregnant with clothes on anyway until I was about 22 weeks. Then with Ava it was probably 20. Now with this one I look pregnant, and I have for a couple of weeks. Towards the end of the day I look more and more pregnant. Its crazy.

I'm pregnant enough that strangers can tell from one look that I'm pregnant.

I'm pregnant enough that I'm starting to field the questions of When are you due? Do you know what you're having? from people that I don't know.

I'm pregnant enough that I don't care for standing for long periods of time, cause its just not comfortable.

I'm pregnant enough that sleeping on my stomach is kind of awkward. Not impossible yet, but still weird.

I'm pregnant enough that on Thursday we will know what we are having. Blue or pink. X or y. Boy or girl.

I'm pregnant enough that my belly works as a handy shelf for holding two year olds.

Creatures of Habit

2012-02-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

I am a creature of habit. I do the same things, every single day. Nearly. I shop for groceries on weekday mornings. I eat the same thing for breakfast all the time until I'm sick of it. And the same goes for every other meal. Especially when I'm pregnant. Cause when you find a food that tastes good and doesn't make you sick you become loyal to it. For awhile I ate a bagel sandwich with ham and cream cheese everyday. Well like half of the sandwich then I gave the rest to my kids. Then I got tired of it. So my new addiction became baked oven fries. Just potatoes that I cut into wedges and baked with olive oil and salt. Then dipped into ranch. Then ate in large quantities. I think we've gone through 25 pounds of potatoes in the last month or so. I can't help it, they are delicious.

I see the same qualities of routine in my children. They like to do the same things everyday. They insist on it actually. Ava makes us all watch the Winnie the Pooh movie a lot, so we all know the songs. Then she asks for her hair in pigtails, cause it makes her look good. She does look pretty cute.

Alana likes to play with my straws like they're wands, avoid getting her hair brushed at most times, and dress up like Dorothy constantly. Over her pajamas. But she is still pretty.

And they both like to pose for endless amounts of pictures. And smile like crazy.

Routine Plus Fun

2012-02-02T09:25:00.000-08:00

Right now life mostly consists of biology homework. I've even studied as part of my whole making an effort this time thing. And playing with my ladies. And picking couch cushions up off of the floor, cause making them into a boat is considered the funnest thing ever. I also obsessively check the status of our tax refund, because I won't be trust that we're getting it until its deposited in our bank account. And they won't give me a date on when that will be, just a range saying before this day, unless there is a delay. So annoying.

~~Dorothy~~ Alana and Ava. Ava is obsessed with watching the Winnie the Pooh movie daily, and Alana, well she's obsessed with the Wizard of Oz. The problem is we don't have it on DVD, so as a substitute she watches The Fresh Beat Band Wizard of Song. Just like the Wizard of Oz, except painful to watch and annoying. This obsession includes wearing a Dorothy dress every day, which she puts on first thing in the morning over her pajamas. Then her hair must be put up into pigtails, just like Dorothy. And Ava is forced into being the scarecrow, and I'm a witch, sometimes good and sometimes wicked. Lots of skipping is involved.

Other than our normal routine, we actually left our house and went to the zoo. Apparently everyone else in Arizona had the same idea, cause it was all crowded. I remembered why we usually go on a weekday afternoon and not on a Saturday. We had to park like 3 parking lots away. But it was fun and worth it. And there is a reason I'm only in a couple of pictures. David was all like Take my picture. Take another one. I need a new facebook pic. Take another one. Then he took 2 crappy pictures of me where the sun is shing on me awkwardly and both girls aren't looking and then some random little kid crashed the picture with her giant head. So I resumed my role behind the lens and we looked at some otters and giraffes. The end. Until we added a trip to Golf and Stuff, where my kids are not tall enough to ride any of the rides, although Alana is tall enough to ride everything at Disneyland. That's weird to me. So we played 1,000 video games, then went home. The actual end.

I think Ava inherited the need to be photographed from David. She kept asking for her picture to be taken with her baby she brought in that I had to carry. She can't help it if she's so popular.

It's Not About the Pants

2012-01-27T15:48:00.000-08:00

My old non-maternity pants? They still fit. I can even button them. But are they particularly comfortable? Not even. They're fine when I'm standing, but at the end of the day, after I've eaten anything, when I want to sit down, the button must come undone. So an inevitable milestone has been reached for me at 17 weeks pregnant: maternity pants. It's not even the pants that really mean anything, it's just that they symbolize a belly that won't stop growing, real physical proof that someone is in there.

With Alana I was so anti-belly panel it wasn't funny. So I bought low rise maternity jeans, or adjustable waist. These are good options if you like your pants to fall down and your butt crack to hang out, or if you like the inseam buttons to dig into your bony hips. It wasn't until I had Ava, and Motherhood invented Secret Fit maternity pants, that I realized the error of my ways. A panel, at least with the super stretchy and comfy secret fit panel, was actually comfortable. Alas, a miracle! My pants stay up! I can eat and not have to unbutton anything! They can be worn in the awkward squishy postpartum phase when any type of pants give you a muffintop that doesn't exist without them. Don't get me wrong, I hate maternity clothes. I wear my regular shirts 90% of the time, because the frump that haunts the maternity section doesn't really do it for me. But the time has come for this final pregnancy when I will no longer wear my normal jeans. So American Eagle jeggings that I love so much? See you next winter.

And now, proof of my ever expanding belly. Its my third kid, my abs aren't even putting up a fight. And I realize I look like an idiot in these pictures, but I was home alone with my tripod and my camera, so awkward self-timer shots it was. At least you'll have some good laughs.

I'm Not Feeling Monumental

2012-01-24T20:10:00.000-08:00

Glancing at my blog list I realized I had 499 posts under my belt. That is a ginormous number. Number 500 should be big, but I'm not feeling it. I'm tired and pregnant and every spare second I have is spent doing homework or playing with my girls, mostly cause Alana requests my presence at playtime constantly. Wanna play with me in my woom? Sure, just don't boss me around too much. I have no idea where she got that from.

So instead of a wordy post you can now look at what I spend my days occupied with. Cute ladies. Enjoy.

The Exception to the Rule

2012-01-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

The only time I don't mind being kicked by my children is when its from the inside. I just felt a few little kicks/punches and they are much different than when Ava kicks me when she is asleep. They are just a little reminder of my growing belly, that there is actually a person in there. I'm sure my ladies will be just as excited when they too can feel someone kicking at them from in my belly. As long as this one stays out of my ribs, unlike Ava, then we should be okay.

Before I Start High-Fiving Myself

2012-01-19T08:11:00.000-08:00

I love Turbo Tax. It takes the guess work out of doing your taxes. Its cheap. Its easy. But its not idiot proof. Or pregnant woman brain proof. I've demonstrated that twice now. My downfall is the whole personal information section. I double and triple-check all my numbers and everything, but I can't seem to get my own name right. Yeah, my own name. Or my kids.

When I was pregnant with Ava I entered my own last name as my middle name instead, so my return was rejected and I had to fix it. This year I mispelled Alana's last name, so my return was sent back to me this morning. They get all preachy like This name does not match the social security number we have on file. And I'm all like What? I double and triple-checked everyone's social security number! Cause I did. And this year I double-checked my own name. But I didn't double check that I added the necessary "i" into the spelling of Alana's last name. Whoops.

So I found myself fixing a dumb mistake, then re-efiling and crossing my fingers that I fixed it and they still refund our money on the day I'm hoping for. Before I start spending that money in my head I should check my spelling, cause I'm prone to dumb obvious mistakes. And I'm gonna blame my pregnancy brain, cause last year I wasn't pregnant, and I did nothing stupid on my tax returns. Coincidence? I think not.

The Post Where I Ramble on Forever

2012-01-13T13:10:00.000-08:00

My ladies keep life interesting. Ava goes without pants 90% of the time, but that is okay because she is potty trained. Until a couple of days ago she had a toilet aversion, but I was too lazy to keep trying to get her to use it. Then with some unsolicited encouragement from Alana, Ava suddenly became all about the toilet and discarded the potty. Alana is mostly responsible for the whole potty training mentality in Ava's brain, because Ava only wanted to do it because her sister did it. The only hurdle left to tackle is that she hasn't used a public toilet yet, so we'll see how that goes.

Alana spends most of her time right now playing, or watching The Rescuers Down Under, cause she is obsessed with it. We don't have it on DVD, but the Disney channel plays old movies all the time and we have DVR, so I record them and she watches them incessantly. There is also some iPod singing along going on with her, and if I hear the stupid Party Rock Anthem one more time I'm buying earplugs. Alana was a little lonely the last couple of days, because Ava had the stomach flu and spent most of her time passed out on the couch. This meant I had to put in a few extra hours of being bossed around while playing My Little Pony, but Alana wanted to play with her mommy so how could I say no. Ava is better today, so they're playing mostly nicely together and don't want my input on their game of fake cooking/barbies/babies/la la loopsy guys.

Time is going fast, probably because I have less than a week left of my Christmas vacation. I'm retaking the same biology class I got a C in last semester, and the class that immediately follows it which is taught by the same teacher. Its not too labor intensive with homework, but I need to study more and actually exert effort this time to get an A or a B. Both classes are only 8 weeks, back to back, then I'm done till next fall cause my mid-summer due date won't really give me time for summer school. David is also taking two classes, and one of them is 8 weeks, so halfway through the semester he will only have one class left. He isn't taking science classes though, so they're easy and require little effort. Lucky him.

The big looming thing in our house though is of course the next baby. My kids are obsessed. They squeal at the sight of other babies, so of course they're happy to get one of their own. My belly is growing. My abs have decided that since they know what's coming, this being the third time around for them and they're old pros, they're just gonna wave the white flag of surrender now. They're like Listen lady, you're on your own. I don't care if you're not quite 16 weeks, your belly is gonna start to poke out a little bit now. Ha ha. Despite weight loss, my belly still protrudes at the end of the day. No skirting around it. I'm gonna be wearing maternity pants much sooner this time around. It doesn't matter that at nearly 4 months I still wear all my regular jeans, my abs can't hold out much longer. At the beginning of the day I look mostly normal, but at the end, after a couple bowls of frosted flakes, I look a little more pregnant.

I have various theories on pregnancy amnesia, because if we really accurately remembered what it feels like at the beginning of pregnancy we probably wouldn't do it repeat times. Nausea and all that aren't things most people enjoy, yet we subject ourselves to them multiple times, because at the end we get a cute little baby to hold. Until that baby is 5 and says I know all sarcastically after everything you tell her. Then you question things a little. I now have another theory on pregnancy amnesia: men get it too. If husbands really remembered how.......let's say high maintenance pregnant women can be, they would probably all go out and get vasectomies after the first kid. But they too see the perfect little baby with tiny fingers and toes, and they're struck with a sense of Lets have another! before they know what's happening. I can admit that I'm a little well, bitchy, sometimes. I got mad last week cause I didn't like David's suggestion about what kind of car we should get next. Like, seriously mad. And he didn't just back down and surrender his opinion, which is what any man with a pregnant wife who isn't suicidal would do. He said nothing. The nerve of some people. I still think his opinion was stupid. I'm pregnant, therefore always right. All husbands could benefit from learning to just surrender in any argument with a pregnant person. Logic has no place here people.

Symptom wise, I'm not too shabby. I lost a couple of pounds, but gained a couple of inches. I'm anemic, which was no surprise, but getting myself to actually swallow the iron pills is an uphill battle. They taste gross, and my gag reflex is crazy right now. I also have a repeat of an annoying condition I had with Ava. Thrombocytopenia. Complicated name for low platelets. All it really means right now is I have to have blood drawn in between every. single. doctor. visit. And if it is severe enough come delivery day, no epidural. That was my biggest concern with Ava and I barely made it. Yikes! If that is the only thing that I have to deal with then I consider myself lucky. Until I'm having contractions.

My morning sickness, which is not accurately named, has mostly subsided. My instant ravenous hunger has mostly subsided too. I don't need to eat as often, and I don't get really sick if I get hungry. Food aversions continue, but they're mostly red meat based. And I've discovered in some cases that if I'm not the one cooking the nasty red meat that I can eat it. But I'm not gonna cook it. Gross. I'm more averse to gross smells than anything. My kids are both potty trained, but still require some assistance in the wiping department. I dry heave everytime. Its very unattractive. Also causing gagging: scented candles, the laundry soap aisle at the grocery store, olives, canned raviolis, cold gross leftovers when cleaning the fridge, and the smell of things cooking in the crockpot (roast beef, yuck!) or even the oven (teriyaki wings, sick!).

My ladies accompanied me to my last drs appointment, which was exciting for them. I like them to be involved, and Alana went to every visit when I was pregnant with Ava. They heard the heartbeat, which they thought was cool, but I think the real highlights for them were going to a park with giant jungle gyms in Tucson and then to Dairy Queen. Dairy Queen was a highlight for me too. At my next appointment I'll be 19 weeks, so an ultrasound revealing need to know things will be scheduled after that. That is a highly anticipated event in each pregnancy, because it answers a big question: boy or girl. I must know! Alana's vote is that its a boy, and most people seem to agree. For the first time ever I don't actually have a preference. I already have 2 girls that I love and another would be great, but a boy would be just as cool and I wouldn't have to brush his hair every morning. Girls are high maintenance sometimes. At least if I don't want them to look homeless.

I'm excited for the next six months, but I'm in no hurry to speed up time. I love sleep and both of my girls do too, that's why we all sleep till 8 am everyday. And right after this next baby, which I'm officially declaring to be the final one. I'm washing my hands of this whole reproduction thing after this. Finished. Three seems like a good number, and it means I don't need a minivan. Also after this baby: Alana goes to kindergarten. A whole new scary chapter is coming up for us in 2012, and it involves getting up early and actually leaving my house before 8 am. Time is free to go slowly, that's for sure.

I'm Fine with My Old Beginnings

2012-01-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

Its a new year. Well, like two weeks in. Most people make resolutions, because there are things about themself that they want to improve, or change, or sweep under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist. Time to eat healthy! Time to exercise! Time to be nicer to people! Time to get my finances in order! Those are all great and I'm sure everyone has good intentions, but realistically by the time February rolls around everyone will be back to normal.

February, the month when no one cares anymore. You can once again eat decadent desserts and drink soda and cuss at other drivers with your kids in the car. Carpe diem! February is the month where everyone looks like a hypocrite for even making a new year's resolution in the first place. Or March, for the really strong willed people.

That is why I don't even bother. Resolutions are for people who want to change, and I'm great the way I am. I could probably be a tad more patient, but I'm pregnant, so my hormones are mostly in charge right now and they say HURRY UP PEOPLE! I'm not going on a diet, cause I love oatmeal cookies, they're great for breakfast and have lots of fiber! I'm not starting some vigorous exercise routine, cause Hello people I'm 15 weeks pregnant, and not about to get any skinnier before July. My abs aren't going in the 6-pack direction, unless your definition of that is someone who just drank a 6-pack.

I'm not making drastic changes in 2012, cause I like my life. Its fine the way it is and I would probably quit before February just like everyone else anyway.

This is Probably How Octomom Got Started

2012-01-10T15:21:00.000-08:00

Ava's baby obsession has reached a new level. She now needs several at a time to keep her occupied. And they must be swaddled, cause it soothes them.

In Hindsight This Post is Depressing

2012-01-07T11:17:00.000-08:00

The day before we went to Disneyland was one of big plans for me and David. A much anticipated event, for David, was scheduled for that day. Cowboys vs. Cardinals. Here in AZ. And we had tickets. Expensive 4th row tickets. It was set up to be a fun day.

Except that they kept the stadium roof open, so I was freezing the whole time. There was also this creepy fog for at least the first 100 miles, so we had to drive really slow, and you couldn't even see the mountains, which was disorienting. And the lens guidelines online were wrong so I didn't bring a zoom lens, which would've been awesome given our 4th row seats. And then there was the end of the game. The loss in overtime, which was disappointing to say the least. In our pictures we look all happy, because it was before the game. But afterward, my poor husband was mad. That was the second time in a row that has happened. We go all the way to Phoenix to watch his beloved Cowboys, then they lose at the last second. Crap.

The loss was one thing, but then we had to go get on the shuttle back to the parking lot 3 miles away, and the line is long and filled with hecklers. After every game there is a winner and a loser, and the thing about rooting for the team that lost is that all of the fair weather fans come out to talk crap about the Cowboys. Pissed off Cowboys fans outnumbered the Cardinals fans, even though it was in Arizona, but that doesn't stop dumb drunk fans of a team that has never won a Super Bowl from talking crap.

After our long trip back to our car, then the wait to battle traffic to get out of the parking lot, we missed the turn cause we couldn't get over and had to make an illegal u-turn in a random parking lot. Then cause everyone wants back on the freeway it takes about 30 minutes to get 5 miles on the highway. So we could drive 150 miles back home, so we could drive back in that direction the next day to go to Disneyland. Would've been easier to bear if there had been a Cowboys victory, but fate was not on David's side this year. His football season is over and he has to wait till next year. That won't stop him from wearing Cowboys stuff though, that never changes.

Crappy loss aside, there were a handful of fun moments that day that made it bearable. We got there way before the shuttles were running, and its a long walk to the stadium, so we took a pedicab. That was fun, but that poor guy had to be tired at the end of the day from pulling people behind his bike who didn't want to walk. We had a delicious bag of peanuts, which we made a huge mess with. David make have even accidentally spit some into a person's hair in front of us, but no one can prove anything. We also had some pizza, which was nice and warm and actually kept me warm for awhile. And David had fun. Up until the end.

The Cowboys don't come to AZ next year, so he has a year to recover from the heartbreak. Until then, we'll watch the games on TV, where the only hecklers are all of his friends texting him and talking crap.

He still looks happy and excited. This is before the game.

Various Cowboys players. I wish I'd had my zoom lens, we were so close.

Also before the game, when we were blissfully unaware of the outcome.

So close to the field. There are my stupid football earrings too.

Just a small portion of the giant mess we made with peanut shells. I kicked most of them under other people's seats, but I was left with a few cause we ate so many.

And Then There Was Christmas. And 1,000 Barbies.

2012-01-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

To say that David goes overboard when it comes to Christmas is a crazy understatement. Alana's first Christmas the presents were piled up practically to the ceiling. Not kidding.

See? Those are just for her. He may have toned it down a little in the past five years, but we still have a lot of presents under our tree. We were done with our shopping. Then we went to Disneyland, where our girls got toys for then, plus a couple of things that David saved till Christmas. Then when we got back we went to Target and ended up getting them each about 2 toys. Then we went to Walmart, where we saw a bike for Alana that we couldn't pass up, so Ava had to get one too. So excessive is the best word to describe our Christmas each year.

This year we did our usual pre-Christmas with my mom. One Barbie each. Then Christmas Eve, 2 Barbies each. And a creepy Bratz doll that scares me. And a massive dollhouse, perfect for putting Barbies in. They like to use both the elevator and the toilet. Who knew? Then Christmas day. Santa just brought the bikes, which for future reference I now know not to assemble a tricycle at nine thirty on Christmas Eve. But Daddy, he is way more generous than Santa. Each girl got a Barbie, of course, but then we got Beast/the prince from Beauty and the Beast (he can be both, depending on his mask), Pocahontas, and wedding Ariel. Plus they got La La Loopsy dolls, shake and go Cars, playdoh, My Little Ponies, Pet shop guys, a Leap Frog laptop, and pretty much every possible toy. Then we went to my parent's house. That meant one more Barbie for Alana, and the much coveted La La Loopsy treehouse. Seriously, she has wanted that toy forever, she is spoiled by her Aunt Moe. Ava got a cute stuffed La La Loopsy too, which she loved, and they both got new purses and tons of new jewelry that surprisingly all made it home and didn't get lost. A Christmas miracle.

David and I got our standard stuff we picked out for ourselves. I got a new lens. He got a Cowboys sweater. And hats. And everyone got a bunch of candy in their stocking, which we still have a lot of. I'm kind of tired of it, and I didn't really eat that much of it. I don't care for Pez either, so there's no temptation there.

Then we ate turkey. And m&m smores bars. And Alana carried the car around. Then we came home and I made excuses as to why I couldn't open every Barbie they got. My hands were tired.

I enjoyed this Christmas, which was our last one with just two kids. That very thought is scary and makes me sad cause I've really loved just having my two ladies, but my belly is growing and that kid isn't staying in there till after next Christmas. This was a good year, and both my girls were big enough to open everything on their own, which was a first, and the last time I don't have to open stuff for a couple of years.

The bittersweet feeling left at the end of Christmas day has always left me feeling a little sad. All that build up, all those Christmas shows on our DVR that will get erased after countless viewings, all that sad ripped up wrapping paper, the huge pile of toy boxes that I will be getting rid of well into January, and the knowledge that all those pretty decorations are coming down in a couple days, they always leave me feeling bummed out. I get over it quick though, by New Years I'm normal, the tree is down and my living room looks all bare again with the color of the Christmas lights. So till next year Christmas, farewell.

Christmas baby and her jammies.

Awkward timer shot. I need a remote so I don't have to run to get in the picture.

Christmas jammie girls.

Christmas Eve. Alana talked me into letting her wear lip stain. She looks old. I don't like it. She also managed some time with the flat iron in there too, her hair looks so different.

A few of her gifts.

You can tell Ava's feelings about a present, cause her face gets all crazy.

One obligatory present picture for each of us.

New bikes. Alana will probably have her training wheels on till she is like 8, just like me.

Disney Wrap Up

2012-01-04T09:59:00.000-08:00

It has now been almost a month since we went on vacation, and my initial momentum/post vacation energy has worn off. I feel the same way about Christmas. I should eventually blog about it, but I really don't feel like it. So today Disneyland won out over Christmas, since it was longer ago and interest in it is waning. I blogged about it more than once, but there is still a few things left to say. Listing them seems the most efficient/least amount of work. So here you go:

Alana was my brave girl and went on lots of new rides that she was tall enough for, including Splash Mountain. She got so wet that I had to change her entire outfit, but for some reason I didn't have extra socks or underwear for her so she went commando till we went back to our room later.
Ava was so much better this time than in February. She loved every minute of Disneyland and kept me company when Alana and David went on rides without us.
I still find it crazy that people line up to watch the parade 3 hours before it starts. That's kind of excessive.
The entryway to California Adventure is so torn up and unrecognizable that I'm glad the construction should be finally done before we go back again. Walking all the way around through a service corridor is a pain in the butt.
I don't care if its sixty degrees outside, I still love soft serve chocolate vanilla swirl cones. They are a good dessert after a big bowl of clam chowder. I love Disneyland food.
Ava was hesitant about the characters at first, but she came around. No tears this time. It helped that her big sister was so brave.
Best Western right across the street was not only a better deal than the Disneyland hotels we stayed in the last two years, it had free parking and was a shorter walk. Its right at the crosswalk by the shuttle station, which was way shorter than walking all the way through Downtown Disney to get to the Disneyland hotel. And the room was bigger. And had better water pressure. And we parked right in front of our room, for free. No $20 a night to park half a mile away. We will stay there again.
If your 2 year old throws up on the way there, wash her clothes immediately. If you leave them the whole week in a bag and pretend they don't exist, they will be ruined. Now I know.
I hate paying a ton for a bottle of water, but that didn't keep me from forgetting extra waters almost every time we went into the park.
The Christmas parade is awesome and worth watching. Still wish I had gotten to watch the fireworks from inside the park, instead of in front of Denny's by our hotel RIGHT after we left.
A sit and stand stroller containing a 5 and 2 year old is heavy. And hard to push. Especially through tight spaces. That's what strong husbands are for. They will also hold your bag sometimes if you carry a messenger bag rather than a purse.
Get in line to see the fairies right when Pixie Hollow opens, cause that line can take forever. It may look short, but its not. We went there right at 9 when it opened and there was only one person in front of us. It was such a short wait!
Disneyland is far from restful, but its fun and magical to see through your children's eyes, and will make you feel like a kid again. Every time, without fail.

Now, the rest (mostly), of our pictures.

Food is the best way to occupy kids while waiting for a parade. Popcorn and cotton candy work for us!

Alana loves the Minnie Breakfast, hugs for everyone. Ava was less convinced.

We always have to ride the carousel. Always.

Dug and Jake. Ava was getting braver! She had just met them and she loved them.

More hugs from characters.

Flynn's smolder could use more work. He sort of looks crazy or something. But Rapunzel is a big favorite, so we had to see her, of course.

Spoiled Christmas Girls

2011-12-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

Someday I will get around to blogging about Christmas. I've removed all signs of it from my house, except for the 1,000 toys that I now have to find a place for. I took down the tree and the decorations, then assembled the giant dollhouse that the girls got from David's parents, and that one toy alone took up more of my time (3 hours!) than any other task this week. Now I'm tired, my shoulder/back hurts from the huge task of dollhouse assembly, and I have to go get blood drawn for pregnancy lab work, and I've put that off for like a month. So I will leave you with one Christmas picture, of my cute spoiled children, then possible before the end of 2011 I will blog about Christmas and the rest of Disneyland. Maybe.

Our Stockings Are Hung and Our Cookies Are Frosted

2011-12-23T15:43:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of Christmas I've made far too many baked goods containing butter the past two days. Even some almond roca that I will never make again because the toffee recipe pissed me off so much. If you say to cook something for exactly 12 minutes it should'nt be burnt at 9 minutes. I'm stubborn enough that I retried the same exact recipe, wasting 2 more sticks of butter, which also was a failure. The third try I made my failsafe old toffee recipe that I've made before, sometime in between yelling at David to get out of the kitchen for criticizing the size of the chopped almonds.

Luckily for me every other recipe since then has turned out okay, including a lemon meringue pie, broccoli and cheese soup, double chocolate m&m cookies, rice krispy treats and white chocolate cookies. If any of those had sucked I would've thrown in the towel on holiday baking, and just blamed my absent minded pregnancy brain. We've made other pre-holiday treats too, like peanut butter-chocolate fudge, gingerbread cookies, and sugar cookies. All have treated us well. My kids especially like the frosting, which is eaten in large amounts. Alana's motto is If it doesn't turn your teeth green, its not worth eating.

Merry Christmas everybody! I hope no one eats as many cookies as me, for your sake!

Gross green teeth, but a cute smile.

Alana liked the decorating, Ava liked the eating.

She is invisible behind her magical cookie cutters.

Ava is reflecting on 2011 and the meaning of Christmas.

Doppelganger

2011-12-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

I have a dilemma whenever I watch the Disney Jr show Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I cannot keep myself from wondering how they possibly cast Duff Goldman to sing their opening song.

Pretty cute show, if you like pirates and such. Needs more dubloons.

That's Duff on the left, with his matey.

I swear that's the same guy.

I don't think its an eerie coincidence. I think that Duff takes time out of his busy cake making life to make corny pirate music videos for a show on the Disney channel. True story. You've seen the evidence.

Disney at Christmas Time

2011-12-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

Not sure if my name is supposed to be on naughty or nice list, its kind of misleading.

Santa, then Mrs. Claus. Ava liked the Mrs. better.

California Adventure tree.

Alana loves her some Santa.

Santa left his sleigh here for us to take a picture in. How nice of him.

Second Santa. Hope no one was suspicious that he clearly looked different.

One of the reasons that we wanted to go to Disneyland in December this year, even though we just went in February, was that we wanted to see the Christmas decorations. And Santa. Twice. They did not disappoint, especially at night. Main street and its giant tree, Its a Small World, and the awesome parade were all really cool. And the girls loved seeing Santa, both in Disneyland with his reindeer, and in California Adventure without.

The parade was the coolest Christmas aspect by far, even if we had to wait forever to save our spot to watch it. The start time was 5:30, but when we came out onto Main Street 3 hours before it started there were already people lining up and saving benches to watch it. Crazy! I don't mind if there's an actual person waiting, but some people were just putting blankets on the curb with their stuff and leaving it, like that bought them dibs on that spot. I don't think so, that's bull! We wandered up to the circle area by the train station where it wasn't as crowded, and about 2 hours before the parade started grabbed a bench and claimed our spot. Realistically, with a 5 and 2 year old, sitting on a bench doing nothing for 2 hours isn't possible. So we wandered around in shifts. David and Alana, then me and Ava. We each went and got food with our respective kid, then came back to our bench. About 45 minutes before the parade, some Disney cast members asked me to get up so they could move the bench forward towards the curb. While I was standing next to it and they were moving it some other people came and tried to sit in it. No way people! I've been sitting there for almost 2 hours, you are not stealing my bench! I had to kick them off of it, but I don't care. You can't swoop in right before the parade and expect a bench! Our bench ended up being perfect, because it got moved to right by the curb, so we sat in it instead of on the ground during the whole parade. And thanks to cotton candy for Alana and popcorn for Ava, they both waited patiently and the parade and all of its lights was totally worth it.

I wanted to watch the fireworks, which I'm still mad about, because everyone else wanted to leave. So we watched them from the Denny's next to our hotel right across the street, while we waited for our to-go order. Other than that, everything else we did was standard Disneyland stuff, nothing too Christmasy. But it was worth it to go that one time just to see, and they made it snow when lighting the castle up at night, which was pretty awesome. Awesome and really crowded, cause snow is a big draw.

Crazy tall Main St tree.

The castle looked way cooler at night, but it was still pretty shiny.

The $50,000 Question

2011-12-15T10:26:00.000-08:00

There is one burning question that consistently plagues the first trimester of every pregnancy: How are you feeling? Its not that the question itself is annoying, its just that I don't know if its always sincere. I don't necessarily think that every. single. person. who asks that question really wants to know the real answer. Telling everyone that asks exactly how you feel during the beginning of pregnancy is more likely to come across as whining than honestly answering a question.

If I told everyone that I feel nauseous, that I can't eat red meat, that the smell of ramen makes me dry heave, they would look back at me with glassy eyes, regretful that they had even asked in the first place. That's why a standard I'm fine or even a vague reference to Why is it called morning sickness, its not just in the morning? are my standard go-to answers. I don't want to seem like a whiner, and people who are just trying to be polite don't want to hear my real honest answer.

Of course, How are you feeling? is not the only question that is frequently asked when you're pregnant. Its just the first one. That question is reserved for people who know you are pregnant, because you still look mostly normal. Unless its your third pregnancy and your ab muscles have thrown in the towel already, so at the end of the day after you've eaten a bunch, you already look pregnant. Once you are clearly visibly pregnant, not just mistaken for someone who has eaten a few dozen too many doughnuts, then there are other questions. These questions come from everyone, not just people you know. Everyone will ask you 2 things: When are you due? and What are you having? I suggest wearing some type of nametag with this information on it, but that will not stop the questions because people are not observant enough to always notice what is right in front of them.

And just for general public knowledge, so no one needs to ask me how I'm feeling, I'm fine. As long as I eat really often, which is kind of annoying, then I'm fine. And you can still ask me in person, but that is the answer you will get. Cause you probably don't want to know any more details for that, just for your own personal well-being.

Queen and the Princesses

2011-12-14T14:44:00.000-08:00

Princesses are so exciting, its almost hard to smile. For Ava anyway

Meeting Ariel is serious business

Ava is all business with her waffles and Alana is the same with her stickers

Queen!

Every year at Disneyland we have a can't miss breakfast date with the princesses. Its my favorite meal because its all you can eat, the food is awesome, and they bring it to you instead of like the other character meals where its a buffet. And the best part: the princesses come around to your table to meet you. My kids are all business when there are no princesses, especially Ava. No attention was diverted from her waffles. But when that glamorous princess would get there, they were so excited. They hugged each one, then turned so nicely to pose for a picture. Ava made a different weird smile each time, but Alana is an old pro and smiled sweetly with each princess. That breakfast is usually the most anticipated event of our trip, by all of us.

At some point in the last two weeks, prior to Disneyland, Ava developed a new Disney related obsession. Lightning McQueen. Its not because she watches Cars a lot and has seen him in that so much that she loves McQueen. No. She's a more complicated woman than that. Its because of Cheez-Its. Cheesy crackers with little pictures of Lightning McQueen on them. They are the source of her obsession. She loves him so much that she squeals Queen! whenever she sees him, or eats a Cheez-It. She even got a stuffed Queen to take home, which she carries around and gives kisses. And of course she had to pose by him, and give the actual car a big hug, cause cars can feel love.

These crazy girls really love princesses and Queen, and this concludes part 2 of my Disneyland novel.

Some Sprinkling of Disney

2011-12-13T20:41:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna make this part one of an undetermined number of posts on Disneyland. Its one of those subjects where there is so much to talk about, its nearly overwhelming. I need to write it down, mostly for my own sake, cause I want to remember how much fun we had.

Last trip we took was in February, when Ava was just 18 months. If there is any Disney advice I can give to people its this: do not take an 18 month old to Disneyland. They are impatient, probably scared of the characters, can't really talk yet, don't usually want to ride in a stroller and in Ava's case will not sit in a high chair, or their own chair, for any meal. I've done it with both my kids, and I don't recommend it. Its an awkward age between 1 and 2 where they want to be big, but are still babies. You don't even have any idea how much of a difference waiting till they're 2 makes. Its a lot. I took Ava when she was 6 months old and she was a dream, but at 18 months she was less desirable. At 2 though, she was so much better. A different kid. She waited in line patiently, never cried, sat in the stroller everywhere that we walked, sat in her own seat the whole meal at every restaurant, only threw up once in the car (that's an achievement, seriously), picked out one toy nicely when she got to get something, and slept like a rock every night.

Alana is an avid fan of the characters. Like, hugs them and wants to spend large amounts of time with them. They are her long lost friends, and she loves them more than cookies. Ava was hesitant at first, but came around and hugged them and high-fived them and even got in pictures without me holding her. They were all about the characters. We even managed to sneak in tons of family pictures since the characters always have a Disney cast member by them who is willing to snap a pic, and who I mostly trust with my camera.

We went on tons of rides as a family, but the ones with a height restriction were mostly enjoyed by Alana and David. They went on Goofy's Sky School (a roller coaster), Splash Mountain (where Alana got so soaked I had to change her clothes, lucky I had extra), Gadget's Go-Coaster, Big Thunder Mountain, and Star Tours. Ava and I took advantage of the break each time by getting a snack, like a big hot fudge sundae at the Golden Horseshoe, or some messy beignets, or corndogs. Alana and I went on the Silly Symphony Swings, which she was a little scared about but got brave at the top, then Jumping Jellyfish. Ava patiently waited for everyone to get off rides, but she was bribed with goodies while waiting so that helped. As a family we went on Its a Small World, which was slightly less annoying with the Christmas decorations and singing Jingle Bells, David and Ava went on Pirates, where she sang Yo Ho Ho, the girls and I went on the Nemo Sub, we all went on Haunted Mansion, which Alana loved cause of the Nightmare Before Christmas decor, then we went on the standard Buzz Lightyear ride at least twice, both carousels twice, Toy Story Mania twice, the teacups only once, and a couple annoying ones like Alice in Wonderland and Winnie the Pooh. The highlight of the rides though, for the ten year old inside of me and for Alana, was Ariel's Undersea Adventure. This ride is the epitome of all of my Disney related childhood dreams. We went on it twice, and I'm still singing Part of Your World, which in my opinion should've had more time, cause its clearly the best Little Mermaid song. Ask my sister and my cousin Alissa, cause we totally acted it out on the living room floor with pillows standing in as some type of ocean rocks. Part of Your World rules.

Since this has been more of a short novel about Disneyland than a sprinkling, I'm gonna cut myself off now. I've gotta go watch Steven Colbert talk about plagiarism, which I'm hoping is about The Bloggess, so I've gotta run. I'll return later with way more pics and some ranting on about my awesome vacation.

The Biggest Secret in Parenting

2011-12-12T19:49:00.000-08:00

The number one thing that no one will tell you about being a parent is top secret. I could be fined just for thinking about letting the secret out. Its not something sentimental like how you don't realize how much you will love your children until they're born and you hold them and your heart just feels so full. Its not that. And its not something practical that no one tells first time mothers when they're pregnant about how your stomach will still be all squishy and gross after you give birth, it won't just magically go back to being flat the next day. It will actually never look the same again. Unless you're some celebrity or model and magically still look the same after having kids. In that case, I hate you. No, its not one of those types of secrets.

This secret is much more life changing. It will affect you, and scar you, forever. What I'm talking about is the untangling of slinkys. Yes, slinky. Everyone's favorite toy. Its fun for a girl or a boy. But not for me. Because I've spent at least half of my five years as a parent untangling slinkys. Not even exaggerating. We have 3 slinkys at our house, and I've untangled them so many times I've lost count. My fingers are tired just thinking about it.

So here's my advice. You can approach the slinky situation in one of two ways: 1) Buy a minimum of 100, so that when you find yourself with a truly stubborn tangled slinky, you can create a diversion, sneak away to your secret slinky stash, and replace the slinky without your children knowing. Or 2) Enforce a strict no-slinky policy. If this is your choice then beware the prize counter at Peter Piper Pizza, its a slinky trap where they lure children into the presumed endless fun they can have with a slinky and you will forever be enslaved by this cheap plastic toy. A no-slinky policy is daring, but if you really want to avoid the dreaded untangling, then you must go this route. You have no other choice. Your children will thank you later.

In My Head I'm Still on Vacation

2011-12-11T11:58:00.000-08:00

I'm home from Disneyland. I'm tired. I have homework today. Reality is slowing creeping back up, with homework for one more week and vacuuming Funyuns out of the carpet for the rest of my life. But here is a couple of pictures, to demonstrate the insane amount of fun we had. Really, like, insane. More to come.

This concludes our Disneyland sneak peek. Stayed tuned for more pics in the days to come.

Challenge Accepted

2011-12-01T12:56:00.000-08:00

I'm in the home stretch of my second writing class, which has basically been 8 weeks of analyzing short stories and poems, not exactly rocket science. Now I have to write a final paper. And I had to post the subject on the discussion area for everyone else to read. Fine. I did. Now all the haters are doubting my subject.

For those interested or who know anything about poetry, I'm doing my paper about Sylvia Plath's poem "Daddy", which she personally said is not autobiographical. Some of the other students are doubting I can get enough info on that subject, or that I can complete the 1800 minimum word count just writing about that. Hello people, summer semester I wrote 6 full pages about high fructose corn syrup, and I got an A. An 1800 word paper talking about how everyone else is wrong is a walk in the park. I could write 1800 words right now about how I'm right and they're all wrong, but I won't. Cause my keyboard is being stupid. But if it wasn't, they'd better watch out. Stupid people. Telling me something is not possible just makes me want to do it more. Are they all getting an A in this class? Probably not, but its confidential so I don't know. Judging by their papers that I've read they are not. So take that. I'm doing it.

Now That Thanksgiving is Over

2011-11-29T14:56:00.000-08:00

I can stop pretending that our Christmas tree hasn't been up since at least a week before Thanksgiving. And I suppose that I will also acknowledge its presence with the photographic proof. So behold, Christmas tree decorating pictures.

Ava wasn't into the whole kissing idea that Alana had. Or she was playing hard to get.

Alana is an expert tree decorator. If you like your ornaments on the back of the tree.

Ava is a firm believer that if your butt is naked the tree will look better.

My elves after they decorated the tree.

If you like your ornaments at the bottom of the tree then have Ava come to your house. She will also set up a candle light vigil under the tree. For whatever, but lets just say something like The Troops. You pick a cause, she places the candles. And refuses to move them.

Turkey and Pie

2011-11-27T08:14:00.000-08:00

After my annual pre-Thanksgiving bake-a-thon, which wasn't too crazy, just 4 pies and time consuming jello-yogurt stuff, I was ready for the holiday. I was at the peak of my laziness for the week, so I wore an awesome yoga pants/ugg boots combo (pants tucked, in case you were wondering) to get a haircut, made cheese crisps for dinner and called Thanksgiving Eve a day.

Assumingly well rested, on actual Thanksgiving we laid around our house, watched the parade and Toy Story 3, colored, then eventually went to my parent's house at around 1 pm. There I ate my fair share of turkey, but only one piece of pie. Alana also ate plenty of turkey, since she just discovered that she likes it on actual Thanksgiving, and Ava opted for the carb filled plate of mashed potatoes. David watched football, actually admitted that turkey is delicious when properly cooked, took a family picture with us before the game started (a Thanksgiving miracle), then ate some pie and watched the Cowboys win. The girls and I also put together some puzzles with my cousin and aunt, and looked at newspaper fliers although I hate the crowds and refuse to do Black Friday shopping. Then I ate more pie. For breakfast the next day too.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, all of our focus is on the 8 days left till we go to Disneyland. 8 days! My kids were crazy excited to see Santa on TV at the end of the Thanksgiving parade, so if that is any indication of how excited they will be to see him and his reindeer in person during the Disneyland parade we're in for some screaming and loud squeals and plenty of pointing. They're also all happy whenever they see the cheap lighted wreaths hanging from the light poles on the main street where we live, so I can only imagine how exciting Sleeping Beauty's castle all lit up and surrounded by snow will be. 8 days!

Now onto some pictures, even though I'm the laziest person with a dSLR ever and maybe took ten pictures. But they good pictures, so that makes up for it.

She wears Christmas jewelry early to get a head start on festiveness.

Our sunny and 70 degree Thanksgiving.

I made sure to get a pic before they got dirty.

They were hungry!

My pretty festive girls.

At the end of the holiday these ladies are what I'm most thankful for.

I'm Here on Official Business

2011-11-22T15:36:00.000-08:00

After one official doctor's appointment I have an official announcement: my 100% certified official due date is 4th of July. Happy Independence Day to me. I didn't announce anything on Facebook before today, I just posted a link to here, which I guess was a test to see who actually reads my blog. Now its all up on Facebook, but I'm sure I'll still get a few I didn't know you were pregnant!s regarding vague pregnancy related status updates. Not everyone checks their Facebook everyday, or reads blogs, or pays attention to anything going on around them.

That's all the big breaking news I have. Other than that my life consists of avoiding bad smells, like the laundry soap aisle at the grocery store, and not eating even one bite more once I'm full, cause I physically cannot swallow it without gagging and have spit out my share of food in the last two weeks. I'm pretty lucky in the morning sickness department, like I only really get nauseous if I eat something that disagrees with me, like Eegee's ranch fries, carrots or bananas.

Only 13 more days till we go to Disneyland, and I'm hoping that I can eat a lot while we're there, cause the food is the best part. I'm looking forward to it, but also have to do a bunch of writing homework before I go, which I'm not eager to complete. And only 2 days till Thanksgiving, which is exciting, cause I love Thanksgiving. An entire holiday devoted to doing nothing but eating and watching TV, sounds like perfection, and smells like the apple pie that is in my oven right now.

Excellent Strategy

2011-11-17T11:24:00.000-08:00

Alana is five, so she's all grown up and mature and claims to not need naps. Except for the days that are extra tiring, cause you know, your sister is bratty and you've been singing along to your iPod really loud and its just draining, being that cute. On those days, a nap is needed. Her strategy is to fall asleep in a random place in a cute position out of nowhere, so then her mommy must give her extra sleep snuggles and can't resist laying down in the kitchen just to be near her. Advantage: Alana.

It should be noted that she picked out her own clothes that day.

She looks all crazy in this one, I think she even drooled on the carpet.

She fell asleep under my chair while I did homework. Poor mistreated lady.

She always catches me off guard when I find her peacefully sleeping, I have to take a picture so I can remember how innocent she looks, cause it doesn't last long.

All Hail The Turkey Queens

2011-11-15T15:15:00.000-08:00

I'm like a blogging machine this week. All documenting stuff and crap. Someone give me an award or something. Ok, so its mostly pictures, but I take a lot of pictures and not all of them end up on this blog, cause there are a lot.

Today, in an effort to prove to myself that any craft can be made with just construction paper, glue, & scissors, we made some awesome festive crowns. Like, realistic turkeys. Ava wasn't that helpful, but Alana glued her whole crown together herself, and the end result was some Thanksgiving ladies. Also, I don't want Thanksgiving swept under the rug, since my overzealous husband had us put up the Christmas tree yesterday, ten days before Thanksgiving.

Behold, the turkey queens:

Pictures Instead of Lots of Words

2011-11-14T11:29:00.000-08:00

I feel like blogging stuff, but not all the time. Can't gather my thoughts into a reasonable pattern that is easily interpreted by other real life humans. My brain is mushy cause my kids are whiny, so I prefer to look at pictures of them when they aren't whiny, and also pretend that David isn't trying to put up the Christmas tree TODAY, over a week before Thanksgiving. Cute picture of my kids, take me away.

They love dollar store beauty products from Nana. I just love them, not the ugly hair and nails.

Sometimes I Feed My Kids Doughnuts

2011-11-12T17:04:00.000-08:00

I'm a lazy blogger. I'm tired and everything smells weird, but for the sake of staying updated and current and crap, see what I let my kids eat for breakfast. Doughnuts. Delicious, not especially nutritious, but that's why they like them. That's why I like them too, mostly the ones with chocolate frosting.

I think Ava likes doughnuts almost as much as I do, she's very enthusiastic about them.

Coming This Summer

2011-11-08T07:57:00.000-08:00

We like to sandwich birthdays in as small of a window as possible, and in our family we have a mid-June birthday, a very end of June birthday, and a 4th of July birthday. So, just for fun, I thought I'd add one more into that timeframe.

If any previous assumptions you've made so far while reading this post haven't panned out I will confirm one thing: I am pregnant, which I hate announcing this early in my pregnancy but it seems like everyone and their mother already knows, so I may as well. And I'm due July 2nd. I just can't seem to time pregnancies to be in any other time of year but summer, I'm doomed to hot weather with every baby. At least I don't have to buy tons of baby socks in the summer though, cause its all warm and stuff.

So there. Kind of an anti-climactic post, but big news. Did I mention I hate telling people I'm pregnant? I make David do it. I'd rather they just already know, then I don't have to deal with telling anyone. He is the one who wants to tell everyone we know anyone, and insists that its not a secret anymore if I've told my sister, so then we end up mentioning it even though I kind of wanted to wait till Thanksgiving and do something cute, but who am I kidding? I'm way too lazy and have way too much homework to do that. So consider yourself informed.

Shrick or Shreat

2011-11-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

I had two full-fledged trick or treaters this year, or as Alana says, shrick or shreat. Alana was sick for the trunk or treat that we went to, but I don't think we're gonna repeat that one next year. The lines were crazy long, which is one thing, but then we were trapped in the parking lot, along with like 6 other cars, because people parked in an idiotic way, trapping everyone else in. Not really worth the effort.

Trick or treating was a different story. The girls got way too much candy, loved every minute of it, and gladly said thank you to every house. Alana politely said shrick or shreat, but my stubborn Ava refused. She opted for a less traditional route, and instead said Ham! to every person handing out candy. Crazy woman.

Of course my bratty girls looked cute in their costumes, Alana the witch and Ava my little Belle. I made sure to take pics both times we went out, since Alana had green hair one time but not the other, and one time it was already dark out when we left, so I was forced to use the flash. Gasp!

I think I've eaten more of their candy than they have. Although Ava did have a candy eating marathon yesterday, but she doesn't like non-chocolate candy, so she just had Kit Kats and Reeses.

Halloween is definitely funner with little kids to dress up and steal candy from. It seems in Benson most kids don't really stop trick or treating when its age appropriate, cause I saw more teenagers than little kids. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to get a job and buy your own candy. And a short dress and vampire teeth don't count as a costume.

I'll Blog After I Finish Cleaning Up Pumpkin Guts

2011-10-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

This weekend was semi-eventful. We went to see Puss and Boots, which was cute. We went to Target, which I always love. Saturday night we went to a Trunk or Treat, pictures of Halloween costumes soon to come, cause my ladies are dressing up again tonight to Trick or Treat, and hopefully we'll get more candy.

These things were all fun, but they were brought down a little cause Alana was sick. She had some weird virus that just makes you really tired and feverish for like a day, then the next day you feel okay again. I know she really didn't feel good cause we went to Claire's at the mall, and she loves all jewelry, and I said she could get more Halloween accessories, but she opted out. That's proof of a sick Alana. Ava had it last week, but she had the sense not to get sick on a day when we were getting candy and going to the movies. Despite Alana's fatigue, she was still insistent on going places. She didn't start to feel really tired till we were already in Sierra Vista anyway, so by then if we hadn't gone to the movie she would've been sad. So we went to everything, and the movie was fun, cause she didn't have to walk around. But the Trunk or Treat she went to like 3 cars then wanted to sit down, it didn't help that the lines were soooo long. So she sat at my sister's truck while I took Ava around to a couple more, but the lines were super long, and she only has the patience of a two year old, so she didn't end up with much candy. They get a do-over tonight since its actual Halloween, but they don't need tons of candy anyway, and Ava doesn't like any candy that's not chocolate. Alana actually ended up with more candy, cause her cousin Jayden did his good deed for the day and shared some of his with her. Who says chivalry is dead?

Sunday everyone was well, so we carved pumpkins. Well, the girls and I did, cause David had to do important things like watch football/do homework. I don't know how football helps you do homework, but I'm not a man. Alana cleaned out her entire pumpkin herself, she's a champ. Then she and Ava drew faces on them for me to carve. Alana's was a face, with a mustache, Ava's was random two year old drawings, so I carved a cat. After my three pumpkins were carved, I deemed myself a master pumpkin carver and called it a day for Halloween festivities. Now we just have to Trick or Treat and dress up one more time, then we'll call it a year and continue our countdown to Thanksgiving and our Christmas Disneyland trip.

Ava was designing her pumpkin. Its a masterpiece.

Before cutting them open, while Ava would still touch it.

Alana drew a lovely face, then signed her name. She's a genius.

You can barely see Alana's candy corn earrings, she's so festive.

After the pumpkins were "designed" and cleaned, but before they were carved.

I also "baked" some cookies. Delicious.

She's such a good helper, she cleaned out her whole pumpkin herself. Not all those guts came out of her's though, I had a big slimy pumpkin. David took ones of these pics, that's why there's a soda in the background. Wanna Fanta?

My masterpieces.

Nice and Bratty, Just the Way I Like 'Em

2011-10-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

This lady. This lady. She has an attitude. And she knows how to use it. To her advantage. Stubborn and sweet, cute and bratty, she is my lovable and spunky two year old. This bratty attitude lady is mastering a new skill, one that frees her from the sister who speaks for her. Brace yourselves: the brat can talk.

Ava's status as a second born put her a little behind in talking, because Alana is always answering questions for her. Ava do you want a cookie? Alana says yes. Ava do you want to watch Peppa Pig? Alana says yes. Alana is Ava's lawyer, and Ava has the right to remain silent.

The past few weeks though, my lady has found her voice. She says Peppa (as is Peppa Pig), ham, cookie, tea, daddy & mommy (which she has said forever), and a handful of other words. Words that serve a purpose for her. She focuses on foods and TV, so she can always get her way, cause we know what she wants. She walks around yelling HAM! at full volume, and in Subway the other day she probably said ham no less than 30 times. Ham, ham, ham!

Ham is in the top two words, but first place has to go to NO! Not just regular no, no with an attitude. You wanna leave the playground soon? No. You wanna watch something other than Peppa Pig? No, Peppa. Are you bratty? No. All these no answers are followed by a mad face, very intimidating.

Ava's safety net for her bratty NO! is her cute mad face. Although frightening and intimidating, it is cute. Cute isn't her intention, just a side effect. NO! is cute & bratty, but Ava is serious when she says it. She has an opinion! Take her seriously! I can't help but laugh sometimes though, cause NO! is clearly not the right answer, its just the cutest one.

YES I ALWAYS TALK THIS LOUD

2011-10-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

In my family being loud has its own definition. A Kloos Voice. This is anytime when you are speaking loud, especially when its not necessarily socially appropriate. Like my grandpa loudly commenting on the size of Julia Roberts' boobs when watching Erin Brockovich in a movie theater. Her boobs aren't that big in real life! No they aren't, but that could've easily been whispered.

I suffer from chronic Kloos Voice, although the ten years that I haven't lived with my family have allowed me to bring my condition under control. I can talk at a normal volume, in most average situations. I'm even the voice of reason when my loud children are screaming, or when my loud husband is yelling at the Cowboys on TV. I can control my own personal volume, enough to pass for a person who doesn't suffer from Kloos Voice. I no longer loudly interject WE SHOULD USE THE CARPOOL LANE on trips. Of course, I also no longer listen to my generic discman on student council field trips. So maybe I just lack opportunities for high volume.

As able as I am to control the volume of my voice in my normal, day-to-day life, if I am around my family I suffer a relapse. Sunday I was talking to both of my brothers, who also share my Kloos Voice condition, and I don't know which of us was the loudest in the conversation. Probably Josh, but he has the worst case of Kloos Voice. He's not always the loudest, but he is close. I do know that its a good thing that no babies were sleeping nearby, cause our loud Kloos Voices would've woken them up for sure. My sister seems to have overcome her Kloos Voice, and I don't know how she did it. She must have more determination than the rest of us. Maybe her's wasn't as severe. Either way, her voice volume is always appropriate for the situation. Mine isn't.

I'm positive that Kloos Voice is hereditary. My grandpa has it. He passed it on to my dad. I hold the phone approximately 6 inches from my head when my dad is on the other end, because any closer could cause hearing loss. I have it. I've learned to control it, but its still there. My brothers have it. And now, my kids have it. Ava doesn't talk much yet, she just says ham, tea, cookies, Peppa (as in Peppa Pig). Her volume is normal, but she's still a baby. She hasn't grown into her voice yet. It takes some time for the Kloos Voice to develop. Alana, though, Alana has Kloos Voice. Her Kloos Voice is loud, and its possible that its louder than mine.

Five year olds don't always know when its socially appropriate to be loud, and Alana is no exception. She runs through the house screaming at the top of her lungs, and nothing can be done to quiet her. I think an intervention is the next step. Headphones worsen the Kloos Voice, as I learned in high school by talking loudly several times while listening to the Wallflowers on a field trip. Alana's Kloos Voice comes out the most when she is listening to her iPod, lost in the Mulan soundtrack. CAN YOU GET ME A GLASS OF WATER? AND SOME APPLE JACKS? AVA! LEAVE ME ALONE! I WANNA WATCH PEPPA PIG PLEASE! Gives me a headache just thinking of it. The Kloos voice is her burden to bear now, and maybe she'll learn to turn down her iPod before talking, before its too late.

Over the past 29 years I have been accumulating wisdom. With this wisdom comes knowing when using my Kloos Voice is appropriate, when its tolerated but only slightly appropriate, and when its definitely not. Appropriate: at a sporting event when cheering for your team, at a concert (like rock or pop, probably not classical music or the opera or something where you should be quiet and respectful), when protesting something? (I've never done this but volume would probably help), when searching for a lost dog/person/whatever, when performing a concert (if you're the singer), when really trying to get a point across, when in the drive thru of a restaurant and there is a diesel behind you. Tolerated but only slightly appropriate: when talking to your brothers and you all have a Kloos Voice so the longer the conversation the more the volume of your voice increases, at Target/Walmart when telling your kids to stop picking up stupid cheap impulse buy crap from next to the register, when trying to find your chapstick and you're pretty sure one of your devil children hid it from you, when complaining that you've been up since 7 am with a two year old while everybody else sleeps till 9. Definitely not appropriate: when at work at any type of job that involves customer service and a customer complains on a comment card that you and a coworker were talking too loudly about the movie Shrek (stupid lady can't appreciate a cinematic masterpiece), in a movie theater, in church (including any wedding, funeral, baptism), in a public bathroom when you're a little kid and asking your mom too many personal questions, at a library, when calling a voice activated automated customer service center phone number that gets confused if you even cough when the robot is talking and asks I'm sorry I didn't get that, can you repeat?, anywhere that you need to be reverent or respectful.

Learning to live with a Kloos Voice is a work in progress, and it will never go away. I've got mine under control, now I just have to get Alana to learn to speak at a normal volume. One day at a time.

The Birthday Grinch Strikes Again

2011-10-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was David's birthday, so Tuesday I thought I'd get ahead of the game and make his cake. After it was done I put it into a carrier and into the fridge. Check that off my to-do list forever. Make a cake for David's 32nd birthday. I will never have to do that again. Right?

Wrong. Cause then this happened.

Cause when you have a two year old who can open the fridge, and that same two year old really likes cake, you've got a dangerous situation on your hands.

The first cake was inedible. Reduced to crumbs. So I was forced to make a re-do birthday cake. Angel food, cause that's what David likes. Take that birthday grinch, you can't ruin the second cake, cause I put it where you can't reach it. Ha!

I didn't have 32 candles, and that's kind of a fire hazard, so 5 candles plus some numbers worked instead. Maybe that was part of the birthday grinch's evil plan?

Then Alana sang Happy Birthday, while Ava grunted and "sang" along. Then we had spaghetti and meatballs, after the cake. Cause some people didn't want to get dirty before the picture.

Happy birthday David! Even if I had to make 2 cakes.

Its Never Too Early for a Countdown

2011-10-11T15:22:00.000-07:00

I realize that it's October 11th. I'm very aware of that. It's one day till David's birthday. He'll be 32, he's old! I'm not really hyped about that, cause hello, its not my birthday. We'll have some cake and move on with our lives. I think he and I can both agree that Disneyland is more exciting than a birthday. It's 21 days till Halloween, and I do love dressing my girls up in costumes then eating their candy after they go to bed. Good times.

Those things are fine and fun. Then October will be over with. In November I always look forward to Thanksgiving. An entire day built around eating and watching TV, that's my kind of holiday. Add in the bonus that half of the food is made from pumpkin and I'm sold, cause I love any excuse to eat pumpkin. Thanksgiving is fun, but I never count down to the days till it. I'm not all excited and writing 10 days till Thanksgiving! on my calendar.

I do have a countdown posted on my calendar though. An eagerly anticipated event that will occur in 55 days. 55 days isn't too early for a countdown, especially since its been there since 65 days and I've been counting down for even longer. My countdown leads to another trip to Disneyland. Yes, you read that correctly. I really have a problem, I just can't stop going to Disneyland. I guess its not really a problem for me, just with other people who are insanely jealous over the frequency at which we go to Disneyland.

We did just go to Disneyland in February. I didn't forget. But there are two main distinctions between these two trips: when you go in December they have awesome Christmas decorations and Santa & his reindeer and a Christmas parade and Christmas lights, and also Ava is not 18 months anymore, she is 2. I cannot explain the difference between taking an 18 month old to Disneyland and taking a 2 year old, who will almost be 2 1/2 by then. I cannot explain it to anyone who hasn't done both and lived to tell the tale.

The difference is like night & day. That almost year since our last trip has given Ava a little more time to grow up. She no longer sits in a high chair, she sits at the table with us. She is now willing to ride in the stroller. She looks at the camera and smiles. She will hold my hand and walk nicely next to me instead of running around like a crazy person. Those are all very big distinctions. Another one I can only hope she has made is not throwing up in the car after crying cause she wants out of her carseat and is mad. The smell of Funyun puke will forever be burned into my brain.

Yes, we are going on yet another vacation. And the day before David and I are going to the Cowboys/Cardinals game in Phoenix, and hopefully the Cowboys win or I'll be driving back with a depressed husband the day before vacation. Its exciting. I'm banking on reaching my fun quota for the month of December. I'm ready to meet the Disneyland version of Santa and his reindeer, ready to see a Christmas parade. Ready to drink a few vanilla lattes and have breakfast with Minnie Mouse. Only 55 more days!

Proof That One Time I Willingly Went to a Church

2011-10-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday something inconceivable happened: I willingly went to a church. Not church church, where they get all preachy and pray and stuff, cause I don't do that kind of church. Like a really old historical church in Tucson called San Xavier.

Its all historical and old and stuff, and I guess its one of those places where if you live near it you should go, just to say you have. Like Tombstone. Or the Grand Canyon. You know, touristy crap where there's lots of old ladies with nametags and random men who are there by themselves with a really expensive camera and a huge lens, just taking pictures of the building for an unknown purpose. Well, the Grand Canyon is actually really cool, just cause its so pretty, but its still boring cause there's not really anything to do there but hike or ride mules and I'm not really an outdoors mule riding kind of girl.

In reality San Xavier doesn't hold a lot of meaning to me, because I'm far from religious. Its a pretty old building and all, but at the end of the day its still a church which is filled with a lot of religious people lighting candles and way too many random people with pictures. The one selling point for me is that its on an indian reservation so there are about ten booths selling fry bread, which I happen to love, because hello people its fried dough covered in honey and powdered sugar! That was the highlight of my trip actually, because that's how my mind works. Good food = who cares what else happens cause I'm full of honey and powdered sugar and fried dough.

Now, photographic proof I went to a church one time.

My cute Ava. Its like she wants my to take her picture cause she is so cute.

Husband. Ava.

I got kinda bored so I took some pictures of the buildings. That's what boredom does to me.

They act like its so bright outside. They need sunglasses like me. I'm the cool one. And the bottom pic was taken by Alana. She's my prodigy.

Actual proof I was there.

Me and the sunglasses thief.

Not Pictured

2011-10-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

My camera has returned to me. Yay! Hooray! Jump up and down with excitement and stuff! Hug a Fed Ex guy! Celebrate!

After a 3 week absence, that was preceded by 2 weeks of it not working correctly before I finally caved, I mailed it to Canon so they could fix it. I knew it would be cutting it close because Alana's birthday was coming up, which was why I waited to mail it in the first place when it was still functioning somewhat, but I was still optimistic that it would get back since they had almost 3 weeks to fix it.

Fast forward one and a half weeks after I mailed my camera, when I knew for a fact that they had received it because it was insured. They had no record of it. Couldn't locate it. Were in fact very snobby every time I inquired about it. I swear I only ever got the same snotty lady named Lakeesha each time I called. Finally, over a week after they received it, I got a vague email saying that they had evaluated it and were going to fix it. Expect it in 7 days. If that had actually happened it would've made it back in time for Alana's birthday. The vague email didn't say what the problem was, whether the battery and charger were working, whether I was just crazy and the camera actually worked.

Last Thursday, the 29th, Canon emailed me again saying the repair was done and the camera had been shipped. Expected arrival date: October 3rd. Two days after Alana's birthday party and one day after her actual birthday. Great timing, but at least it was on its way home to me. I used my sister's camera to take a couple pictures at her party, but it wasn't the same. It was weird to look at a screen again instead of thru a viewfinder. I missed my camera. Curse you Canon!

Finally on Monday morning I got it back. The official diagnosis was that the circuit board had become disconnected, which cut off the power supply. It was covered by the warranty, so they had to fix it, they just didn't have to do it quickly. Then I took like 50 pictures on Monday, since September was essentially a pictureless month. I let Alana redo her candle on her cake, cause it wouldn't light at the park and she needed to make a wish. I hoped she wished to go to Disneyland, although it wouldn't matter cause we're going in December anyway!

I'm really unsatisfied with Canon's customer service, since they had the camera for almost 2 weeks before they even acknowledged it and took forever to fix it and were kinda rude whenever I called them. But they fixed my camera and I have it back so let's just let bygones be bygones. Its old news.

My real issue was all the photo ops I missed. Besides the huge one of Alana's 5th birthday, I missed countless times when my girls were doing something cute, something priceless, or something that will be blackmail worthy in the future. On Sunday Alana wore a pink football jersey, a purple & green plaid skirt, black Halloween tights, and Halloween socks over the tights. It was a super classy outfit, very festive for her birthday. And I didn't get a picture of it. That really irritates me. Now I have to make up for lost time.

She was pretty insistent on a Barbie cake, and she talked her Nana into buying one.

This isn't even all of her presents, just the ones I fit into the frame. She also got a baseball bat that I wrapped all awesome so it was obvious that it was a bat, but she opened it before I got a picture. Just picture a bat, completely encased in polka dot paper, and imagine me trying to convince the kids it was a Doodle Bear.

We have to take a family pic. Its our duty to document our awesomeness. And David has to keep commenting on how good he thinks he looks in this picture. At least he's modest.

Birthday candle do-over. Lots of wishes were made.

My pretty five year old. I think she missed my camera too, cause she kept asking me to take her picture.

My bratty two year old, who is growing out her mullet. Its looking pretty sweet.

***This isn't intended to be a compare & contrast between point & shoot cameras and dSLR cameras, but it definitely makes me glad I got a new camera. Even if I didn't have it at Alana's party!

Five is Old and I'm Depressed

2011-10-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

Today Alana is 5. I don't have much to say about it because I'm kind of in disbelief. That's a lie, I have plenty to say about it but it all makes me want to cry. Five is old. Five is old enough to start kindergarten. Tomorrow I'll be buying her a training bra, than she will get her drivers license and graduate from high school. That's how fast time is going!

We had a small party at the park yesterday, but I don't have any pictures cause they're on my sister's camera. Canon sent me an email Thursday saying they shipped my camera back and it should arrive Monday, just in time for me to miss her party and birthday. I'm pretty annoyed, but I guess I'll live. I'll make her a cupcake and let her blow out the candles again, since they wouldn't stay lit at the park yesterday and you can't make a wish without blowing out the candles.

She has been everything to me since she was born, cause that is what a first born does. They change your life and make you see what you didn't know you were missing. She's a contradiction everyday, sweet & sassy, girly and a little bit tomboy, obedient and defiant, a lover of Hershey's Cookies and Cream bars and broccoli, not together of course. She is a good big sister one minute, then they are engaged in a fierce pillow pet battle, then they like each other again. It's a vicious cycle of sibling rivalry.

Alana is excited to go to school next year, but I know Ava and I will miss her. She is always so excited for new things, like her witch costume for Halloween and our Christmas time trip to Disneyland. She is growing up against my will. I told her she was forbidden to turn five, and just like that she did it anyway.

Every single day I hug her, cause I know one day she won't be as willing to hug me back. Then after she falls asleep I lay down next to her for just a few minutes, trying to absorb all that I can of that moment before I blink and she's having another birthday. Every night when I'm trying to freeze time my eyes fill up with tears because sometimes I miss the baby version of her, the one that needed me more, the one who I centered my universe around.

I love the current version of her more and more every day, but that person changes when I'm not looking into someone more and more grown up, till one day she'll be unrecognizable to me as the baby who slept on my chest, and the little girl who wanted me to blow bubbles with her, and the five year old obsessed with attaining a Doodle Bear and who still let me hold her hand in public.

Goodbye to 4 year old Alana, I'll miss you as much as I miss 1, 2 & 3 year old Alana. Maybe I'll miss 5 year old Alana too when that time comes, ask me tomorrow when she's turning six.

Birthdays 1, 2, 3 & 4. 5 is coming soon, so it's to be continued.

Forever is Kind of a Long Time

2011-09-30T20:17:00.000-07:00

Whenever I hear the news that a couple I know is getting divorced, I always ask the same question. Why? You can't ever really explain the why without the what when where when how. There may not even be a solid good, real reason for the divorce. They call that irreconcible differences. Whatever that means.

It's hard to know the motivation behind events that take place in someone else's relationship. Who knows what makes someone cheat or lie or drink or be abusive or just want out. We all wonder what big cataclysmic event caused a divorce, but it was more likely a chain of small happenings, that all added up, piled on to the huge mountain of resentment that accumulates in a marriage, and that crazy equation of dysfunction ended up equalling the end.

The truth is marriage is a funny relationship. It stands alone in that it takes more work, and its not necessarily unconditional. With your children, you always love them no matter what. You can easily overlook their flaws, cause you made them and their cuteness typically helps. With family, you didn't pick them, but you're essentially stuck with them. You can't divorce your parents or siblings, but you don't have to live with them either. No matter what your parents are your parents, your siblings are your siblings, and your family is your family.

The only relationship you can reverse is marriage. It doesn't have to be a unanimous decision. Not everyone is always on board. Both parties can be at fault or one party can be at fault. One day your spouse can just say Hey I'm sick of this let's call it quits and what are you gonna do? There's no going back from that.

You can put everything you have into something, but there's still no guarantee you're gonna get anything out of it. That's the risk of love, you don't get your money back.

In spite of the risk I'm still willing to be a wife, cause this is the only functional relationship I've ever been in. I got married cause it offers stability. Its a contract that I will pick up David's shoes off the floor and begrudgingly pretend to care about the Cowboys if he will put up with my occasional moodiness. That's the only flaw I could think of, otherwise I'm just peaches to live with. Marriage to me is work, but that work means I don't have to worry that one day it will just end, cause I don't really care for breakups. They're terrible. They suck. They bite. I got married to avoid them for the rest of my life.

In some cases divorce is probably the healthier option. Kids shouldn't be around excessive amounts of dysfunction, medium is probably their limit in order to not end up on Intervention. That is my main goal as a parent, just to keep my kids from being so screwed up by my actions that they end up as some crackhead who can't deal with their feelings and goes on TV all crazy. If I achieve nothing else in life, I will still consider myself a success if I can do that one thing.

I Think I Care Too Much

2011-09-28T18:45:00.000-07:00

The TV love triangle is a strange thing. Something about it hooks me in. I care far too much about the outcome, and my opinion of who ends up with who is the only one that matters. No you idiot, pick him/her, you're clearly meant to be together and now you've ruined my night and its the season finale and I'm left waiting and real life isn't as interesting!

When I was 16, and Dawson's Creek was in its prime, I was very heavily invested. Don't pretend like you weren't too, because you were. I won't pretend that I didn't set the VCR to record Dawson's Creek so I could go to a basketball game but not miss my show and tivo hadn't been invented yet. I won't pretend I didn't want to slap Dawson for picking Jen when he and Joey were clearly meant to be together. I won't pretend I don't hate the way Katie Holmes talks out of the side of her mouth. I'm still glad they killed off Jen at the end, cause she was just annoying. And I'm still kind of mad that Joey and Dawson didn't end up together, cause she picked Pacey instead. Although Dawson was so self involved and way too obsessed with Steven Spielberg.

Fast forward to now, when I'm probably too old to care that much about a TV show. But that doesn't stop me. The only difference is now I have tivo, and I love modern technology for that invention especially. Now I can watch my new favorite show, Awkward, every Tuesday, and even fast forward through the commercials. Except yesterday was the season finale, and now I'm sad.

This show is about a girl named Jenna, who is in a love triangle with Jake & Matty. She should clearly pick Matty, cause that is who she actually cares about. But she doesn't, she goes with Jake, who she doesn't like nearly as much and who I don't like nearly as much. Poor Matty just stood there like a puppy who got stepped on, while she broke his heart. I was all What? Huh? NOOOO! Instead of the usual happy Oh I love this show feeling I usually have, instead I was all What the? They better fix this! 2012 better hurry up since that was the season finale and new episodes don't start till next year.

I haven't felt this way about a TV couple since The Office, when Jim told Pam he was in love with her, then they kissed, then it was the end of the season and they left it hanging. That was the last time I was like What? You like him too! Say something! Roy's a jerk! I've been addicted to The Office since then, and I was applauding loudly when Jim and Pam got married. It's TV fate.

In reality teenagers don't talk like the characters on Dawson's Creek, and if I ever met Joey Potter in person I don't think I'd like her, I just like her better than Jen. Awkward better turn out the way I want it, otherwise I'm gonna be mad. Not like, go on Facebook and rant about it like I've seen plenty of people doing on the show's wall, cause those people are just obsessive. Blogging about it is much cooler. Team Matty! At least I'll always have Jim and Pam, and they are clearly the best TV couple ever, kind of dorky but adorable soulmates.

Some Might Call it Obsessive

2011-09-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

I am unsure why I feel an obligation to blog. Maybe I need to record things, just cause, so that I can remember because I am getting kinda old. 29. Yikes.

I don't remember plenty of things. Like the current phone number of anyone I know. Curse you technology and your number saving abilities! But my phone number and address from when I lived in Tucson at age 10? 795-4872. 4626 East 15th Street. Those things are locked away in a steel cage in my mind, never to leave. I can't remember what it was like to hold my girls as a newborn, but I know my phone number from when I was ten.

I can't remember the exact the process that muscles use to transfer chemical energy, to be fair I should study it more but I've resigned myself to getting a B and retaking this class cause powers beyond my control have conspired against me. But, I know my recipe for chocolate chip cookies by heart. Haven't made it in a couple weeks, cause I intentionally ran out of chocolate chips, but I still know it. I can remember every. single. cheer. from high school cheerleading, but biology escapes me.

At night when I lay down to go to bed, way too late, my mind is full of awesome ideas. I should blog about this/that/that one time that something awesome happened/my funny thoughts on this subject, but in the morning, my memory has escaped me. I think the sandman stole my ideas when I fell asleep, then put them in his blog. Plagiarism from my mind! Intellectual property!

In my honeymoon phase of blogging I was on here all the time. I'd drop what I was doing and write what I was thinking. I had nothing else to do. Ava was a baby, who took lots of naps. Alana was 3, and didn't ask for cereal nearly as often. Now I'm a student, most of the year anyway.

And a referee to some pretty intense arguments of the sibling rivalry variety. Mama! Ava's not sharing your McFlurry! I had that piece of cheese first! I want to watch Bubble Guppies and Ava wants to watch Max & Ruby! Look at me! I have important things to complain about! All of the statements come from Alana, cause Ava doesn't talk. She just says yes/no and grunts/squeals in agreement.

I see my bossy childhood self in Alana, who adapts the rules of games she made up to benefit herself. If Ava is gaining some points in an imaginary made up game, suddenly the rules have changed and Alana is winning. Alana tells us all what to do, and attempts to correct me cause she knows everything. We can't pay for that soda at the photo center cause its not a register! Ava you can't eat that cause I said so! I know everything blah blah blah!

I feel somewhat accomplished in my blogging hiatus, because Ava is 85% potty trained. Actually, she should feel accomplished cause I haven't really done anything. Sometimes I'm too lazy to put her diaper back on, so she started peeing in the potty when it was off. This bottom-half nakedness led to her using the potty all day long, under one condition, bottom-half nakedness. If she is wearing clothes, like pants or underwear, they must be removed. Sometimes if she has clothes on she just won't bother. She will not get on the toilet, because its a giant scary monster that will eat her when flushed! She also will not use the potty when away from home, something I learned after she peed in her clothes twice at my in-laws house. But still, she just turned two, she knows how to use the potty and does not have to be reminded. We have gone through barely any diapers the past month and she stays dry at night. Its pretty awesome.

I think the real reason that I don't feel like blogging is my lack of pictures. My camera is in a camera coma, somewhere in Irvine, California. I had to mail it there, which I put off doing for too long. I called them every single day after it was supposed to arrive, and I'm sure by the time they finally located it they were tired of me. If they knew where it was any of the first 7 times I called I wouldn't have called them so much. Sorry snotty Canon lady who I talked to every time I called there. You mail something that you paid $700 for and then sit patiently at your house wondering if it will be back in time for you to take pictures of your daughter's 5th birthday party next week. Try it. I dare you. They finally emailed me Thursday night, a week after they received it, with vague information saying they were going to fix it and it was covered under the warranty. Thanks for too little too late. If I don't have it back before Alana's birthday I'm gonna be mad.

Maybe I'll blog again next week, after I've read three biology chapters on the nervous system, called Canon just to bother them 4 times, made 40 breakfast burritos for Alana's birthday party cause that's what she wants to eat, and looked at Facebook at least 10 times, cause its easier than blogging.

Aging Taste Buds

2011-09-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

Supposedly, maybe I read it somewhere or something, as you age flavors become milder or you have a stronger tolerance for spicy foods and stinky stuff. That's why little kids can't take the spicy foods that old people like, or don't like strong foods like onion or sauerkraut.

My taste buds keep giving away my age, yikes 29, because I have an increasing love for foods that used to make me cringe. Not that I'm out eating olives or something, cause gross, but suddenly I love hot sauce and onions. I have new found love for sriracha sauce, and I've been putting it on the chow mein noodles I've been eating all weekend. Grilled onions are suddenly appealing to me, when my entire childhood whenever my dad would eat them I'd be repulsed. Same with sauerkraut, but I haven't tried that so far, the smell is too much. I seek out the red pepper flakes at pizza establishments, and even put them in my spaghetti sauce. Spicy nacho Doritos are irresistibly delicious to me, even if when I'm done I have to brush my teeth just to cool off my tongue.

I never pictured myself liking spicy or strong foods, especially the spicy stuff. I used to be a wimp, but the more spicy stuff I eat the more I like it. Is it possible that my tongue is building up a tolerance to this arsenal of peppery things? That is a mystery. My taste buds are getting old, so now I like all the foods my dad likes, but I'm not gonna suddenly start putting excessive salt & pepper on my food like him, that would be crazy. And I do draw the line at liver & onions, that is just disgusting. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go eat some noodles drenched in sriracha sauce, with a big glass of ice water, cause there's still some feeling left in there.

My Almost Favorite Kind of Kid

2011-09-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

Ava is asleep. She looks so peaceful. Her terrorizing is on hiatus. Her long eyelashes even more visible, her breathing slow and steady, her stinky little feet sticking up in the air. I like her like this. My house is peaceful and quiet and I can forget about how she pulls my pants almost down everytime that she wants me to get her something.

Alana is awake, but she is quiet cause Ava isn't awake for her to fight with. She is free to eat Cookie Crisp on the floor and watch Mighty B by herself while I slave over biology at the kitchen table. I have major writer's cramp and the callus on my finger just keeps growing. Curse you biology! She is also peaceful, but not as peaceful as she'd be if she were sleeping. She can still ask for stuff and call me into the living room to see a commercial for something that is totally awesome or really cool.

If my kids didn't ever rest I think I'd pull my hair out. They not only renew their energy when they're quiet and nice, they renew mine. I can look at their innocent little faces and want to squeeze their cheeks, instead of shushing them for screaming into my ear.

There is something about a sleeping kid that melts the heart. You can't help but like them. They can do no wrong and suddenly deserve to go to Disneyland every single day and on massive shopping sprees for new toys and candy and Happy Meals! I have to resist the urge not to take a picture of both of my girls every time they're asleep, cause they just look so freaking cute. I'd have like 2,000 of both of them by now, cause of their squishy little faces.

As much as I love their sleeping selves, they can't be as cute and huggable as when they're awake, but well-behaved. I'll take sleeping Ava over bratty wild screaming Ava anyday, but cute hug me and play Littlest Pet Shop with me Ava wins out over them all. Alana is nice when she's asleep, no screaming or asking to use the computer, and compared to let me play on Nick Jr dot com immediately or I may die Alana that's great, but nice Mommy you wanna color I love you five million Alana is way better.

I think I just need a good nap once in a while, even if I'm not the one sleeping.

I Should Probably Blog About Something

2011-09-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

I spent my week in a haze of anatomy & physiology with my new textbook that just came Tuesday. I accidentally ordered two lab books instead of a lab book and a textbook, so my frenzy to get my book before the impending test that was scheduled Friday had me stressed. So I studied. And I studied some more. And I worked on my lab activities. Then I studied. Every once in a while I took a break to pee. Then I went to class.

Surprise! The teacher had a death in the family as a result of the hurricanes and flooding in Vermont, so we had a sub. No test, which was lucky for me. Plus, this teacher gives lectures on the test material, which the other teacher doesn't do. So I've been temporarily spared.

After my initial judgment of September as being crappy it made a little bit of a turn around. I left negative feedback on Amazon for a sociology book I bought in July cause half of the pages fell out. I barely got around to leaving feedback though cause I'm lazy. The seller, upon seeing my negative feedback, contacted me. They offered me a refund or a replacement book if I would remove my feedback, because they'd rather have a clean record than my $60. Thank goodness for good customer service, cause I needed that $60 since I had surprise textbooks to buy. I also mailed back my extra lab book so when they get it they will give me back my $90, which I'm thankful for.

I was excited this summer to get a window ac for our bedroom, cause swamp coolers just don't cut it in monsoon season. It didn't make any real impact on our July electric bill, so I wasn't expecting anything abnormal for the August bill. That's why I almost had a heart attack when I opened the bill yesterday and it was $75 more than any electric bill we've ever had at this house and I think I know a normal electric bill here since we've lived here for 7 years. Good thing Amazon still owes me money, cause that was an unexpectedly large bill. I'm glad fall is approaching and its been rainy and mild the past two days. Rainy enough to make pumpkin bread and pretend that its October.

On the camera front I wish I had good news. It keeps turning off and after contacting Canon customer service I was supposed to mail it back, but I was hesitant because that's basically mailing my most prized possession to California for a couple weeks, with no pictures in that time period. Right after I sold my old camera on Amazon. I was hoping it was a fluke and the problem would fix itself, but no such luck. I was suspicious that the battery was the issue, so I took the battery and charger to Radio Shack and the owner tested them both for me for free. He said the real issue is the charger, it isn't charging the battery. I'm apprehensive and have to send everything back to Canon so they can test it and verify that info. I don't think the charger is covered by the warranty, which is crappy, but at least the problem is probably not my camera. I would cry if it broke, even though I can get it fixed for free, minus the cost of shipping.

Overall my life right now basically consists of studying for biology, obsessing over my camera, taking a break to cook dinner cause I don't want my kids to starve (or David I guess), changing the movie when my kids request I do so, cause Dora's Christmas Carol needs watched everyday, you can never get into the Christmas spirit too early, and sleeping. And watching Awkward, cause its my new favorite show. Now look at the last pictures my camera took before it officially died for an undetermined amount of time.

Note to Self: Read the Fine Print

2011-09-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

So far September is kinda sucky. No tragedies, but kinda crap.

I was all stressed out last Friday about a lab book for biology that I didn't know I needed, so we sold some old books and video games and scraped together the money to buy it, and it got here Tuesday. I felt slightly less stressed out, but I was still waiting for my textbook I ordered two weeks before. On Thursday the box came with the textbook I ordered before class started, but guess what? It wasn't a textbook. It was the exact same lab book that I had been stressed out about, and now I had two copies.

Why did I have two copies of the lab book and no textbood? Because the ISBN (that is like a book id #) on the school's website was the one for the lab book. I thought I had ordered the textbook, but didn't pay close enough attention to the cryptic way that the book list was presented to realize that I needed two books. So then I had to borrow money, which I really hate doing and have managed to avoid until this point in my life. I wouldn't even of asked if I wasn't completely desperate. Stupid book was like $150, and last week I was all stressed out about buying the cheaper book that I already had.

Now I have two copies of a book I was all stressed out about, and no copies of a book that I thought I had already ordered, that will be here Tuesday thanks to express shipping that is delayed cause of Labor Day. And the drop deadline for the class passed the day before I realized that I still needed a book.

I can return the extra lab book for a full refund, minus the shipping, thankfully. It will be a week or so before I get my money back, but at least I'll get it back. And Amazon still owes me money for my old camera that I sold on there, but they won't pay me till the 9th. Speaking of cameras, mine was acting all crazy yesterday and kept shutting off and refusing to come back on until I put the battery in the charger for a couple of minutes. I guess it could be the battery, but the clicking noise it made each time it shut off made me think it might not be.

My camera is less than one year old, so it still has a warranty. Repair means sending it to California though, and living without it for a few weeks, which is depressing. Alana's birthday is the very beginning of October and I don't want to miss out on pics, but I guess I can't take them with a broken camera anyway. I don't have any money to ship it right now anyway, cause I have to ship my extra textbook back ASAP to get a refund. When I do ship it I'm definitely getting the insurance, cause that camera is like my third kid. I'll be worried till it gets back to me safely.

September can only get better from here, at least that's what I keep telling myself. I'll be done with biology halfway through October, then I'm just taking another writing class and those don't really require any real studying on my part. I just want September to go quickly, cause October has Alana and David's birthdays, then Halloween, and I love that time of year. The weather is so nice and perfect, and I will eat anything pumpkin flavored. Then before I know it Thanksgiving will be here, and its my favorite holiday. Tons of food, no pressure to buy everyone presents, and brisk fall weather? Yes please. Just gotta make it through September, with at least a stupid B in biology, although if I get a B I think I'm gonna retake it.

About Ava

2011-09-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

When I blogged about Ava turning two, I mostly talked about her birthday. I didn't mention much about her, who she is right now. It is hard to capture the essence of a toddler, with all of their crazy toddler ways. They're somewhere between kid and baby, in limbo, and when you look at them in the present they seem so big, but when you look back on them in a couple of years you realize just how much of a baby they still were.

Ava is a baby, and at the same time she is a little kid, who thinks she is big enough to do everything Alana does. Alana jumps off the couch? Ava is right there to go next. Alana needs to wear a princess dress over her regular clothes? Ava is a mini Belle or Snow White. Alana is brushing her teeth and using mouthwash? Ava thinks she needs mouthwash, so I give her a little cup of water cause she just drinks it.
She is a follower, but she still stands up for herself when she's been wronged. She won't tolerate injustice.

Ava is often two people. She is a shy girl, so when she's around a lot of people she doesn't know, or just a lot of people, she is quiet and glued to my leg. When it's just us around the house, or there are just a couple people here who she feels comfortable with, she is a wild and crazy woman. She is the opposite of herself, and of her sister. Alana knows no stranger, and loves everyone. Ava is more cautious. Who are these people and why am I supposed to be nice to them? I don't see them on a daily basis, so therefore I don't know them.

She really inherited my sweet tooth, but also got David's enthusiastic love of breakfast meats. She is a snackaholic, and will eat small amounts of stuff all day if I don't make it a point to feed her structured meals. She will eat two cold hot dogs in a row, just because she likes them so much. Cookies are another weakness of hers, and so are pumpkin and zucchini bread. She likes pumpkin and zucchini bread so much that she will go to the oven every ten minutes while it's cooking and tap on the door, inquiring about when she can eat some. It's nice to have someone to share a loaf with, because Alana and David aren't as into sweets as Ava and me. Her favorite place to eat is in my bed, on my side, with the covers pulled down. Yesterday she climbed in there and pulled down the blanket, then ate a big piece of pumpkin bread, leaving plenty of crumbs as a present for me.

Ava may be two, but she doesn't talk much yet. A big part of that is that Alana is always answering questions for Ava, so Ava never really has to talk. She gets her point across though. She squeals, grunts, yells, points, shakes her head yes and no. She has a few words in her repertoire, but she only uses them when she feels like it. Mostly you will find her squealing then pointing. I'd like some pumpkin bread is Squeal, point to bread, point to open mouth. This is hot but I still want to eat it is Blow, then point to mouth. I'd like to watch Dora please is Run to Mommy, pull on her pants, hand her DVD, squeal and point to TV. She pulls on my pants so much that sometimes she pulls them down, that can be kind of annoying. Get de-pantsed daily. Maybe I should wear fewer pajama and yoga pants.

Ava loves playing, especially with Alana. She plays whatever her sister wants, whenever. Barbies, babies, legos, littlest pet shop guys. Its cute when they play together, but just as cute when Ava plays by herself. She makes the dolls or figurines "walk" around and kiss, its pretty funny. And babies must all be rocked, then thrown into the crib.

Ava is a momma's girl, but she's always glad for Daddy to come home. She tries to play and hide with Alana, but always gets excited and runs out when he opens the door. She gives hugs and kisses, and plenty of snuggles. There is no shortage of snuggles with Ava. She is so sweet and squishy, I think I'll keep her.

She is 25 lbs, but won't hold still for me to get her height. She has a sweet baby mullet that I can't bring myself to cut yet. Its mullet-ness isn't too bad because it curls out, so I don't foresee a haircut in our near future. She has big brown eyes and still had super long eyelashes. Her cheeks and butt are so chubby and squishy and I want to squeeze them all the time. She always has her toenails painted, cause when I paint mine or Alana's she wants to be included, and she recently started requesting that I paint her fingernails too. Her chubby little hands look so cute with a coat of red nail polish on her fingers, but they also look impossibly grown up. Its bittersweet.

She is my couch potato baby and loves cartoons. She is a big Nickelodeon fan, because Wubbzy, Dora, Bubble Guppies and Max & Ruby all top the list as her favorites. She also requests to watch a Disney movie a day, mostly Up and Monsters Inc, and sometimes Rapunzel and the Little Mermaid. Gotta stay updated on her Disney movies for our next trip to Disneyland in December. Gotta get one more trip while she's still free!

I can't remember what it was like to have just one kid, even though having two kids means a lot more compromise, for them anyways, they rarely agree on what movie to watch, and it also means being the referee far more frequently. She has made our family more complete, and we're all better off with her in our lives. She is so crazy and cute, but at the same time she is quiet and shy. I love her and I'd be completely happy if she stayed my baby forever.

Kidney for Sale

2011-08-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

You know how hindsight is 20/20? You don't? Well, you should. I know in theory, but apparently not in practice.

I've recently been shopping. You know, for fun stuff, like 3 cases of diapers and jackets and shoes for my kids. I'm frivolous like that. I also got a couple pairs of shoes, but that's neither here nor there. This shopping, for essential life things and such, was sponsored in part by my pell grant. It is nice to fill in the gaps and helps us get by till the next one. Also pays my tuition and buys my books. At least the ones I think I need.

Money burns a Texas-sized hole in my pocket. I had my money spent before I got it, and waited impatiently for it to be deposited into my bank account. Impatiently is probably an understatement, seriously I was checking my account online like every hour. Obsessive.

So we went to Target and Walmart and gave them all of our money for stuff that will get thrown in the trash like diapers and toilet paper. Then I had no money left. Zero. I was broke. David still had some, but his books and tuition were cheaper than mine so he started out with more. So me, no money. David, some.

It wasn't that relevant that all my money was gone because my bills were paid and my books were bought. Every book that was on the list, that I thought I needed, was paid for.

Today was my first day of my biology class. My textbook is in the mail. The only one I thought I needed. Then, a surprise. I don't care for surprises in general, but when it is an expensive surprise I'm really not a fan. Hey guess what, half of you didn't realize it because it was under a different tab labeled Recommended books, but you also have to buy a lab book that costs $128, plus tax! The cheapest one you can even find on Amazon is $90, but that doesn't include the $35 access code that you'll also need. Hahahaha.

Literally half of the class went to the bookstore during the break to buy the book. But not me. I went, but I couldn't buy it. Because I have no money. Not like, I'm destitute and can't put food on the table no money. More like, I'd have to scrape together pennies and sell my kidney if I was going to buy that book right now or else I have no gas money and such till next payday.

The class is only 8 weeks long, so the longer I wait to buy the lab book the more behind I will get. I can't drop it, because then I have to take something else and I'd have to buy the book for that, and if I don't take another class I have to pay back my tuition money and half of my financial aid money. Those options are way more expensive than just buying the book.

For now I have options. Wait till next payday, which is almost two weeks away, and use whatever money is left over after that to buy the book. Don't wanna do that, cause then I have to wait a long time. Sell my kidney, but that is also time consuming and requires surgery. My blood type is O Positive if there's any takers, though I don't know how that affects compatibility, since I'm currently taking anatomy, but don't have the stupid book.

I did list my old camera on Amazon, but someone would have to be dumb enough to buy a point and shoot camera in order for that plan to pan out. Plus Amazon takes forever to put money in the bank. Side note: Click here to go buy my camera! My seller name is Alana is the best, cause there are too many Jennifers in the world and Alana suggested that.

We'll probably take a trip to the book store, where they buy back used books and video games, and actually give pretty fair prices. Thanks Hastings!

I can probably scrape together enough to buy the dumb book pretty soon. I don't like to borrow money from people and wouldn't even ask unless I was on my death bed, so that leaves me with selling stuff and waiting for payday. If only I had saved some of my money, that I had just one week ago. Stupid hindsight.

******Post edit: Someone bought my camera the next day, which was awesome, except that Amazon takes almost 2 weeks to pay you and won't even release the funds until you ship, which you end up having to pay out of pocket. And the shipping is more expensive than they let you charge, so its kind of a rip off. I probably won't be complaing in a couple weeks though when I have an extra $50 in my bank account.

I got my book though, cause my awesome husband took a bunch of books and video games to a used book store and they bought them for $80, which almost covered the cost of the book. The teacher said I didn't need to buy the access code if I didn't want to, so I bought the book on Amazon for $90, which saved me quite a bit. Thank goodness for Amazon and people who want to buy my old stuff.

Shopping Cart Karma

2011-08-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

Pre-children Jennifer was very judgmental about people putting their shopping carts back in the designated area. I was all How lazy are you people that you can't walk an extra 20 feet to put it back to make the job of an underpaid grocery store employee a little easier?

In reality, it is kind of lazy not to put your cart back, under normal circumstances. If you're just going to the store, no kids attached or disability that prevents you from pushing your cart back to the designated area, and you don't put it back, then I'm gonna think you're lazy and kind of rude.

Post-children Jennifer, always one to contradict myself, doesn't usually put my shopping cart back in the designated area. Gasp! Past Jennifer would've judged me harshly, but current Jennifer has an excuse. Two kids.

When you take your kids to the store with you, which I kind of loathe doing, its a big enough job to keep them intact and prevent them from picking an apple out of a produce bin and eating it right there. True story. Especially when you're taking a 2 and 4 year old. I really don't know how moms with more kids take them all to the store without losing their minds. Child-free grocery shopping is my dream. Sometimes I go to the store at 6 or 7 am, before they've gotten up, just so I can shop peacefully.

So post-children Jennifer is a little more realistic. Once I have my kids loaded in the car, and then my groceries, and the car is running cause let's be real people this is AZ so if the car and ac aren't on my children's would be all sweaty, I can't take my cart back to the designated area. If I take my cart back, then I have to walk away from my ladies, in the running car, and leave them unattended. Not gonna happen. No one is stealing my ladies or my only car on my watch. So I have to leave my cart at the front of my car. Sorry cart retrievers at Benson Walmart. I wouldn't do it if it weren't necessary. I promise when my kids are bigger that I will always return my cart and make your job slightly easier.

Also: If you park in the fire lane at the grocery store, you better be an emergency response type of vehicle. None of this I'm just waiting for someone who just ran in real quick. They'll be right back. Except that they still aren't back after I've loaded all my stuff in the car and my kids and I'm leaving. They won't be back for at least five minutes, and that is plenty of time to find a legal parking space. Those red lines and no parking signs are there for a reason, rude old guy reading a magazine, because you're not supposed to park there. That area is for people with emergencies, not people with a sense of entitlement. There are plenty of parking spaces and they're not that far away.

Sporadic

2011-08-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

Every single day, when my kids do something cute, I think to myself That would be a good thing to blog about. I'm totally gonna write about that. It is hilarious! Everyone will crack up, cause of the hilarity of my blog and my awesome writing skills and my modesty and such. But then I don't. Cause I'm lazy. Or super busy window shopping online, so that when I go to the actual store I'm mad that they don't have as big of a selection. Why don't they have the necklace I want? What is wrong with these people?

The nature of my blogging has become sporadic at best. Once, twice, three times a week. That's all I have in me. So then I end up with these random topics all crammed into one post, because I was saving them for a rainy day or other such occasion. I also have random pictures, with no specific topic other than the cuteness of my children, with no place to call home. See above. So they end up in a spot on my blog because they deserve to be seen, not just stored on my harddrive for all eternity.

My life is pretty routine, but there are always moments when my kids do something so cute it surprises me. They have crazy personalities. I have tons of stories of all of the things that they do, so this will be the home of this week's stories. Not just this blog specifically, duh, cause that's where they end up anyways. This specific post, cause my sporadic blogging leaves me with lots of stories that don't get written down, and today is the day I tell some stories.

Pretty cool:
The best catchphrase that Alana can possibly imagine has been named. It is: Pretty cool. Pretty cool is not the description of the phrase, so much as the actual phrase. Everything that Alana thinks is awesome: Pretty cool. When food is delicious it is called: Pretty cool. Any new toy worth buying: Pretty cool. She is starting to remind me of the Miley Cyrus show on SNL. Everything is coming up ~~roses~~ pretty cool.

Hide and go tattletale:
Hide and go seek is played in a less traditional way in our house. The rules: The hider hides. Ava goes with them. The seeker finishes counting to ten, then Ava comes out of hiding and leads them to the hider. She screams and makes you follow her, laughing the whole time for giving away the secret. It's pretty cool.

Hopscotch champion of the world:
Tuesday Alana drew a hopscotch court with sidewalk chalk in our backroom. It was pretty cool. It consisted of about 15 squares, all drawn to the size of an infant's foot. Pretty small, but pretty cool. Ava took the hopscotch court for test drive, the way that only a two year old can. By mastering it and making it kiss the ground she walks on. She owned it. She nailed it. She is hopscotch champion, of the world, no, make that universe. She skips through it by randomly jumping up and down and then congratulating herself at the end. Words cannot accurately describe it, it is the funniest thing I've ever seen. If I had to describe it I would probably call it Pretty cool.

These bratty kids crack me up. I want to remember how small and cute they are now, so when they're teenagers, and incessantly asking to drive the car and giving me gray hairs, I will still like them some. They are definitely pretty cool.

Terribly Two

2011-08-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

It is official, this little person is 2! She is so sweet and cuddly, and I'm so lucky to have her.

We celebrated Saturday with cake and ice cream, plus presents. Ava is my shy girl, so I got the feeling she was ready for everyone to go home about 5 minutes after they got there. Thanks for coming, now I'd like to watch cartoons by myself thanks! Pre-party I actually took a poll of who she would like to invite, and the only yes answers were for her cousin Brinley and my sister Nicole, who had to bring Brinley. Everyone else was a party crasher.

I didn't get any good pics at the party cause Ava was literally glued to my leg, she wouldn't even let me put her in a chair by herself to sing Happy Birthday. I had to hold her and hand over my camera and creative control. She was not a fan of the singing process, because 20 people were staring at her and she got shy. This is shown in the pictures. One mad, shy, grouchy lady. She looked so unhappy in the pics that I gave her some cake yesterday on her actual birthday, with a candle and an awesome version of Happy Birthday sung by Alana. It was my do-over.

She got lots of presents, but her favorites were of course the toys. My favorite was the cash. What can I say, I love a good envelope of cash.

Then we had to return a couple of things, cause we got some stuff we already had. Word on the street is that I return presents. That I return tons of the stuff that my kids get. Not just a couple, but like everything. I'd like to clarify. Defend my good name. Set the record straight.

I take stuff back. Not everything, but stuff that we have no use for. We got a copy of the movie Rio, which we already had. So we took it back. We got a bed tent for a twin size bed, but we do not own a twin size bed. We got two of the same dress, but neither had tags, so we kept both. I only return stuff that we can't use, and instead get her new toys that she can doesn't already have. She got a Littlest Pet Shop remote conttol car that is so annoying, but she and Alana both think it is super fun.

I'm not some crazy lady who just returns everything to get Walmart store credit. I only return stuff we absolutely will not use. I don't think that is rude, but sorry if people get offended.

Enough about that, let's get back to the birthday stuff. Ava is officially two. I love her. Now look at pictures of her. Thanks.

Cake re-do. She liked it better when it was just us. She actually sort of smiled.

Red velvet cake. Cream cheese frosting. I accidentally doubled the butter in my frosting and didn't realize it till later. It was extremely delicious.

She looks grouchy in these. That is why we had a re-do. I can't believe she is two!

Because Blogger Hates Me

2011-08-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

I feel like it is important to say thanks to Amy for wishing Ava a happy birthday and complimenting me in the process. Go here to visit her yourself.

Because blogger has been stupid lately and won't let me comment on blogs I chose to put my thank you up here where everyone can see it.

P.S. Amy, I can't comment on your blog lately. I've had this problem and others have told me the same thing about mine cause there is something wrong with blogger when you have the comments encrypted under your post. Making the comment window appear in a pop-up box fixed mine so that people can comment. If you've noticed a lack of comments, especially from me, that might be why.

Take One Last Look

2011-08-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow my perfect little lady Ava will be two. It should be a crime how quickly they grow up, but I can think of a few things that are worse. I'm so happy to have her, she is so sweet in every way. She might hold us all hostage watching Wow Wow Wubbzy every day, but I love her nonetheless.

The first second I held her I suddenly remembered how small babies start out, because we forget so quickly. Now she is 24 pounds of pure energy, and I just want to squeeze her all the time. There are so many times every single day where I look at her and I can't believe how perfect she is. She has the longest eyelashes, pouty little lips, the squishiest chubby butt. She grew in the blink of an eye, and I'm in the market for a time machine to hold baby Ava one more time, because toddler Ava is busy playing and coloring and jumping around and squealing.

I feel the need to look at her baby pictures, so I can try to remember how small she started out. You have to look too, so I know I'm not crazy for thinking time goes so fast.

My intention was to put a picture from every month of her life so far. Blogger had different ideas. I still got a good look at just how much my lady has grown, and its a lot. Looking at these old pictures made me sure of two things: Ava has grown up way too fast & I'm so very glad I got a new camera.

A Finish and a Start

2011-08-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

Today I finished my last assignment for my summer classes! Yay! Five week classes go by super fast, before you know it you're writing six pages about high fructose corn syrup and whether or not its unhealthy. And citing references, cause plagiarism is bad people.

I got two As, thanks for asking. Actually, I'm just assuming they're both As since I got an A on every single assignment and test and discussion. When the final tally is in and those slow grading teachers finally give me something official, I'm sure it will be an A. Seriously though, if I got something lower than an A in a writing class I would start to question my identity.

Next semester my strategy is to take two classes, but they're both 8 weeks, at opposite ends of the semester. First up is Anatomy and Physiology. Yikes. Gonna have to do some studying for that one. None of this stuff where I just wing it like with writing. Then after that is over I'm taking my second writing class. Back to winging it.

Today also marks the start of preseason football. That one gets a sarcastic Yay! David just watched some highlights and was yelling at the TV. That's what the next few months will be like for me. Listening to someone yell at the TV, then ask me what I'm typing about. Not you. Yet.

Football season this year better go better for David and the Cowboys, cause we have tickets to see the Cowboys play the Cardinals in December. I made have made a deal to wear football earrings to that event, which I am now regretting. I'm gonna look dumb, but probably not as dumb as the rest of the football fans wearing ridiculous outfits.

With the end of one semester and the next one just two weeks away, I'm ready to spend some time watching Wubbzy with my almost two year old. I'm sad that she'll be two on Sunday. She just turned one! She is growing up too fast. I think she has grown faster than Alana. I couldn't wait for Alana to turn two. Now she's almost five and I miss the two year old version of her. Two is such a fun age, they can do so much stuff. But one is still a baby. I can't let go of one just yet. I'm hanging on to these last two days with a one year old. Now I have to go squeeze my squishy little baby, before she grows up anymore.

An Explanation

2011-08-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life you find yourself at a fork in a road. Only its not a fork, its a chair. And you wonder Why the heck is there a chair in the road? So you just drive around it and question your own sanity.

There is a chair, in the middle of our driveway, in the middle of a giant mud hole. Sometimes in the evenings I like to unwind by sitting in an old chair in the middle of a mud hole in the middle of my driveway. Feel the evening breeze in my hair, watch the sunrise. You know, enjoy nature and crap from the comfort of an old chair in my driveway.

Or, there was a water main break in our driveway, which created a huge mudhole. The landlord fixed it quickly, but not before a huge mudhole was created. He didn't want anyone to drive through it right away, so he dragged this old chair from behind our house and put it right in the middle. Cause that's what anyone would do in that situation.

Its still there. I find it gives our driveway more character. Really sets our house apart from the others. Now, when I'm giving someone directions to my house I can just say Its the one with the old chair in the middle of the mud at the end of the driveway.

I Have Issues

2011-08-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

When did all these toys that I played with as a kid suddenly make a comeback? Overnight my house has filled with Smurfs and My Little Ponies. Literally overnight, cause we got Smurfs in some Happy Meals yesterday and bought a six pack of ponies on sale at Walmart.

We also have our share of Strawberry Shortcakes, which also came from Happy Meals. Add to that one thousand Barbies and you have my dream childhood. My kids have far more toys than I could have ever imagined. And I get to play My Little Ponies all I want!

Yesterday was my niece's first birthday party. She is so cute and squishy I just want to bring her home with me. Or have another so that I can have another one year old, because my one year old is one week away from being two. Sad. Last year when Ava turned one I was sad because she had gotten there so quickly. One day she just started walking, and she walked right towards one and never looked back. Now she is gonna be two and I'm caught off guard again. I swear I just brought her home from the hospital. Last summer she was wearing onesies and no shoes and crawling around, now she walks everywhere, makes snake noises and actually agrees to wear shoes and have her toenails painted.

We are just having cake and ice cream for her, which makes me feel kind of guilty that we're not having some huge party, but feeding all those people takes lots of time and money. I prefer to keep them both to myself, cause last year I spent her birthday cooking and running around like a chicken with my head cut off getting ready for her party. This year, I'm making a cake and sitting on the couch with my two year old. She can hold me hostage while watching Wow Wow Wubbzy all day.

I'm down to my last week of summer school, and once I adapted to the faster pace I got pretty comfortable. Five week classes go super quick. Instead of one chapter per week like a sixteen week class, I did four. And I'm getting a high A in both classes, so that can make up for my slacking last semester. To me there is no greater compliment than being called smart. Things like appearance and photography ability are nice to get praise for, but being smart trumps them all. I want my kids to value intelligence too, because it is far more important than beauty.

Summer is winding down, but this last month of stuffy humidity is gonna be killer. I hate August. I would say to just cut it out of the year altogether, but my anniversary and a couple of birthdays are in there so it has to stick around. I'm ready for September and October, where its not too hot, not too cold, and never humid. I'm not ready for my eight week Biology class that starts at the end of August though, because who really wants to spend that much time studying anatomy and physiology. Not this girl. But I only have about four classes left to take before applying to dental hygiene school, then I just have to find something to do during the two year time period when I'm waiting to start. Not an exaggeration, the waiting list is a mile long.

In blogging issues, I've noticed a lack of comments, which might be cause no one has anything to say. It might be for another reason too, which is that blogger hates me. Recently when I've tried to comment back to people on my own blog posts, I couldn't. It sent me on this endless cycle where I was forced to sign in repeatedly and eventually gave up. I had the same problem with some other people's blogs, so I quit trying to comment on them. I had some awesome stuff to say too! Yesterday I was reading a random blog and she mentioned the same problem, and then mentioned a solution. If you go to settings, then comments, and change your comments from being at the bottom of the post to being in a pop-up box, then the issue is magically fixed. Yay! I was able to comment back to people and now I'm happy once again. Take that blogger!

Updated Marriage Vows

2011-08-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

Today is my five year wedding anniversary. I'd like to thank Facebook for reminding me. Seriously, we probably would've forgotten otherwise, cause we're awesome like that.

We don't really keep that close of track of it, because we were together for so long before we bothered to get married. Then when we did bother to get married, we just went to Vegas with a handful of people, when I was about 8 months pregnant with Alana. Classy, I know.

We never really get gifts or celebrate, especially since Ava'a birthday is so close to our anniversary, so we save all our extra money in August for her and her almost two-ness. Besides, the traditional gift for the five year anniversary is wood, and someone in this marriage is trying to interpret that in a way that benefits them.

After five years of marriage, and nine together, we've established a pretty solid repertoire. I still do things that annoy him, and he definitely does things that annoy me. But we make it work, cause for some strange reason we love each other. Ok, that's my mushiness overload keyword right there. Unless I'm talking about cookies or kids, I don't typically say love. So now I'm changing the subject.

After all this time, I think our marriage vows could use some revamping. A few new promises, cause the other ones are getting old. I'm talking about you Honor and Obey.

I will promise to cook some type of breakfast meat: bacon, sausage, ham, etc, at least three times a week, if David will promise not to keep reminding me of the one gross thing that I cooked in 2003, which he fondly calls Manure Meat. I think I've redeemed myself, so lets just let it go already.

I will promise to not win too often in Skipbo, if he promises not to push my players so much in NBA Jam, and to not cheat in Jeopardy.

I'll pretend to be interested in the incessant football chatter, if he pretends to care about what grade I got on my most recent essay. It was an A, in case you were wondering. But only a 98%, where's the other two points lady?

I will sit through stupid action movies like Transformers 3, if David promises that I never have to watch them ever again. I don't care what movie is on HBO, if I didn't like it the first time I'm not gonna like it this time.

Marriage is ultimately about compromise. You do things you don't wanna do, because they make your spouse happy. I can think of several right off the bat. But all of the fun that you have together will be worth it, as long as you make sure to marry someone who makes you laugh. Whether its with them or at them, it doesn't matter.

Delicious Child

2011-08-03T14:15:00.000-07:00

Something bit Alana. Something unknown. Something hungry. Something her body wasn't too happy about.

At first it just looked like a mosquito bite. She said it was itchy. I put anti-itch cream on it and gave it no more thought. The next day it no longer looked like a mosquito bite. It looked gross. Red and swollen and streaky. It looked worthy of a doctor visit. So that's what we did.

The doctor gave her some antibiotics, but since she had no other symptoms and was still running around like a crazy four year old, she was sent on her way. He did have one stipulation though, if it got worse she had to go to the hospital.

The next day, it was worse. Great. I love the hospital. At least in a small town the hospital doesn't have a ridiculous wait time, and you might even know the nurse.

Alana still felt fine, at least fine enough to bring nearly every toy she owns with her to the hospital. Every toy, including the smurf she talked me into buying for her at McDonald's the day before.

After not too long and some more antibiotics, we were still left wondering what the heck bit her. I know it wasn't Ava, cause she has bigger teeth. And I don't think it was a big spider, cause she said it didn't hurt. Its a mystery, hopefully not a recurring one.

Proof of bitten status:

These pictures don't even show how swollen and red it really was. There was streaking up and down her arm, and she could barely bend it because it was so fat.

Even with a fat swollen arm, she still wanted to go outside and play. And make dorky faces while I took her picture.

I Can't Live, If Living is Without Cookies

2011-07-31T17:46:00.000-07:00

The majority of my brain is dominated by my sweet tooth. The part that normal people have that thinks about practical stuff like finances, the weather, what shoes are appropriate to wear into the rain, in my brain that part thinks about pie. The part that some people have that gets all existential and thinks about God, heaven, where we go when we die, reincarnation, in my brain that part is reserved solely for thoughts about York Peppermint Patties. The part of the brain in some people that thinks about the future, climate change, greenhouse gasses, the ozone, in my brain I'm busy thinking about soft serve ice cream. The part of my brain that would plan out what I'm making for dinner, what would be appropriate to serve for a meal, how many servings of fruits and vegetables I've eaten that day, that part is wondering whether I've got enough butter to make chocolate chip cookies. And if I do, I make them.

As a kid I can recall having my thoughts occasionally consumed by fantasies of candy. When I would get this candy, it was a dream come true. It didn't even matter if it was a candy I didn't like, I still ate it. I would suck the chocolate off of Raisinettes, just because I was unwilling to waste candy. I would behave through the entire grocery store, in anticipation of the checkout line where candy was waiting for me, begging me to take it home and eat it. Then when I asked, my behavior couldn't be the reason I was told no. I rarely got candy or sweets when I was a kid, so when I did it was a treat.

As an adult, my circumstances are different. I stay home all day, with 24 hour access to the pantry. If I want a candy bar, I can go to the store to get it. If I want cookies, I have the ingredients to make them. This availability is not good for me, because my willpower is poor at best. Ask the bag of chocolate chips I bought Wednesday about my willpower, oh wait, you can't, cause I ate them all.

I need to go on a diet. Not a strict, no carbs no fat no fun diet. Just a no entire batches of cookies, shared only with Ava diet. Its not even that I need to diet really. I just need to have more willpower.

It will probably help to get out of the house more, because then I won't be sitting next to the open pantry, wondering what I can bake. Without food at my fingertips, I won't feel the need to eat it all the time. Except I have hours of homework to do, and the computer is right next to the pantry. That 72 oz bag of chocolate chips I bought at Costco isn't helping any. Stupid bag of chocolate chips. This is all it's fault.

In reality, I will never be the girl who orders salad at a restaurant. I just don't have it in me. That doesn't mean I have to eat an entire batch of cookies, but I probably will because no one is here to stop me.

Townies

2011-07-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

A new game has been invented. Hello, U.S. Patent Office? This game, played daily by Alana, has been named....drumroll please......Town.

To play Town you must: Get out every single house/barn/pet hospital/Dora's house/Rapunzel tower/Weebles treehouse type thing you own. Then take them into the living room or kitchen. You cannot play Town in your bedroom. It must be played in common areas, preferably a walkway.

Then: get all princess/prince/Zoobles/My Little Pony/fairy/mermaid/Strawberry Shortcake/random figurine of a person/animal/whatever you might have on hand. They are the citizens. They are to interact/have conversations/fight/all get on the roof to escape giant spiders. That's what people in a town do.

Listening to some pop music or a Disney movie soundtrack on your iPod will earn you bonus points when you play Town. So will incessantly asking your mommy if she would like to play Town.

Your parents will both have unique ways of playing Town. Your daddy might make the bears shoot lasers/guns and fight with the princesses. Your mommy will probably make Buzz Lightyear do laundry and the bears type at the computer, while the Zoobles all take naps. Your sister, on the other hand, is more of a Godzilla type creature when it comes to Town. She might participate occasionally, but mostly she'll just destroy it and knock stuff over.

Town is a serious game, with serious social situations. Like when Strawberry Shortcake moved to Town and didn't know anybody and was scared but then they all told her their names and everyone was friends. Or when the laser bears attack the princesses. Or when Flynn Rider is spotted out and about Town with Ariel. Both Prince Eric and all of the Rapunzel's have a serious problem with this, but it's undetermined how they found out. Maybe gossip is a big problem in Town, or maybe because the houses/towers/pet hospitals are all too close to each other, and should be moved to your room, where there's more space and your mommy won't step on the citizens.

Left Behind

2011-07-26T08:01:00.000-07:00

When I was eleven I was scheduled to go to summer camp. Escape the suffocating heat of Tucson in favor of the mountains of Prescott. I was packed. Ready. Canvas shoes with no laces. Check. Permed hair. Check. Kind of childish Alvin and the Chipmunks suitcase. Check. Purple sleeping bag. Check.

I was excited. Till the day before I was scheduled to leave. At least I thought it was the day before I was scheduled to leave. The leader of the group I was going with called my house. He wanted to know where I had been the last week when they were leaving for camp. Why I had missed camp. Why?

My dad, or me, or someone else, had gotten the dates mixed up. Probably not me, cause I was eleven and not responsible for my own social scheduling. They went without me. I had packed my stuff in vain, cause I wasn't going anywhere.

I got over that initial time of being left behind. Told myself that it was no big deal, camp wasn't really that fun. It's fine. I'll live.

I didn't know that failed church camp trip would give me a complex for the rest of my life.

Whenever I was supposed to go on an away game for cheerleading or any type of field trip, I got nervous. Sweaty palms, butterflies in my stomach, the whole thing. I packed my stuff in advance and waited anxiously for my dad to drive me there, because I was convinced that if I was not punctual they would definitely leave without me. Every away game where we left after school. Every time that I had to be somewhere early in the morning. Every leadership trip. I was so paranoid that I would be late and they would get tired of waiting and just say Whatever, we didn't want her to go anyway.

My dad always got me there in time, but every time I was convinced that I wouldn't make it. That I'd arrive to an empty parking lot and have to go back home with my bags packed. Take my discman and my snacks and return home in shame.

It even carried over into adulthood. My sister and I coached cheerleading for a couple of years and had to ride the bus with our cheerleaders and the football players. I was determined to get there early, because I just knew that the bus would leave me behind if not.

One game we actually waited almost an hour for the football coaches to all get on the bus, because they knew no one was leaving without them. But leaving a cheerleading coach would probably be an added benefit to them. On a side note, if you wanna feel old, ride a school bus with a bunch of teenagers when you're 25. You will feel like a chaperone, I guarantee it.

I've mostly gotten over this strange left behind complex, but I don't go on many field trips these days. I hope it doesn't resurface when Alana goes to school next year. I won't let my kid stay home from camp cause I got the dates mixed up.

Sometimes I'm Confused

2011-07-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I saw my neighbor, who appears to be a very strange man, walk past the back of the house. He was wearing pants and socks. No shirt, no shoes, no service. He was carrying a kitty litter box and a small shovel. I was confused and intrigued.

By the way, I'm not some kind of weird peeping tom lady, but I was sitting in our screened-in porch area so I couldn't help but see him. I tried to make it look like I wasn't watching him every time he walked by, although I'm not sure he could really see me that well through the screen. Not that the screen has some magical one-way viewing power. He could probably see me.

Several minutes later, when he had not returned, his strange lady friend walked to the area he had gone into. In the wash behind our house. In the rain. Wearing no shoes. I was still confused.

Then he came back, carrying his litter box, which he had filled with sand. He possibly does not have the money for kitty litter, so he goes into the wash and fills the litter box with sand. Gross.

Other people's actions amuse and confuse me. I don't know why my neighbor goes into the wash and fills his cat litter box with sand. I don't think anybody really knows why. It's one of life's greatest mysteries. Like why Elf is on TV in the middle of July. Or why fire ants keep trying to come into my house, then die because of the pesticide that I sprayed on the threshold of the front door. Maybe they're looking for their lost ant brothers, or maybe they're just suicidal. I don't know why Ava claims to want socks for her birthday, maybe her feet are cold. I don't know why when I sit down here to write a blog my mind is suddenly blank, so then I'm left with one blog update per week, when I used to update it daily. I don't think anyone I'm not related to even reads it anymore. No one comments anyway. It's a mystery.

Loyalty is Expensive

2011-07-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

I am, in general, opposed to change. Especially the kind that requires effort on my part. So when the cable company raised my bill $10 in the last couple of months, I just paid it and went about my business. I dislike paying that much for TV, but I did it anyway. I'm not even going to admit on here how much our monthly cable bill was, it's so ridiculous.

I've been a loyal customer with the same company for nine years. Always paid my bill on time. We ordered more than our share of pay-per-view boxing. Kept HBO the whole time even though it gets kinda expensive, but we wanna watch Entourage and Bill Maher so we tolerated it.

If no circumstances had changed, I would've continued to pay that astronomical price for cable. But there was an interference with potential football watching. David cannot miss a Cowboys game. That would be tragic. Because the televised games are given regional preference, sometimes the Cardinals games (boo!), are played instead of the Cowboys. There are options to view the Cowboys games, but they include going to someone else's house who gets all the games, or going to a sports bar to watch them. We chose neither, and decided to get the NFL Sunday Ticket for ourselves.

We happen to be lucky enough to cash in on a deal that Directv has, where new customers get Sunday Ticket for free, a package that includes every. single. football. game. It typically costs $350, so we're saving quite a bit. So we switched. I switched. I changed something. It's a miracle.

I'm going to continue my life under the pretense that I switched because by bundling my internet and TV I can save $50 a month, but the real honest reason was football. I could've talked the cable company down to a better price, but they don't have the football. Football has influenced another thing in my life.

When fall gets here and football starts, I'm facing nine hours of football each Sunday. David already announced plans to watch it all. Hooray.

This post makes it seem like all I've done lately is cancel my cable, but in reality I've spent six hours a day since Monday doing homework. That put me a little bit ahead of schedule, but not too far since my classes are so short.

I've done other stuff too. I promise. Like buy 72 ounces of chocolate chips at Costco, which was a bad idea. Now the voice inside my head keeps telling me to make cookies, and I usually listen.

We also took the plunge and bought a window air conditioner for our bedroom. After seven years of living with only a swamp cooler in AZ, we now have one air conditioned room. Right after my dad installed it, complete with a big piece of plywood to cover the rest of the window and make us look like rednecks, it did not get over 100 degrees here for a week. It wasn't too humid and it was cloudy, so our swamp cooler worked fine. Now part of me wants it to get super hot for a few days, to justify buying the thing.

In what should've been front-page news, I got a new lens. It's pretty huge, my camera won't fit into the case with it on. I couldn't pass up the deal that Target had on it, so I got it. We had every intention of going to the park to use it, but when we got there some crackhead guy told us he had just heard gunshots and the cops were on their way, so we detoured to my in-laws backyard. Benson is so classy sometimes.

I actually zoomed the lens out all the way, and Alana still filled the frame when she was about ten feet away from me. I'm a fan so far.

Alana really has a Rapunzel shirt for every occasion.

David is incapable of taking a picture of me jumping. We tried like ten times, but everytime I looked like an idiot.

David enjoys taking unflattering pics of me when I'm not looking.

Me and Alana

The scrunch-face is Ava's go-to face for pictures. Highlights all of her best feature.

This week I'm probably gonna spend another 30 hours doing homework, so if no one hears from me for awhile I'm not dead, I'm just recalling why I hate MLA format.

You May Be Right. I May Be Crazy.

2011-07-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

Recently the voice in my head told me this: It's a good idea to take two five week long summer classes at the same time. It won't be a ton of work. Do it. Go on. So I did. And it wasn't a good idea, it was a bad one. That involves lots of homework all due at the same time, because they're condensed versions of regular classes. Same amount of work, 1/4 the time frame. I haven't even showered in two days because I have so much homework. The voice in my head is going down for this one.

It also said Let Alana wear the lego bucket on her head while she walks around singing to her ipod. She looks cute. Ten seconds later she walked face first into a wall, then cried for ten minutes.

Sometimes it tells me cookies would be good for breakfast. Or to go ahead and give Secret Life of the American Teenager another shot, cause it could've improved since the last time I watched it. It says that finding a misplaced sippy cup with milk in it can wait till tomorrow. It often wants me to wager all of my money on Final Jeopardy, then I lose with $0. It's been known to tell me to wear jeans in summer, then my legs feel like they're on fire. Don't avert your eyes when emptying ice cube trays, none will hit your eyes. Go ahead and stand at the window staring at fighting groundhog/prairie dog creatures for ten minutes. It won't be a waste of time. Let Alana have Bruno Mars' The Lazy Song on her ipod, it's not at all inappropriate when she sings Let everything hang loose or Find a really nice girl have some really nice....I guess if a song is on a Kidz Bop CD then it's not too horrible.

There's another part of my brain that doesn't suffer from bad judgment, just lack of memory. I can't remember where I put my chapstick, and I have to have chapstick on my lips at all times. I don't know any phone numbers that belong to phones we don't own, but I know my chocolate chip cookie recipe by heart. I can still remember every word of every song in the Little Mermaid, but I forget at least one thing at the grocery store every week, even with a list.

The mind works in mysterious ways. I cannot tell you why I have trouble buying one thing that costs $50, but no trouble buying 5 things that cost $10. It's unknown why David doesn't like marshmallows but likes rice krispy treats. I'm not sure why Alana will only let me brush her hair slowly, because she says it hurts less that way. And Ava will only lick steak, not actually chew it up and eat it. As long as I remember to hug my kids everyday I may be able to keep my mind intact, but it's unknown how long I can retain my sanity.

Studious

2011-07-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the first day of my summer classes. Who needs an actual summer vacation, when you can have half of one? I'm taking two five week classes, and they're both three credits each, so I'm sure they'll be super condensed and fast-paced.

Sociology should be okay, and David is taking it next semester so he doesn't have to buy the book. I think to be fair he should pay me for it, since my pell grant bought this copy. I'll accept other forms of payment, such as housework.

Writing should be a cakewalk, in theory, except I'm faced with my current case of summertime writer's block. Somedays words flow so easily from my fingers, while other days I stare at the screen blankly, with zero inspiration. Alana's very loud off-key singing is one of the factors, but I'm mostly blaming the cold I've been fighting for two plus weeks. I've felt crappy, and crappy translates to no writing, which means I don't feel like blogging.

I'm almost tentatively marginally excited to take a writing class. Writing is easy for me. Or maybe it's just that I'm so happy to not be taking any math classes. I'm done with math. Hooray! No more algebra, until I take chemistry, which will inevitably include some math. Sad.

The past month and a half, when I've had no homework or anything to occupy my time, I've been kind of lost. My kids play together so nicely most of the time, so there's times when I could be doing something productive, but I have nothing to do. I need a hobby. So now that I have something with purpose to occupy my time, I will probably suddenly become super busy and wondering how I will accomplish things. At least that will make the hot sticky months of summer go by a little bit faster. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll earn a couple of A's!

Possibly Illegal and a Small Museum Adventure

2011-07-09T20:50:00.000-07:00

I don't believe I've ever waited this long to post pictures and talk about a holiday. I guess technically I talked about the 4th on the actual day, but things happened after that post. Exciting things. Like possibly illegal sparklers, cuddling of kittens and a family photo op. Then my ladies and I went on a field trip to the Tucson Children's Museum. Like, an actual field trip, I'm not just calling it that. We went with my sister and half the city of Benson on a school sponsored field trip. It was fun, but slightly hectic. I could've done without Chucke Cheese, but that's because I'm almost 30 and a little too old for the rides.

We went by my parent's house for a double-duty, double-birthday party cookout. I think this bush and their porch is the backdrop for half of my family pictures. Hey, it's green, it's in the shade and there's a built in seat. It's like it's asking to be in my picture.

There's no clothing more patriotic than Dallas Cowboys clothing. End of story.

Also patriotic: kittens. I personally don't care for cats, but hand me a soft fuzzy kitten and I can't help but gush over it's cuteness. They feel the same way.

After the kittens/bbq/birthday party, we loaded up our sparklers and headed to David's parents house. As far as we know, they were perfectly legal. Then someone on facebook said the cops came and told them to put their's out because they weren't. They somebody else said that only fireworks that you shoot off of the ground were illegal. It's possible that we were unknowingly breaking the law. Fewer things are more American than lighting stuff on fire in celebration, so I think it was justified.

For the first ten minutes we had issues lighting the sparklers because it was so windy/rainy. David and I were both convinced they were duds. A waste. But then, after huddling inside the doorway with a box of matches and lots of determination, we got one to light. Victory!

Ava was uninterested in the sparkly fire, but Alana thought they were awesome. She must've done half of the 40something sparklers, then when we were out she wanted more.

Since half of AZ just burned down there were no fireworks in our town, but we watched some on TV from the comfort of our couch. Not as loud and I don't even have to stand outside, so it works for me.

After that our week was uneventful, until yesterday when we went to the museum. Alana was hyped, because she's been asking to go there for like two months. It's my fault, since I showed her the website, she's been a little obsessed. Her dream came true. She hung on a dinosaur statue, played pet doctor, stepped on virtual bugs and grocery shopped. I think half of what she was excited for was that her cousins were going, and that means automatic fun for her. Ava was less impressed, but still played. I think I took as many pictures of my niece Brinley as I did of my own kids. She just looks so cute with her little pigtails!

Last stop was Chucke Cheese. I was less than thrilled, but it was free, so beggars can't be choosers. The kids loved the rides, especially the under two crowd. One quarter bought them a little bit of excitement. Best part is it wasn't my quarter.

I didn't see my older two nephews once they were set free to play games, I guess that's the beauty of Chucke Cheese. So many video games, so little time. But Alana and Jayden stayed close and they're easily amused. By a ride that goes like 3 feet in the air.

I'll definitely go to the museum again. But Chucke Cheese is another story.

Frozen Fourth

2011-07-04T09:36:00.000-07:00

This fourth of July we're staying in, eating tons of frozen treats, we literally have like 5 boxes of popsicles and ice cream in the freezer, including some cotton candy push-up pops, and sitting on our butts.

There are no fireworks here in Benson this here, since they don't want to set the town on fire and they also have no money. So we'll probably light a few sparklers and watch some fireworks on TV and call it a night. Then I'll eat another couple of cookie ice cream sandwiches and consider the weekend a success, except for the part where I was forced to watch Transformers.

Life is Messy

2011-06-30T10:48:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me recently how I keep my house so clean. At first I hesitated. Do I reveal my secret, and therefore make it so other people's houses are also clean? I decided to take my chances. My secret to a clean house is this: I clean it all the time. Constantly. I vacuum everyday and pick up toys countless times and wash the dishes after every single meal.

Life is messy. Kids are messy. I have two small hurricanes going through my house making messes all the time. I do make them pick up their toys, but they're little and can't exactly do all of the chores. That day will come soon enough. I have two choices when it comes to cleaning up their messes: Pick them up as they make them so that it only takes a few minutes and my house doesn't look like it's being taken over by toys. Or: Leave them all and wait a day or two so that the mess has piled up and is taller than me.

I choose pick them up, because my sanity is on the line. It's easier to pick them up little by little, and stepping on legos hurts. Bad. Big piles of laundry take way longer to put away then one load with a couple pairs of pajamas. Dirty dishes are gross. If they're overflowing from the sink onto the counter then I have to wash them. But life is still messy. My kids are still messy. I have proof.

Symptoms

2011-06-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

Normal everyday life has been on hiatus at our house for the past four days. Ava got kind of sniffly, then graciously shared her germs with David and I.

We started to get sick Friday with a sore throat, which carried over to Saturday and was then joined by a runny/stuffy nose. Sunday the sore throat kindly bid farewell, but solid head congestion stopped by for a visit, joined by some all out fatigue. Monday arrived with a cough that made me feel like my brain was rattling around in my head and someone was stepping on my larynx. Today all symptoms are less than before, but still crappy.

Ava seems to have rebounded mostly, but she was about a day and a half ahead of us. Alana didn't join in on the fun until yesterday afternoon, but she still refuses to admit that she's sick. I'm still amazed that they're able to play and function with the same cold that I have, because I can barely drag myself out of bed. While I'm struggling to hold up the weight of my head, my "sick" kids are running around and playing.

You can tell by the weekend's menu that we weren't feeling great. All I cooked was egg sandwiches and spaghetti, but I had made the stuff for spaghetti the day before. Brownies I had made Friday to eat throughout the weekend sat on the counter virtually untouched the whole weekend, and I threw away the whole pan this morning. They were stale and I still don't really feel like eating anything but honey nut cheerios and peanut butter sandwiches. I don't even really like honey nut cheerios, but our cereal selection is limited until I go get groceries.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we all feel better for the holiday weekend, although with half of AZ on fire we will have no fireworks. Fourth of July is probably my least favorite holiday, because it's so fricking hot. We typically go to a parade at 9 am, and by the time we leave it's over 100 degrees and we're all sweaty and red faced. This year we're taking a different approach and skipping the parade. I think instead we'll revert to our favorite summer activity of going to the movies. Nothing sounds funner to me than sitting in an air conditioned room. Cars 2 and stupid Transformers 3 are both likely candidates, and we'll probably see both.

Right now I'm being held hostage by Alana's insistence on watching home movies constantly. They get old quickly. Wait...I just checked in on Alana and the home movies have bored her to sleep. Yes! I think I'll take advantage of two sleeping kids and go watch TV.

Sick Day

2011-06-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

There are few things in life that wake you up faster than a puking kid in the middle of the night. Coffee and energy drinks have got nothing on the adrenaline rush of trying to avoid being thrown up on.

Last night Ava was really restless and rolling around like a crazy girl at 3 am, so I picked her up and headed out to the living room. I stopped at the linen closet to grab a blanket and just as I picked one up she started to gag and puke. Not your ordinary run-of-the-mill puke. Bbq chip puke. My instinct told me to lean her over the floor, to avoid being puked on. If there was a gold medal for avoiding being thrown up on, I would've won it. Put that in the olympics. It's harder than sychronized swimming. Puke ended up on the blanket and the floor and Ava.

I had to clean it, which meant touching soggy bbq chips. I'm still traumatized. I can't even look at the bag. Then I sprinkled some baking soda on it to avoid the always enticing smell of stale puke and headed to the couch to sleep with my baby the rest of the night.

Sick babies are one thing. But when I feel crappy too it's even worse. I have some sore throat/congestion issues today. I haven't been sick in so long I forgot how much it sucks. I really love breathing through my nose. It's the best. I miss it when it's gone.

The thing about being a mom, especially a stay-at-home mom, is you can't call in sick to work. Back in my pre-children days, if I was sick, rest was only a phone call away. I even got paid for my absense. That's a huge benefit. Sometimes I'd go to work anyway when I was sick, but I took comfort in knowing that when I got home I could go straight to bed. But when you're job is taking care of some stinky ladies all day, you're always on the job. I can't call in. No one will pay me to lay in bed everyday. No one pays me for anything, except in little girl hugs and kisses.

When I'm sick, and so is Ava, and so is David, I'm still on the job. Ava is wiping her boogers on me and David is watching boxing. I'm pretty much left to take care of myself. Alana is still healthy, so she can fetch the occasional thing, but she's only four and she's not my slave. I'll enslave her more when she can cook me stuff and drive.

I'm on the clock all the time, because motherhood doesn't rest for a head cold. It should take a one day hiatus for my birthday though.

I'm ready for bed. Typing is tiring.

Cousins are the coolest

2011-06-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

There's something undeniably cool about an older cousin. Something mysterious. Alluring.

They have different toys than you. Different parents. Sometimes they can give you a piggyback ride, which is awesome. They can build anything out of legos. They are ready made friends, who you've known your whole life.

I remember thinking my older cousins were the coolest people ever. They had different toys. They had different parents. They were mysterious. Now Alana thinks that her cousins are the coolest. Grayson's so strong, he can pick me up. Colby's so funny, he kept giving me bunny ears in all the pictures. Jayden's so fun, we were playing zombie mom & dad. Brinley's so cute, she ate your chapstick. I forgot that if you leave your purse on the floor by a crawling baby, they will get into it. And she needed to make some calls. Check her facebook and stuff.

My kids only have 4 first cousins, which is kind of a tiny number around these parts. Especially since there are so many kids in my family. My sister and I are the only ones with any offspring so far, and David's only got one brother who has yet to marry and reproduce.

Growing up around your cousins is fun and fulfilling, because it guarantees some sort of playmate at most family functions. When you have a cousin who's only 3 weeks younger, you've always got someone who thinks your jokes are funny and who you can refuse to share your toys with. Ava doesn't have anyone that close in age, but Brinley is only one year younger, so eventually she'll catch up and be ready to have some adventures too.

Playing dress up, eating chapstick, watching wimpy kid movies and giving bunny ears to people while hiding behind them in the picture are only a few of the adventures they've had recently. I'm sure they'll have many more and get into their share of trouble.

Father's Day Bi-laws

2011-06-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

There are rules that must be followed in order to have a proper Father's day. At least my husband thinks so.

Father's day should be celebrated the entire weekend, starting with Friday afternoon.
Breakfast meats such as bacon and sausage should be in abundance. If at all possible eat them with every meal.
Fathers should not do any type of household chore the entire weekend. Or at any other point ever.
Fathers should be allowed to nap. On the couch. Then complain that people keep bothering them. Cause they're in the middle of the living room.
A minimum of 50% of the weekend should be spent sitting/laying on the couch, in full possession of the remote control. Bare minimum.

These rules were all followed very strictly here. No room for error. Next year I'm writing some rules for Mother's day, because I got screwed out of sleeping in.

My girls definitely love their daddy. They watch zombie shows and music videos with him. They are always trying to get into the shower with him. They dutifully wave goodbye at the window everyday when he goes to work. They even let him have the remote control whenever he's home. That's love.

Alana made a masterpiece of a card. She should work for Hallmark.

Watching Daddy leave for work

An obligatory picture with Daddy

Victims of Alana

2011-06-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

This decapitated Barbie and lonely right shoe have been victimized by my child.

Today Alana left a shoe at McDonald's. Seriously. Who leaves a shoe at McDonald's? And then mentions it casually once you're on the freeway and can't exactly make a u-turn? Alana does. So I called them, and asked them to look for my shoe. They couldn't find it. R.I.P. $2 Old Navy flip flop. You will be missed. Especially by the right shoe, who will now be getting thrown out, because what good is one shoe when you have two feet.

Barbie will never be the same. Giant forehead and ratty hair aside, she could've done something with her life. Started up a relationship with Flynn Rider, because Rapunzel is too busy for him now with her newfound fame and we don't have a Ken doll. Driven around in one of our two convertible Barbie cars, corvette or Volkswagen, her choice. Spent more time with the Littlest Pet shop gang, because who doesn't like a pig on a tricycle? But now all of that is behind her, due to headlessness.

Who will be the next victim?

Last Train to Crazyville

2011-06-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

Every mother, whether they're willing to admit it or not, has moments when their children drive them a little bit crazy. It doesn't mean you don't love them, it just means that you, and they, are human. My ladies drive me crazy everyday. I still think they're cute though. Who wouldn't? Look at them.

Every day is filled with ups and downs. Like when Ava sticks her finger in my wet toenail polish, which is annoying. But then she holds her chubby little foot out to me to paint her nails. So how can I resist her cuteness? I cannot. I paint her nails, then help her blow on them till they're dry. Or when Alana tells Ava to do bratty things at the store, like hang on the cart. But then she sits nicely in the cart, behaving and not asking for candy. It still confuses me that my four year old will sit in the cart, but my one year old thinks she's too big.

When you have more than one kid, they're not always going to agree on everything. Sometimes one will cry because she doesn't want to watch Gnomeo & Juliet, but the other one does. Sometimes one of them isn't interested in a toy until her sister starts playing with it, then it becomes the. most. awesome. toy. ever. It must be played with immediately. Part of the mom resume includes being a referee. But then the same bratty children also comfort and hug each other. That's when I really like them.

Ava makes the saddest crying face humanly possible. Alana doesn't care. She still insists on watching a movie that Ava doesn't like. But then they eat popcorn nicely together on the floor.

Sometimes they're so good I almost think they're planning something, like world domination. Then I walk into the living room and the floor is covered in crushed goldfish crackers. The only plan was to drive me crazy. World domination can wait. After I vacuum for the third time in one day I dream about hiding in my closet with some ice cream.

That's not what I usually do, because my closet is dark and they will find me. They always find me.

After I've reached the end of my patience and David is home for the night, they usually behave themselves. Look Daddy, we're so nice. Buy us stuff! I don't care, as long as they're good. Beggars can't be choosers.

Cuteness and sweetness, plus an ability to say hilarious things and rock a Rapunzel shirt everyday of the week, are Alana redeeming qualities. She has a fiery temper, and will give me the cold shoulder when I make her mad. She always forgives me though, cause I'm awesome like that. Plus, she will inevitably fall asleep, and that's when she's nicest.

Ava's a baby, so it's harder for me to get mad at her. She's cute and squishy. Her mullet rocks. She dances along to music on the TV, growls and grunts her way through the day, and makes her mean face just often enough. She gets more excited about bubbles than I get for anything, even York Peppermint Patties. She will eat as much white chocolate as possible, she's not a quitter. And her long eyelashes really push her cuteness over the limit.

She always gets bubbles in her hair. Crazy lady.

It doesn't hurt one bit that she looks so cute when she's asleep. And her big sister makes sure to give her a toy to snuggle with, in case she gets lonely during her nap.

At the end of the day, when my kids are asleep and it's nice and quiet, I'm most grateful to be a mom. Even when they're fighting and screaming and crushing goldfish crackers into the carpet. I just tell myself that eventually they have to go to bed, then they'll be nice.

A Convenient Haunting

2011-06-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

There was a time in our house where everything that Alana was accused of was blamed on Ava. Somebody wrote Alana's name all over a bunch of stuff? That was Ava. Somebody took all of the books out of the cupboard when Ava was asleep? Ava. Without question. Somebody took off Alana's pants and left them on the floor? Ava. No hesitation. Always Ava.

Now that Ava can deny acts of mischief with the emphatic shaking of her head, someone else must be blamed. Alana is never the guilty party. Not when she's the only kid awake, not when I see her do it, not when nobody else could've possibly done it. It's never Alana.

There has to be somebody to step in. To take the blame. Accept responsibility for the wrong doings. That someone must be strong enough to take the punishment. Humble enough to admit fault. Brave enough to take the blame. Or invisible enough to escape it all. Who fits this last description? A ghost of course.

Yes it seems we have a ghost. A literate ghost who writes Alana's name on things. A troublesome ghost who makes Ava cry. A sneaky ghost who gets into the Cheetos. A mean ghost who doesn't allow Alana to share.

This ghost is always around when something bad happens, but it's so quick and sneaky that I never see it. It's a ghost of the most invisible type, who cannot be seen by any mommy, just by children, so that they may blame it for stuff. Does the ghost mind taking the blame? I don't know, because it's so fast that I never catch up to it to ask.

I'd like to have five minutes with this ghost, one on one face time, to get inside it's ghost brain. Really get to know it. Ask why it tries to frame my children, especially Alana, for it's mischievous crimes.

I hope this ghost isn't a longterm resident, but since I can't talk with it to ask, I'll never know. And since I've seen the movie Little Monsters, I can't entirely rule out the possibility of a third party causing trouble in my house. Anything is possible.

A ghost spilled these M&M's, then told Alana not to clean them up.

Kinda Sorta Maybe a Little Bit Lazy

2011-06-12T19:50:00.000-07:00

I'm a slacker. My blog has collected dust. The unthinkable has occured: I washed my hair more in one week than I posted on my blog. I posted one time this week, and it was a half-hearted attempt at best.

My blog currently lacks an abundance of recent posts. Every idea I have for a post is just a crazy random thought, which is fleeting and not substantial enough to fill a page. As thoughts pass through my head while I drift off to sleep I often think That would be a good blog post. But then I forget, cause I'm half asleep. I don't want to feel pressure to blog, because that would be doing it for the wrong reasons. I want to record my life as a digital scrapbook of sorts, but free, cause scrapbooking is way too expensive.

Maybe I should just put some of my random thoughts in one post, but not as a whole random list of crap, cause that's what I do when I'm super lazy, and I can manage more energy than that. So instead I think I will give one huge run-on sentence of random things. Ready. Okay. Here goes: I'm ready for the stupid NBA finals to be over, thank goodness it's the last game and the Mavericks are probably gonna win, not that David really cared either way, he just had to watch; Ava can take off her diaper, which isn't a new skill, but has become more frequent, and she peed on the potty, totally on purpose, at 22 months of age, but then pooped on the floor the same week; my router broke, so I'm a slave to the desktop without any wireless internet signal, and I really wish my computer wasn't next to the pantry where I'm looking at donuts and cake mixes all day; we're not really morning people, so we've all been sleeping in till at least 8 am each day, which has allowed me to stay up till 11 every night, which I love doing; as much as I'm glad it's summer, I really hate getting in my car after it's been sitting in the sun all day and I'm so dreading the eventual humidity next month which will render my swamp cooler obsolete; And the award for longest run-on sentence ever in one blog post goes to.......ME! I don't know what to say! I should thank people. Thanks to my peeps, and stupid facebook for distracting me from posting on my blog till I have so much to say that it forms one long sentence! Thanks to the AZ heat for making me kinda extra lazy! Thanks to my lack of motivation! Thanks to my former followers, who rudely unfollowed me which I always kind of take personally, so suck it! Alright, moving on already.

I did get out of my house quite a bit more than the norm, which accounts for my craziness, but not laziness. We went to storytime, which was deemed a success. I grocery shopped child-free, which was wonderful, even if it was at 6 am. We went swimming in freezing cold water, which was at first cold but then refreshing. We saw Super 8, which was awesome. I had a chocolate milkshake while watching it, which was equally awesome. I got some snazzy 80's looking sunglasses, so now David keeps calling me Ferris Bueller. We went to Target, which is always a cause for celebration, but I did not manage to purchase any of the stuff I put into my cart for myself. Instead I opted for birthday presents for Ava and my niece Brinley, even though both of their birthdays are in August.
Perhaps the most anticipated and nerve wracking event of my weekend was taking pictures of a friend's wedding. I felt tons of pressure to be good, even though I'm only a hobbyist photographer and I've only had my dSLR since February. My camera and I are best buds though and I've been using it on manual since day one, so I pushed through it. The posed couple and group shots were a breeze, mostly because we were outside, in great sunset light which I had prearranged. Oh how I love sunflare. LOVE. But the inside more candid pictures were a different story. It was a dark and wood panelled bar. There were at least five other people with their own personal camera/phone taking pictures at the same time as me, which was kind of disorienting but I can't hate on them for wanting pictures. Pictures are priceless. And have I ever mentioned that I loathe using the flash? No? Well, I do. It's ugly and harsh. I dream of an off-camera flash, but it's not really the most practical thing I dream of.

I managed to get some okay shots inside, but not great. I do really love the outside shots though. Sunflare = happy me. And the golden hour truly is magical. Although we almost missed the sunlight altogether trying to round up members of the wedding party. It's like they didn't want to be in pictures. Crazy.

Again, I love me some sunflare. It's just plain awesome.

I love when babies cooperate, instead of just staring down my huge camera. Awesome!

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go neglect my blog for a little while.

Uneventful Storytime

2011-06-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

I took these wild children of mine to storytime at the library. They had cabin fever and storytime is free, so it seemed like a great solution. Best part for Alana is that it involved a craft, and coloring is her forte. It was one hour of fun, books, and impatiently crawling around the carpet in a public place. And it was free. Free!

Alana dutifully posed for a picture by the giant quilt thing that they made. It's quite a masterpiece.

More of the Same & Why I Would Make a Terrible Hostage Negotiator

2011-06-05T18:28:00.000-07:00

My life has been somewhat monotonous lately. I'm in a blogging rut, do to the absence of any kind of blogable event or thoughts. I'm in a dinner rut, do to lack of appetite caused by a 3 pm snack and complete boredom with everything I have ingredients for. There's nothing on TV, except crappy reality TV shows that I would consider torture to watch. It's hot outside, and I have a low tolerance for the heat.

Everyday seems like the exact replica of the previous one. Wake up. Change Ava's diaper. Watch cartoons. Look at Facebook. Vacuum. Eat breakfast. Change Ava's diaper. Wash dishes. Maybe wash and dry hair. Big maybe. Sweep and mop. Cartoons. Change Ava's diaper. Pick up toys. Bike riding indoors. Bubbles. Break up a fight or two. Diaper change. Snack. Dishes. Change Ava's diaper. Barbies. Pick up toys. Coloring. Hide and go seek. Pick up toys. Cartoons. Lunch. Dishes. Laundry. Dishes. Disagreements over what to watch on TV. Cartoons. Change Ava's diaper. Decide what to cook for dinner. Eat something unhealthy and unnecessary. Play-doh. Pick up toys. Dinner. Dishes. Sweep again. Pick up toys. Break up more fighting. I'm a regular referee. Playing with random Disney toys. Cartoons. Change Ava's diaper. She's kind of a poop factory these days. Maybe a bath, if the ladies are looking grubby. Pajamas. Bed.

We did manage to break free yesterday to watch Kung Fu Panda 2. I'm a rebel without a cause and brought my own candy. A bag of Cookies and Cream Hershey's Kisses and Sour Patch Watermelons. As strong as my love of said watermelons is, it's not strong enough to pay $7.99 a pound. Then I somehow managed to buy myself something with some leftover financial aid money, before spending the rest on useless crap and stuff my kids didn't need.

The fun of the day was jeopardized when Alana put us in a hostage situation with Mermaid Dora at Toys R Us. She refused to settle for one toy. We refused to buy both. Negotiations were made. She wouldn't budge. She kept asking. And asking. She left the store with zero toys. Buckling her into the car was quite a dramatic scene, involving tears, sweat and pleading, from all parties. At one point I wanted to leave her and David at Toys R Us to work through it, but neither of them would have compromised and they would've eventually ended up just living there, forever locked in a no-deal situation.

Sometimes I think it would just be easier to give her what she wants. Give my little bank robber one million dollars and a helicopter to escape. But that would definitely send her the wrong message. I cannot negotiate with terrorists, or they will start to think I'm going to give in to all of their demands.

Tomorrow is Monday, and that means starting the whole routine over again. Dinner planning has become the bane of my existence. I'm tired of chicken. I'm tired of trying to talk my stubborn and dramatic child into things that she will never do. I'm tired of Wow Wow Wubbzy.

I need a nap. I'm grouchy and short on patience. I miss naps. They are a distant memory. I'd like a nap, where I can dream of wearing my new cute shoes, that my children are obsessed with, to lots of fun places. Places where the air conditioner is on full blast, and someone brings me a giant chocolate ice cream cone. Like at Jason's Deli, where they have free ice cream cones, all the time, and delicious club sandwiches with avocado. Or maybe I'll just wear them outside while my kids play in the sprinkler in their cute new bathing suits. Bathing suit wedgies on little girls are one of my favorite things, and just might help me remember how much I love these little monsters.

Some sexy one-shoulder bathing suit action going on here. And sprinkler running. Always some sprinkler running.

Children Can Smell Fear

2011-05-31T16:17:00.000-07:00

There are some days, as a parent, when I think it would be easier to put out a bowl of goldfish crackers and hide in my closet until David gets home from work. Days when Ava, who doesn't bother with carrots or formalities and eats ranch straight off of her hand, spills an entire bowl of ranch on the living room carpet. Days when Alana stands by the front door, crying and repeating her demand to go outside, for 20 minutes, until she eventually runs out of energy.

Some days are difficult, because children are little people, with their own big opinions. Especially mine. They have very big opinions.

Alana is possibly the most stubborn person ever put onto this earth. She's a girl who knows what she wants, and she refuses to budge. Bribery doesn't work. Neither do threats. The only way to win is to be the last man standing. My will, which is only occasionally strong, must outlast hers. Her four-year-old will is strong, stubborn, opinionated and does not know when to call it quits.

Ava is not nearly as stubborn. It's possible that she is affected by birth order, and her natural place as second born means that she is more easy going. She goes with the flow, because she doesn't know any other way. She can allow for other people's opinions, because she has compromised since birth.

There are some situations in life where strong will is a good thing. When faced with peer pressure, it's probably better to not budge. When faced with your mommy telling you no, just listen. Because I'm not changing my mind on whether or not you will ever be allowed to stand on top of the recliner.

The only thing that matches Alana's stubborness is the debate about who she inherited it from. I say David. He says me. Don't let anyone else fool you, it's David. I'm stubborn on occasion, but more frequently a pushover. David is never a pushover. Never.

My only choice when faced with the World's Most Stubborn Child is to become the World's Most Stubborn Mommy. Outlast Alana's standoffs with the rules of life. Outsmart a four-year-old. I may have to say no 1,000 times in one day, and I will. Giving in will teach her that her tactics are successful, and I can't have that. I'm the boss. Not Alana. I'm a first born too. I can be bossy.

Eventually she has to fall asleep. Then I can remember that she can be nice too. Not just the World's Most Stubborn Child.

Summer Fun Time

2011-05-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

It may not technically be summer, but it's already hot. Yesterday it was about 95, and today it feels the same. Hot.

There are ways to cope. You can try to beat the heat. You get into your car and feel like you're suffocating. So you go to the public pool, which is overrun by hooligans and teenage girls in impossibly small bathing suits. The water is freezing, but you're only in the wading pool. That's okay, because it still feels good on your feet. Your baby, looking cute in her cherry bathing suit and pigtails, will ease herself in over a fifteen minute period. Toes first. Then the whole foot. Then the other. Then her Pinocchio toy. Then legs, up to the calf. Eventually she's standing in the one foot water, laughing. Her sister is rolling around in the water like a crazy person.

You can play in the sprinklers with your cousins. One of them will keep sitting on the water, then run at the person with the camera with the sprinkler. Boys are definitely wilder than girls. You can swing around in the yard, waiting for someone to push you. Then get out and ease your way into playing in the sprinkler, one drop of water at a time. It's a good time.

Other must do items for us this summer: eat many cups of ice. Also eat lots of popsicles, push-up pops and otter pops. Cookie ice cream sandwiches work too, but they require work. Run in the sprinklers. Go to the movies, at least for 4th of July. Go to the Children's Museum, to get your kid to stop asking. Go shopping, when you have an extra paycheck and money. Buy glow-in-the-dark sidewalk chalk, because it looks like fun. Play. Take large amounts of pictures. I've got that part down pat.

Who-Bob Lazypants

2011-05-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

Nearly everytime I log on to blogger, which is at least twice a day, I tell myself I should write a blog. Just a little something, keep it up to date. Not much. A few words here and there, a cute picture of my ladies, of which I have an abundance. But then, I log out, and resume life.

Somewhere in the laziness of my one month of summer vacation, I've lost the motivation to accomplish things. I still do my housework, but without homework to do I kind of find myself at a loss. Nothing pressing to do, so I do nothing. Check facebook, look at a few blogs, barely comment on those blogs, build forts, bake bread and cookies, take 1,000 pictures of my kids. Those things fill my long days. Nowhere in there do I include dressing my children everyday, washing my hair, mopping my kitchen, or doing laundry before the hamper is overflowing.

Maybe I'm embracing the true laziness of summer, or what I'm gonna call my summer break. I'm taking two summer classes, but they don't start until July. Of course that means that I won't get any of my financial aid money till June, which seems like forever away. But it means I can earn six more credits over the summer, when most people are doing nothing. Last semester I didn't exactly apply myself, and now my GPA is only 3.5, which irritates me. Especially because my easy religion class, in which I never studied and basically had to watch crappy movies and such, only earned me a B. I got an 89%. I missed getting an A by 16 points, which could've been easily earned. If I had only watched the horrible movie Passion of the Christ, then I would've passed the test for it, and gotten an A. So simple. But slacker me couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to watch that horrible violent movie. And I paid the price.

I try to keep busy. I've built an awesome fort, played several rounds of Mr Potato Head, baked bread and made jam. But I still have a lot of hours in my day where I feel like I should be doing something, but I'm not. So I take pictures of my cute and bratty children, which I will post on here, and hope that I magically get a hobby that is time consuming but I will grow tired of before July. It should be free too.

In the meantime we are gonna plan a really awesome fourth of July weekend, cause that's when we'll have some extra money again. I'm thinking Kung Fu Panda 2, or Cars 2. Lots of grilled food, including ribs. And Alana is dying to go to the Tucson Children's Museum, ever since I showed her their website. She asks to look at it every. Single. Day. And as for June, we will be doing anything that's cheap or free. Library storytime. Public pool. Anything to pass the time and beat the heat.

Now for random pictures:

Alana can always be counted on to hold still for a picture.

Some outdoor time at the end of the day is just enough to get them nice and tired.

I'm not the only lazy one.

This may be the most random post ever on my blog, but I have a scattered brain this morning. Sorry.

Fresh Baked Love

2011-05-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

I cannot imagine a life where I'm unable to just go to the store, in my car, and buy whatever it is that I need. Bread, milk, eggs, cheese, king size Snickers bars, you know, necessities. Everything we need is within our reach, we don't have to do any extra work to acquire it.

If people were unable to buy simple things like bread, how many of them would even know how to make their own? Not many. Tons of people can't even cook themselves simple things, they rely on pre-packaged convenience food, which for the most part, I am opposed to. I don't do Hamburger Helper or Chef Boyardee. Can't say the same thing about David, he loves Chef Boyardee. I might eat a slice of frozen pizza once in awhile, but I'd rather make my own.

As a former fast food employee, I am all too familiar with the huge number of people who don't cook their own food. Here in Benson that number seems huge. I'd see the same people, day after day, eating fast food hamburgers. They had to be sick of them, I know I was. When I quit my fast food job and went to work at a utility company, I was faced with the same people. Many of the same people who I saw day after day at Wendy's, who just couldn't live without their double stack, never paid their gas and water bill promptly. They made excuses and payment arrangements, and were dangerously close to losing service every month. But they had money for a hamburger. I guess they didn't need their gas that much anyway, since they didn't use it to cook.

I view cooking as an essential life skill. I'm not going to go to a restaurant every time I'm hungry, though I do appreciate a trip to Chili's for some cheese fries as much as the next girl. My family needs to be fed, and I'm a particularly hungry girl. The past year my quest for culinary dominance has had me making yeast breads. Pretzels, pizza dough, rolls, french bread. My favorite, carb filled foods. Today I find myself conquering my final yeast bread frontier: homemade bread.

As much as I love a good quick bread, zucchini, pumpkin, banana, I have never made a simple loaf of white bread. Till today. As I type, my kitchen is filled with one of my favorite smells ever, freshly baked bread. I haven't tasted it yet, but I've kneaded my share of dough in my life, so I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm gonna spread it with some strawberry freezer jam I made yesterday, and eat a minimum of three pieces.

On a side note, if you've never had freezer jam, you have to try it. It's so much yummier and fresher tasting than regular jam, because the fruit isn't cooked. And if you're like me and don't have any fancy canning stuff, it doesn't matter. You just put it into a plastic container. So easy! And I just used the recipe that was included with the pectin!

Now that I've sufficiently ranted on about cooking, I'd also like to say that I don't think everything needs to be made from scratch. I personally never put cream-of-anything soup into my food, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that. I like to cook, because I like to eat. I cook with love, because everything I make is going into the bellies of people I love. Ava has a weakness for my chocolate chip cookies, while Alana is a fan of pretzels.

My love of eating has led me to this:

It did not disappoint. I've eaten two pieces so far. Yum.

On an unrelated, I didn't cook this but it's delicious note, to supplement my bread and jam eating, I think I'll have a few of these too. Mmmmm. $5 cheese. I know it has a name, but to me it's defined by it's price tag. $5 for six little cheeses. It's a splurge, to say the least. Last night, when faced with the decision of Starbucks or $5 cheese, I thought outside the box and went with the cheese. Too bad my kids keep stealing it from me.

My Uterus is the Boss

2011-05-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

I did not plan on getting pregnant with Alana. She was a surprise. A surprise I love, but a surprise nonetheless. I liked my surprise so much I decided I needed another one. Not so much a surprise, but an invited guest.

When I did plan on getting pregnant, I had a miscarriage. So much for planning. I set myself for heartache. For disappointment. I tried to purposely plan something that's not a sure thing, and I paid a price for it. That's all trying to have a baby is. A game of luck. You have to put yourself out there, set yourself up for failure. Every month is a chance. It could go your way, but you never know. You plan. Then you wait. You wait for an answer. Some lines. Or a monthly visitor to tell you what the next nine months of your life is going to be like.

Waiting is killer. Every minute can take forever. It's ironic that we spend so much of our lives trying to prevent pregnancy, then when we try to achieve it it seems impossible.

I'm still on the fence about a third baby. I don't know if I want to have to try again. Keep track of things. Try to plan. Set myself up for disappointment. I know it's worth it, but I'm undecided. That's why I've decided to wing it. Leave it up to fate. If it happens, hooray. If not, oh well, it wasn't meant to be.

Fate can be cruel, but so can contractions. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket. Literally.

I'm gonna leave it up to my uterus. It can decide. It might want to flip a coin, play paper-rock-scissors with my fallopian tubes, see what's in the stars, whatever. It's a big part of baby making, so whatever it decides is good.

But there's one condition. I'm giving it a time constraint. It has approximately one year-ish to make up it's mind. After that, I'm done. I will faithfully take my annoying birth control forever after that. Now I just have to wait and see what's in the cards for me. I tell myself it's okay either way, but a tiny part of me will be disappointed if I don't have one more baby. Part of me is gung-ho, team baby. The part that didn't just yell at Alana for kicking a ball in the house. That part of me wants another little monster. The rest of me is good either way.

The team baby part wouldn't mind doing this again.