The Power of Maybe

To Ava the word maybe opens a world of opportunity. A simple question, followed by her crazy answers, bring about a plethora of possibility.

Ava, where is your Winnie the Pooh guy? Maybe a zombie-witch taked it. Ah, me scared of zombie-witch! Or Maybe Daddy has it. Daddy likes Pooh. Or Maybe the bunny rab-dits taked it. Silly bunny rab-dits.

Even though she is clearly responsible for the absence of Winnie the Pooh and/or his entourage, she is still willing to consider the other options. Every little thing could maybe possibly be some far fetched tale that she is spinning. Or she just really doesn't remember where she put Winnie the Pooh.

At 2 there is nothing holding you back from being who you want to be. If you want to be yourself and wear a Rapunzel dress over your clothes paired with cow earrings, then it doesn't matter what other people think, that's what you're gonna do. You really just don't care what other people think, and why should you. Why should anyone? If you want french toast for breakfast and waffles for lunch to celebrate your eternal burning love of syrup, a simple calorie count will not stop you. If you want to pretend that a Doodle Bear is Lamby from the current greatest show of all time Doc McStuffins then that's fine. That bear IS Lamby, no question about it.

You cannot contain either her personality or her imagination, and I'm not ever going to try. Plus I don't think its possible.

Super Extra Glamorous

You may think that the glamorous side of motherhood starts when the baby is born and you have a little person who tries to pee on you and needs you to change their diapers and occasionally throws up on or near you. But you're wrong. It starts when you're 30 weeks pregnant and you cough/sneeze/breathe and come seriously dangerously close to peeing your pants. Like, really really really close. Scary close. That's when the real fun begins. And I still have 10 weeks of near-peeing my pants to go. I hope its just near-peeing and not actual peeing my pants. Fingers (and legs) crossed.

We MIGHT Have Something in Common. Maybe.

I just tried to watch 16 & Pregnant. I can't do it anymore. I had to change it. Those girls can be so annoying. I get that they're only teenagers and they're immature. That's not what annoys me. Well maybe partly. I get that they want their boyfriends to grow up and help so they can be a family, but I'm sorry honey, if he wasn't grown up before he probably won't grow up instantly when you have your baby. Boys just aren't wired the same way. I know its the nature of teenage girls to give boys a second chance, I know cause I've been that girl, minus the pregnancies, but after 10 second chances dump the guy.

The thing that has really started to annoy me about these girls is how naive they are. They think that having a baby is going to be a picnic and no matter how many people tell them otherwise they don't believe them. Then at the end of the show they're all crying and sleep deprived talking about how they wished they'd waited and it's just so hard to be a mom!

I know the first part of motherhood is overwhelming. Pregnancy is overwhelming. A crying baby is overwhelming. Everything can be overwhelming. And tiring. And stressful. And patience testing. And as much as people try to "warn" you about it, you won't believe anything they say until you're a mom. Cause no one tells you the majority of the stuff that will probably happen. Or definitely.

No one tells you about how pregnancy can make you do crazy stuff, or they do but you don't realize how crazy you are until you're post-craziness, reflecting on whatever it is you just did, like throw away a crockpot full of dinner cause your husband just ate some ice cream. That was rational, I don't care. You are never prepared for the squishy-ness of your previously hard belly right after you have a baby. One day its hard and there's someone in there you can't wait to meet, the next day its a blob that you don't know what to do with and no clothes, maternity or otherwise, can quite fit it. Makes you feel super attractive. In contrast is the rock hard cantaloupes that your boobs will become when your milk comes in. Ouch. Luckily this does improve with subsequent pregnancies, don't worry its not nearly as bad with your second kid. Everything adjusts much quicker. I'm hoping the third time is even better, fingers crossed.

Those things are even before you have to deal with the actual person you are now responsible for caring for 24/7. That person doesn't care if you're tired cause they're hungry so just suck it up mommy! The hospital just lets you come home with that person, no training necessary. Scary. Then you have to figure out what cry means what, when you're going to actually sleep and eat, and when you're going to find time to shower this week.

No one tells you that you will lose yourself in that little person. They become the center of the universe, the apple of your eye. You really cannot fathom how much you're going to love them until you hold them and look into their perfect little face for the first time, even if they're all slimy still. Then when/if your second one comes along, no one tells you its possible to duplicate that. You think, how is it even possible to love that much again? I cannot imagine it, it can't be true. But it is. And you will. And its totally worth the rock hard boobs and craziness and having the theme song to Doc McStuffins stuck in your head the entire week.

No matter how prepared you think you are, how many times you read What to Expect When You're Expecting, how much you nest and decorate your nursery, you will at one point find yourself a little bit like the annoying girls on 16 & Pregnant, completely unprepared, completely overwhelmed, but completely infatuated with this tiny little person, whether you had them on purpose or not.

Are You There Feet? It's Me, Jennifer

This belly and baby are growing and the bigger they get the less confident I become that I could pick my own feet out of a lineup.

I Just Remembered I Have 1,000 Easter Pics to Post

Yeah. Its been over a week and there are all these pictures and I have to do something with them. I don't know what it is about Easter that makes me take so many pictures. I take more than on Thanksgiving or most other holidays. Maybe its the activities. Coloring eggs. Photo op. Hunting for eggs. Photo op. Obligatory holiday family shot. Obvious photo op. Getting Easter baskets in the morning. Photo op where Ava's crying (you'll see).

Our day was pretty low key, nothing much happened. There was ham & watergate salad & and pre-Easter egg dying & egg hunting & Alana refusing to open her eyes all the way in outdoor pics cause the sun is blinding her people! & Ava crying Easter morning cause I wanted her to sit somewhere besides my lap to take a picture and that is clearly the meanest thing I could possibly do. I can't explain it as well as the pictures, so I'll leave them to tell the rest of the story. Good luck.

Egg coloring. Both girls thought it was tons of fun. It went kinda quick though since we had 18 eggs and 11 cups of dye. Long story.

Because of my mean mommy-ness Ava cried, but when she realized I was "forcing" her to sit next to a bucket of candy she quickly recovered. Alana knows the drill, she was happy, especially for the Rapunzel toy that she really wanted. She's easy to please.

Oh wait, there's tons of candy in here. And its for me! All from the Easter bunny!

One kid is happy, the other is sad. That's life, we keep it real. I'd be happy with one of these buckets of candy. Lucky for me they shared. They're nice like that.

Peeps on a stick. Alana is easily impressed.

We are in the shade, yet they all act like they are being forced to stare into the sun.

Alana left cause of the excessive sunlight, so Ava got in pictures with us. She's nice like that.

Nothing completes an Easter outfit like a robot necklace.

Alana was still acting like it was too bright. She needs to get out more.

Egg hunters. And Alana had to get glasses to shield her eyes, cause of the brightness.

She's happy to have a ring pop and to be in the shade.

She's also happy to have a ring pop.

The cutest egg hunters ever.

Its Only Gonna Get Bigger

Where in the rules of etiquette book is it written that just because someone is pregnant its okay to ask them how much they weigh? Seriously. It isn't an appropriate question. And its not even that I mind answering that most of the time, but I think its about the context under which it is asked.

If you just blurt out How much do you weigh fatty? (The fatty part is just implied. I can read between the lines people). I find that too direct. Same with So how much weight have you gained so far? The problem with this one isn't the wording, its the emphasis on particular words. So, HOW MUCH WEIGHT have you gained SO FAR? This not only implies I've gained a lot, that I'm a giant pregnant person, but it also implies I'm going to gain far more in the next 12 weeks.

Under the right circumstances I'm more than willing to discuss weight. If that is the topic of conversation, its fine. But if you outright ask me I'm gonna dodge the question. Its an awkward question. Why do people even want to know that?

I'm not the person who gains a lot of weight when I'm pregnant. I'm just lucky. I gained exactly 25 pounds with both girls, putting me at 150 on delivery day both times. That's fine with me. It also means sometimes other women give me dirty looks when I tell them this. Sorry. It wasn't anything I did or didn't do. Its really just luck. My belly is normal sized. There is no basis behind the question of Just exactly how fat are you lady.

Just to clarify though, once and for all, I started out 122 pounds. I am now 28 weeks pregnant and weigh 139. For all the math geniuses that is 17 pounds. I have 12 weeks left. I will probably gain 30 pounds total. I have come to terms with that. I prefer the lower end of the range, but 30 is okay. I will probably get induced before my due date anyway, so maybe that will shave a couple pounds off.

For the record, How much do you weigh? and How much weight have you gained so far? are NOT on the list of acceptable things to say/ask a pregnant woman. If you think they're a fatso, shutup. If you don't have something flattering to say about my weight, don't say anything at all. You may make comments about general belly size that are considered flattering such as You're all belly or You don't look pregnant from behind. These are reasonable, believable, and somewhat flattering. You may inquire about the baby's gender, my due date, etc, but only once per person. If you forget, don't ask me again. One last time for the Alzheimer's crowd: Its a boy, due July 4th. Thanks again.

Hoppy Easter

The Easter bunny was under strict instructions from Ava to NOT come into our house. Leave the baskets outside Easter bunny and go back to Easter island. Other than that we are having a good holiday weekend. Hope everyone else is too!

Third

I'm just over 27 weeks pregnant. That is pretty much the beginning of the third trimester. The third trimester for my third baby. Feels like I've been pregnant forever, but that is how every pregnancy feels. I also know from experience that while the first half seems to take forever, the second half kind of flies by in a whirlwind of your growing belly and before you know it Bam! you've got a new baby.

At this point there is nothing remarkable to document. I consider myself lucky because of this. I have my share of pregnancy symptoms, but they are the milder ones. Heartburn, sometimes. Stretch marks, but those are leftover from Alana. Weight gain, less than ten pounds. I really don't know the exact number cause I don't own a scale and I haven't been to the doctor for a few weeks. I don't get swollen ankles. I don't gain lots of weight. I never throw up and my nausea ends with the first trimester. No hemorrhoids, which I am by far the most thankful for. Its pretty uneventful and that's how I like it.

I am expanding around the middle, definitely looking pregnant. I only wear maternity bottoms, but no maternity tops. I wear tops, they are just my regular clothes. I'm not going topless or anything, although my pants come up to my armpits anyway. My belly button is never an outie, but more of a flat surface. Its strange. I can rest things on my belly when sitting, which is convenient. This little boy is moving around in there all the time. Kicking is better from inside the belly. Its not as cute when they kick you when they're two.

I'm not one of those women that gets impatient with pregnancy. Sure the end isn't really a picnic, but its worth it. I'm in no rush to get the baby out cause I know that will mean far less sleep and I love sleep. I also love that right now I have a few more diaper free months left where everyone can use the toilet. So much easier. And if you want a current belly picture, see my last post. I'm not uploading it again cause I'm tired and lazy.

Rounded Up

Alana went to kindergarten round up this morning. Now I'm sad. But she is happy cause she wants to make lots of friends and take grapes in her lunch and she got a free backpack.

My almost kindergartener. Sad for me.

Ava wanted to be included, to document her cuteness.

If you ask a five year old to take your picture don't expect them to crop out your car.

This is right before they got up to flee the oncoming zombies. They didn't want their brains eaten.

Definitely my kids

They may not look like me, but they definitely eat like me.

Once You Have One Balloon Animal

She was going for total balloon animal domination. I think she achieved it. Ava was happy with just one.