Necessity is the Mother of Invention

Clearly the world needed more shark oven mitts. There was a void in the market that is now filled. America should be grateful.

My Handsome Little Guy

I still can't believe I have this perfect little guy to call my own. And that I have 3 kids. Its crazy and I'm so happy and I don't even want to put him down because he is my last little one and I will never again have a baby this small. I'm holding him right now, even though I'm kind of hot and he farts. A lot. I still like him though.

A Quick Introduction

Witten David. 8 lbs 4 oz 19 1/4 inches long. Born at 3:25 pm on June 26th.

Final Thoughts

By the time most people read this I will probably have a baby. As I write this it is 5 pm on Monday and I'm scheduled to get induced tomorrow morning at 7:30. I just ate a chili dog for dinner, cause I'm lazy and it sounded good, and it resulted in instant heartburn. My kids are currently naked and waiting for the macaroni I'm cooking them for dinner to be done. I'm not winning any awards for nutrition today, those can wait till next week.

I know I won't sleep well tonight. At least my doctor said I'm allowed to eat breakfast, no starving myself before having this baby. I have mixed feelings about getting induced, cause its just 8 days before my due date so I'm not losing that much time that I thought I might have, but having an expiration date to my pregnancy is strange. I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing about it, but I cannot think about anything else, so I don't care.

I looked at all of my previous belly pictures and even though I took a lot, I still wish I'd taken more. I'm not going to look like this ever again, which makes me strangely sad. Oh no I will never have to wear pants with an elastic panel and weigh 30 extra pounds again. Whatever will I do? I know its a weird feeling, but I was sort of sad to not be pregnant after I had both of my girls, but this time its so much more final. I looked like this in January:

Then February: 

March:

April:

May:

Now June:

Now I'm almost 39 weeks, just one day shy of it tomorrow. I have an outie and a big round belly and exactly 30 pounds more than I weighed in November and the same amount of stretch marks I started with. I am grateful to not have any extra pounds or swollen anything, just hips that are kind of tired of sleeping with extra weight on them, they complain a lot at night. On Friday I was dilated to almost 4, so its kind of amazing that I'm still walking around pregnant anyway.



I guess I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be. I did get to go see Brave too, so I'm glad that Pixar and my doctor were in agreement over my induction date. Could've lived without the other trip to the movies to see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter though.

Shout Out

I'm almost done being pregnant. Dangerously close to the end. My last baby, my last pregnancy. Finished. I couldn't have done it without help. You know those things you are grateful for but are glad that you will be done with? Those are the things that I'm thankful for today. Those things are:

• Tums: heartburn=unpleasantness. I never experienced it before pregnancy and/or after my other pregnancies. I'm glad that I managed to buy only 2 bottles of smooth dissolve fruity chalky Tums for the duration of this pregnancy. But I'm even happier that I will not be using the rest after I'm not pregnant, cause I hate Tums as much as I hate heartburn.
• Ben & Jerry's: this was my one persistent craving. I lost track of how many pints of chocolate fudge brownie I consumed in the last month or so. And I don't care that each one is over 1,000 calories. I'm growing a person, now isn't the time to starve myself.
• Maternity pants: When I was pregnant with Alana I was extremely opposed to full panel maternity pants. I thought they were frumpy and horrible. Instead I opted for low rise maternity pants or these really uncomfortable ones that were adjustable and had buttons in the side that cut into my hips. I've since seen the error of my ways. Low rise pants fall down. Especially when you sit down and your belly has dropped. That super stretchy elastic panel in pants is your friend. Not all of them are designed for comfort, but the right ones will keep you happy and keep your pants up till you have a baby. And help you not feel giant by allowing you to still wear them instead of trying to squeeze into your pre-baby pants. Don't even attempt to try them on for at least 3-4 weeks. Its not good, its just depressing.
• Dairy Queen: for as much as I love Ben & Jerry's, which is a lot, I love Dairy Queen 1,000,000 times more. I just flat out love soft serve ice cream. And while with regular ice cream I like rich and chocolately flavors, when it comes to soft serve I opt for lighter and fruiter options. Like a good old Hawaiian blizzard, which has always been my favorite. Or a chocolate-vanilla swirl cone. Or a Arctic Rush float. I stopped by the same DQ almost every time I went to the doctor. Partly cause it was hot outside and I was hungry, partly because the DQ where I live lost its franchise and became generic and disgusting Benson Ice Cream Shoppe. Gross. Maybe someone will bring me a blizzard when I'm in the hospital. Hawaiian, no coconut. They would then become my favorite visitor.

While I won't miss heartburn, there are things about pregnancy that I will miss. Things I want to remember. Baby kicks, a handy belly shelf for holding bowls of food, anticipation, a hard belly that is supposed to stick out, thick hair and clear skin, the ease of pregnancy compared to taking care of a newborn, the excitement that my girls have about getting a new brother. Then there are things that I won't miss. My limited maternity wardrobe, inability to bend over, inability to sleep on my stomach, driving to Tucson incessantly to go to the doctor, dumb questions from people about my weight and/or comments that are not compliments.

Knowing when your baby is going to arrive is strange. You wait your whole pregnancy with this vague idea of when and you set your sights on the date, that goal, and then in reality that day is just a date that you probably won't have your baby on. Knowing your delivery date and your baby's birthday are way different than your due date. My due date is 4th of July, but by then I'll have a baby boy to hold. And I'll probably still want to go and get Dairy Queen.

Everything is Better with M&Ms on it

I shared this picture on Facebook so now I must share the recipe. It would be rude of me not to, because these are so good. Its one part saltiness, one part marshmallow, and of course what dessert is not improved by adding mini M&Ms. If I could I'd share the actual cookies with people because at this point I've eaten way too many. I'm not especially concerned with the weight gain because I'm having a baby next week so what damage could I do at this point. So make these. You won't even dirty a bowl. And they're worth it.

M&M S'mores Bars

12 graham crackers

3/4 cup butter (real butter, don't use margarine, yuck)

3/4 cup brown sugar

4 (ish) cups of mini marshmallows

1 1/2 cups (approximately) of M&Ms or mini M&Ms

Preheat oven to 350. Line 15x10 pan with foil and spray with nonstick spray. Line your graham crackers up on your cookie sheet with the sides touching. Melt the butter and brown sugar till smooth and just boiling, stirring constantly. Pour over the crackers and spread out evenly. Bake for 5-6 minutes. Remove pan from oven and sprinkle with marshmallows. I usually don't measure them, I just sprinkle them where I need them in a single layer and try not to leave any gaps. I don't know if this is more or less than the 4 cups in the recipe, but its not the whole bag. Bake for 2-3 more minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle with the M&Ms. Again I don't measure, because you can put as many or as few on there as you want. And I like to use mini M&Ms because they cover a bigger surface area and you don't use as many. Plus I like the mini ones better. Let the bars cool and eat them.

Recipe originally from Betty Crocker



I Don't Need Another Milestone Right Now, I'm All Booked Up

In the next month I'm going to have another baby and send my first baby off to kindergarten. That a lot of change for me, I don't need any more than that. Thanks for offering, but I'm good. Still though, things happen. Like Alana has her first loose tooth and will soon look like a gap toothed little kid. And Ava has been de-mulleted, since I broke down and cut off her mullet. I couldn't look at the long strands hanging over the short ones anymore, so she had her first haircut. I'm still sad and she still claims to miss her hair.

But that is where I draw the line. I don't need anything else to happen anytime soon. I'm good.

Its a......Basketball

After much studying of the roundness of my giant belly, I've decided that I just may be pregnant with a basketball. Its the exact same size, its rock hard, and there are stripes similar to those on a basketball.

You Complete Me

If there is one thing I couldn't have lived without through this pregnancy, it is delicious, rich, chocolately ice cream. That and air conditioning. So a total of two things.

I am a loyal buyer of Ben & Jerry's. If its the ice cream I'm eating anyway. My kids can eat Breyers, but if its for my own personal consumption, I'm team Ben and Jerry.

We don't even eat that much ice cream at our house. A regular sized container will sit in the freezer forever. But with these little pints where I don't even have to dirty a bowl to eat them, they are the perfect size for my pregnancy cravings.

Chocolate fudge brownie is my current favorite. It fills my need for sweets for the day/week. It doesn't give my heartburn. And hello, its chocolate and has brownies in it.

I'm sure I will feel a little more guilty eating such calorie dense ice cream when I'm no longer pregnant. But right now I could not care less. When a pregnant woman has a craving there is no substitution. I'm not going to settle for frozen yogurt or something. Bleck.

The first time I sent David to get me some ice cream cause he's a nice husband and a wise man who listens when his pregnant wife is insistent about ice cream he only brought back a couple of small containers because Walmart was out of the normal sized ones. They did not last long, since they are like 2 bites but still 250 calories. So I had to go a day later and buy more, when the store had restocked. Since then I estimate that I've bought about 5ish pints of this same ice cream, and that isn't counting the times I would've bought it but they were out. I don't know if other pregnant women in this area have a similar craving, but back off people cause I bought the generic kind once and it was revolting. Even my kids didn't like it.

Congratulations if you've made it to the end of this post about ice cream. My love for it is never ending, but my love for its excessive calories may expire when I try to put on my regular pants in a month or so. All the Ben & Jerry's aside I still have only gained a small amount since I complained about my weight. And since I have to be accountable for my ice cream calories, I'm at 37 1/2 weeks and I've gained exactly 30 pounds. Now if you will excuse me I have to eat a small portion of my dinner before I eat ice cream out of the container after my kids have gone to bed.

The Clock is Ticking

36 weeks

37 1/2 weeks (Saturday people) this is after many brownies, fried chicken, and coconut cream pie - and if you look closely you can see the outline of my outie belly button in the left picture

If you're tired of looking at the basketball sized bump on my stomach rest assured, cause I have less than 3 weeks till my due date. I've been pre-warned by my OB that I'm not going far past 38 weeks, so on Wednesday when I hit 37 I knew my days were ultimately numbered. I don't know yet what that number is though, so everyone can stop asking me. Not that I would tell everyone anyway, but if I don't know I can't really tell you now can I.

Everyone asks me incessantly if I'm done with being pregnant. Define done. Is my body probably ready to be done being pregnant? Sure. But am I? No. My girls are potty trained and sleep through the night. I'm not in any hurry to end the easy routine I have going on. I'm not swollen or over tired or constantly plagued with heartburn or anything. I'm tired, but that will not end with the end of pregnancy. I'm fine with going as long as I have to, no complaining necessary.

I'm ready to hold a baby, but not so eager to change diapers. I'm ready to sleep on my stomach again, but know I won't get to do that much sleeping. I'm tired of driving to Tucson to go to the doctor every week and get weighed, but not enthusiastic about the actual labor and delivery part that will ultimately come after the doctor check-ups. I'm ready to be able to eat more than a small portion of food at one time then be hungry one hour later, but not ready for the incessant hunger that comes right after you have a baby and all you have to eat is hospital food especially if you get induced and aren't allowed to eat before. That's just mean.

I'm ready, my bag is packed minus my makeup and blowdryer and yes I'm taking those to the hospital cause I'm just vain enough to not want to look terrible in every single picture. My days are numbered and I still can't decide whether I want them to go faster or slower, but either way they are going and I have no control over it.

Rookie Mistake

It was naive and stupid of me to think for even a second that I could eat a snickers bar in the same room as my kids and have them not notice. I guess that's a good way to cut back on calories. Eat in front of your kids because them you will be forced to eat in front of them. Or I could've gotten a king sized candy bar. That would work too.

Farewell Sleep

Under normal circumstances in my house I sleep till 8 am. Every single day. We all do. I can't lie and say I like to get up early, because I don't. I'm not completely opposed to it, but given the choice I pick sleeping in. I'd sleep later if I could. Both of my kids are late sleepers too, but they got that way gradually around age 2.

As of today I am 37 weeks pregnant. The arrival of a little alarm clock is imminent. Not only that but 6 weeks from tomorrow Alana goes to kindergarten. My days of sleeping till at least 8 am are numbered. That number gets smaller by the day.

I will miss it, this whole sleeping in thing. It will never be the same. Even on weekends I will have a baby waking me up. Ava is the only one who will probably still sleep as long as she wants to. Alana will get up for school and I will get up with her.

Getting up early isn't exactly the biggest change our family has in store for us right now, since kindergarten and a baby are kind of a big deal. But its how those things are going to impact us. Days like today, where even though we went to the grocery store so we weren't total couch potatoes, are probably going to be fewer. Right now Ava is naked, the couch cushions are all on the floor cause that is totally awesome and fun and annoys Mommy which gives it bonus awesome points, and the girls are watching a Nickelodeon Christmas DVD. Not a lot of structure. We have a routine, but it revolves more around eating at general times and eventually sometimes putting clothes on. Alana gets dressed everyday, but Ava prefers nudity and I prefer pajama pants. Right now hair brushing isn't a priority and makeup is unnecessary.

Everyone is getting ready to start their life outside the womb or in the classroom. Ava is just along for the ride, waiting to hold her brother and gain total television domination while Alana is in school. Ava is probably in for the biggest change since she is losing her fulltime playmate and gaining someone she can boss around who probably won't listen to her.

I can't say I won't miss sleeping in, cause that would be a lie. If you ask any parent what they wish they had more of its probably sleep. And money. We could all probably use some more of both of those. I'd sacrifice the sleep for the money probably. Ask me again in 2 months when I'm getting up before 7 am to change diapers and brush Alana's hair and send my first born precious lady off into the world everyday and then cry because I miss her. And I'm sleep deprived. My answer might have changed.

Act Natural

When my kids were smaller and my camera had a crazy slow shutter speed I used to miss photo ops all the time. They would blink or look away or stop smiling. Something would sabotage my picture. But now they are old enough to cooperate and want me to take their picture. They go as far as to "pose" for the camera, which results in pictures that are far from candid. Examples:

Be prepared

I'm at the point in my pregnancy where I could in theory have a baby on any day. Especially with my imagination creating these scenarios where I go to the doctor and there is some crazy circumstance right then and they decide to induce me that day. In these scenarios I have no bag packed, both of my kids are with me abs David is at work.

Another scary circumstance I'd like to avoid: I don't have my camera with me. Scary right?

I realize that the likelihood of this actually happening is pretty small. But my subconscious doesn't accept this so I always have these crazy dreams involving weird labor situations. It didn't help that last week I had lunch with a friend who got induced after her 38 week appointment. She had no bag packed and had to call her husband to pack it for her and then drive up to the hospital. Having David pack my bag for me is not my ideal situation, but all I really care about is my camera.

Living almost an hour from the hospital is what complicates things. He can't just run over to labor and delivery real quick. He'd pretty much have to hitchhike since we only have one car and I would have it.

So to lessen the possibility of forgetting things at home or having my husband pack my things I think I'll take the extra step and keep a bag in my trunk whenever I go to the doctor. That way the only thing I'm not bringing with me is David. He can worry about packing himself, I'll bring the camera.

It's Raining Ants

Every time I went to my kitchen sink in the past day there were ants in it. They seemed to be appearing from nowhere. I stared at the sink and couldn't figure out where they were coming from. I would wipe it clean and come back and there would be 5 ants crawling around looking for stuff. I sprayed vinegar and every other remedy known to man, yet there were ants.

So I set up a sting operation. I thought maybe the ants were coming through the drain, so I plugged up the sink and filled it with water. But then I walked away for a second and came back and there were five ants in it. Unless they had scuba gear they couldn't have swam there. So Alana and I sat and literally stared at the sink full of water, and ants were just appearing in it as if from nowhere. Then I looked up. There is a hole where a cord is run through the cupboards above to hang a light above the sink. Ants were jumping through it kamikaze style. Look out below, I'm in search of stray crumbs!

Although I'm 36 weeks pregnant I can't just let ants crawl around my kitchen like they own the place. So I climbed onto a chair, then onto the counter to inspect the tops of the cupboards. This is where a literal ant fiesta was going on. There was a conga line of them parading in through a hole in the wall where the genius who installed the light above the sink ran the wiring. It was plugged with steel wool because mice hate steel wool, but ants apparently are indifferent about it. So then I had to lug all my sprays and vinegar and cinnamon and every other thing the internet told me to use to the top of the cabinets to kill the ant party.

Hopefully now the ants will stop parachuting into my sink and stay out of my upper cabinets, because cleaning every piece of tupperware I own at 8 am on a Saturday isn't my idea of a good time. And ants are a real pain in the butt.

Age Appropriate

It's ridiculous how much I'm looking forward to the next season of Awkward. I'm 30 years old yet my favorite show is about high schoolers and I'm totally Team Matty.

I rarely even watch TV and I'm counting the 3 weeks till it comes back on. My excuse is I need something to watch late at night when I'm up with a new baby. Yeah. That sounds good. I just need quality programming for Kate nights with a baby. I'll keep telling myself that.

I Have Other Children

I'm sure incessant thoughts/talking/wondering about my pregnancy has left my other kids off of my blog in the extreme frequency that they sometimes occupy it. But in reality no one is more excited to have a new baby than my girls. They both are seriously obsessed with babies.

Alana was excited when Ava was born, but Ava's newness has worn off and she is ready for someone else to dote on. Ava is just excited that she gets to be the big sister and hold a baby. She talks to my belly in a voice so high pitched its possible that sometimes only dogs can hear her. The higher the pitch the more excited the 2 year old. Its just science.

But there are things about them that I want to remember. They are growing quickly, cause that is how it works. Blink your eyes and they're almost in kindergarten.

Speaking of kindergarten, Alana will be starting it in less than 2 months. School starts crazy early here. She will get a new brother, then like a month later will go to school. Summer 2012 is full of change for my big girl. There is so much about her at this age that I want to remember.

She wants to be everyone's friend, even if that someone is a kind of mean little girl at the city pool who told her there was no singing allowed and I then had the urge to slap. She has crazy wild dark hair that is now halfway down her back and combing it can be quite a task, she loves food themed earrings and sundresses and sandals, she will wear a dress everyday of the week when its warm, I have to make her wear shorts sometimes so everyone doesn't see her underwear. She is now tall enough to stand in the shallow end of the pool, which she is super excited about. She is really eager to learn and is obsessed with the activity section of coloring books. She asks me to read the instructions to her then she fills out the answers with only a little help, mostly in the form of me telling her what letter to write. She also claims to have Mighty Math Powers thanks to the Team Umizoomi app on my phone. Its a more productive use of her time than Plants vs Zombies.

She must be growing right now because she is hungry all. the. time. She has a weird cross of mine and David's eating habits. Like David her favorite dinner is biscuits and gravy and she doesn't have too big of a sweet tooth, but when she likes a sweet food she really likes it. She likes oatmeal cookies minus the chocolate chips which leaves me wondering if she was switched at birth, Hershey's Cookies & Cream bars, and Otter Pops. Most everything else she can live without, which is crazy to me. Like me she will eat any fruit or vegetable, and most of the time her snacks consist of fruit. She will go to the fridge and get out a bowl of grapes, which is definitely the opposite of Ava the carb-a-holic.

Alana really is the sweetest and friendliest girl. She says hi to everyone at the grocery store and tells anyone who will listen all about herself and the impending arrival of her new brother. She will sing with no inhibitions, even if she's not singing the right words. Example: Bruno Mars "The Lazy Song", Alana's lyrics: Turn the TV on, throw my ham in my pants; ACTUAL lyrics: Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants. Really its probably better that she gets that one confused, no questions about why he is putting his hand in his pants. I love my oldest lady and she gives me lots of hugs to show her love too. I'm gonna be sad when she abandons me to go to school.

This little trouble maker is also pretty sweet, but she can be a little moody. Don't look at me, she clearly got that from David. She loves playing with her big sister, but I know sometimes Alana is just humoring her and waiting for the chance to change the game to one of her preference. Ava is beyond excited to have a baby brother, but says she is gonna miss Alana when she's at school. I think she'll change her mind when she gets to be in charge of the television programming all day, instead of this overrated compromising thing. She sometimes shares things well, but other times she puts on her mad face and sharing clearly isn't being considered. But then she loses interest or forgets and thoughts of total toy domination vanish.

Its crazy how suddenly she started talking all kinds. One day there is nothing, the next there is complete sentences and expressions that she appears to be making up. She has been talking for awhile, but didn't start doing it around other people until recently. She will tell you all about the various Peter Pan themed movies/shows that she and Alana love to watch, all about how she is now Geo from Umizoomi, about her new baby brother, about her preference to not wear underwear or bottoms most of the time, about her love of cookies, pretty much about everything that she is interested in.

She is completely potty trained, she'll even get up in the middle of the night if she has to pee. The only catch is she doesn't like to use a full sized toilet if it doesn't have the little pad thing that keeps her butt from falling through. So she doesn't use other people's toilets. She will hold it for like 6 hours rather than sit on a big toilet. This has only led to 2 accidents in the past 6 months, so whatever. At some point she will have to suck it up and use a big toilet. That day just hasn't come yet.

Ava got my sweet tooth, but fruit isn't really considered in there with the cookies and pancakes. She is a lover of carbs, preferring macaroni to most other foods. I'm not a big fan of her eating gross macaroni all the time, I wish she'd eat some type of produce, but she is 2 and more stubborn than can be imagined.

All stubborn tendencies and bratty lady actions aside, she is one sweet and squishy lady. She got taller recently, so now she has switched over to size 3 clothes because the size 2 ones were too short. She is only 2 months away from being 3 so I guess that was inevitable. She is the opposite of Alana when it comes to clothes. She shares the love of food themed earrings, she's wearing some popsicles right now, but most days she is either naked or wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Her Rapunzel and My Little Pony shirts are both worn frequently, and she shows her fashionista side by matching her underwear to her shirt. Rapunzel shirts must be worn with Rapunzel underwear, that's a rule.

Ava has grown up so quickly lately that its surreal. It feels like she was just my little good natured baby that was just the length of one couch cushion, now she is a full-fledged little girl who has many many opinions and talks in complete sentences. She gives me and my belly lots of hugs and is sure to make sure everyone knows that she loves them, telling them many times a day. That did lose some of its value when she said it to a cashier at Walmart, but maybe she was just feeling really generous that day. She is such a big girl now and I only have 2 more years of her at home before she also abandons me to go to kindergarten. Traitors.

Both of my girls are so sweet but so silly, and they know when they can get away with being bratty. They are developing their postponing bedtime skills, usually with a hunger pain that strikes at 7:59 PM and involves the intense need for a bowl of cereal. This hunger pain only comes after I say its time for bed and have brushed their teeth. I have started offering food 30 minutes prior to this, so joke is on them. They also both love coloring, then also love not picking up the markers. That is just as fun as the coloring, till mommy gets mad cause she can't get off the floor after picking up markers. Both girls love to watch Jake & the Neverland Pirates, Peter Pan, and Return to Neverland. Captain Hook is always just around the corner at our house, you have to watch out! They both want to play on my phone all the time, stupid educational apps. I have to referee plenty of fights between them over dumb things, but 5 minutes later they are best friends again. And I also have to make sure to comb both of their wild dark hair before we go anywhere, or else they appear homeless no matter how clean and nicely dressed they are.

Life with 2 kids who are potty trained and sleep through the night is pretty laidback, so I'm not eager for that to change. My girls mean everything to me and I'm lucky to have them. They are crazy and wild and sweet and can get just as dirty as a boy, but at the end of the day they still want me to paint their nails and braid their hair. And play Barbies. It always comes back to Barbies.

Cruel Irony

The stark contrast between how nice it feels to go swimming when you're 35 weeks pregnant and how it feels to wear a bathing suit when you're 35 weeks pregnant is just mean. My kids have plenty of confidence in their bathing suits though, but who wouldn't with bodies like those.