BREAKING NEWS! ATTENTION EVERYBODY!

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR COMPUTER MONITOR! You are seeing this image correctly. Ava has learned to walk. Sort of. She has a ten step maximum. But give her a break people, she still has two weeks till she turns one. She took her first official steps last night when she walked five steps from her toy to the couch, then back again. But it was hard to obtain proof. Everytime we turned the video camera on to document her walking she would stop and go back to crawling. Maybe she's a shy walker, I don't know. Congratulations are in order for sure! Of course this milestone makes me a little bittersweet because its just one more first she checked off her to-do list. She's one step (or five) closer to being a toddler who wreaks havoc on people instead of a sweet innocent baby.

Thanks for being there Bolt

Dearest Bolt,

You have been there for me for as long as I can remember. I take you with me almost everywhere. You've been to Disneyland a couple of times. And to Wal-Mart. If you're not there then Dug definitely has to fill in. Gotta have a guard dog around at all times.

Then for a while you slept with me every night. My mommy had to search high and low for you at bedtime because I would put you to sleep in the craziest places. Member that time westerday when I put you in the oven of my princess kitchen? It took my mommy forever to find you that time. Good times.

Member that time westerday when I left you in the shopping cart at Wal-Mart and we almost didn't find you? That was a close call! Its a good thing my mommy went back for you or I would've been so sad!

You are irreplaceable. One of a kind. A super dog indeed. You and Dug make an unstoppable team. Two super dogs. Thanks for having my back. I'd be lost without you.

Yours Truly,

Alana

P.S. I know you're kind of getting a little dirty and worn out, but I promise I won't let my mommy wash you. Baths are for quitters!

P.P.S.  And I promise to keep you far away from styrofoam, I know if affects your super powers!

Cheater Cheater Cookie Eater

I am not on a diet. Diets don't work. I will never diet. That being said, I am trying to eat healthier. You know, less than 4 cookies a day. At this point in my life I would consider that a success.

I have eaten at least one cookie a day since Friday. On Friday I made chocolate chip cookies. In an effort to not eat them all in one sitting, I only baked nine. Out of those nine I probably ate five. Then Saturday I baked another nine. I ate approx. six. Sunday: Last of the cookie dough. Nine cookies baked. Six cookies consumed. By me.

In the first batch of cookies I didn't use the whole bag of chocolate chips because I added toffee. So Monday morning rolls around and I start getting the itch to bake some cookies. My only problem was that I only had one stick of butter, which is half of what the recipe called for. So I halved the recipe but changed it up just a little by making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies instead.

David claimed to be tired of cookies. Is that even possible? So naturally the only solution was for me to eat four out of the six baked cookies, and one spoonful of dough. No sense in wasting good cookies just cause my husband doesn't appreciate them. Repeat that once again after dinner. I never get tired of cookies.

Yesterday I baked the remaining cookie dough right before my nephews were coming over, that way I had a reason not to eat all of them myself. In the interest of sharing I saved cookies for everyone else. That left me with only two cookies for yesterday. :(

In spite of my all cookie, all the time diet I've actually lost ten pounds with regular exercise. If I don't exercise everyday then I feel massive amounts of guilt for my cookie consumption. But I've managed to exercise consistently for the entire month of July. That's a new record for me.

I ran a mile both Saturday and Sunday (may not sound like much, but I've got to start somewhere!). Then on Monday I set off on my run with the best of intentions. It was oatmeal cookie day so I had some compensating to do.

I was in the home stretch, which just happens to be in front of Walmart. My stepsister pulled up next to me, looking at me like I was crazy. To be fair, she's probably never even seen me attempt exercise in the last 15 years. I told her I had an invite to Ava's birthday for her. She should come to my house to get it. But I'm not at my house. I'm in front of Walmart. So drive me home in the meantime.

How lazy am I that I hitched a ride home for a quarter of a mile? I should've had her drop me off out of sight of my front door so I could've just acted like I had run the whole time.

When I came in the front door with a stupid looking smile on my face David was already suspicious. I confessed that I'm an exercise cheater. I'm willing to eat the cookies but when it comes time to burn them off I'm not nearly as devoted.

I can't help it. I feel no loyalty to exercise. What has it ever done for me? But cookies on the other hand, they have a special place in my heart. They've been there through thick and thin. Through the ups and downs. They have never let me down. I can always count on cookies, as long as I don't have to count their calories.
 

That's YOUR Daughter

Its not always easy to see yourself in your children. When people say Oh, she looks just like you!, its easy to look around you and wonder what kid they're looking at.

People rarely tell me my kids look like me, because as far as family resemblance goes, they look like their daddy.

Exhibit A

If I ever have to wonder which one of us has the dominant genes, all I have to do is take a step back and look.

But there are moments in my life when I am struck with a realization: She is so my kid.

David and I both have these moments. Whenever one of our ladies is doing something that is more specific to one of us, that is our fallback. That's YOUR daughter.

When my ladies sit on the floor and devour a pound of ramen noodles. When Alana insists on watching zombie movies late at night. When Ava chugs her drink like its going out of style. When I look at their crazy dark curls, taken hostage by the humidity and running wild, and their long dark eyelashes. When they eat SPAM (gag me) that David fried, or anything covered in BBQ sauce, or ranch, or ketchup. When Alana used to throw her arms up in celebration and yell Touchdown, Go Cowboys! When Alana picks out her Cowboys jersey to wear and its not even football season. That's when they are definitely David's daughters.

When they eat all the cabbage out of their dinner and Alana declares That green stuff is good! When Alana will sit for an hour with a coloring book and box of crayons. When Ava gives lots of lovey hugs to me and insists on sleeping right next to me. When Alana insists on helping cook dinner, even though she is more hinder than help. When they both eat the bread out of their meal first (that's the best part). When Alana wears a pink tutu with her everyday clothes and plaid ballet flats with a striped shirt. When I look at Ava's long toes and long feet, which were declared BIG at birth, by all hospital personnel in the room. She has such long eyelashes, and BIG feet! When Alana insists on having her toenails painted at all times, but doesn't want anyone combing her hair. That's when they are definitely my daughters.

Rules I never thought I'd have to make before I had kids

Please don't put your toes and/or feet up your sister's nose.

No coloring while sitting on the potty.

Don't spit chewed up blackberries into the pool.

You have to wear underwear at the dinner table.

Don't leave your fake fingernails on the floor because your sister will eat them.

Don't say come in to whoever is at the door if Mommy is naked.

Don't wipe your donut frosting on my shirt at Wal-Mart.

Ava is not a horse. Please don't try to ride her.

Don't wipe boogers on your dress.

Don't point out people's weight problems out loud at Wal-Mart. (As in: Mommy, that lady is fat!)

I'm sure this list could be much longer. But Alana was mostly well behaved this weekend so she didn't give me much material to work with.

Rekindled Love

I'm having a summer fling with my grill. I'm head over heels in love with it this year.

I seriously cook dinner on it every night. It leaves me wondering how I prepare all our meals in the winter. How do I cook all those things without going outside? Thats probably why I make so much soup, its easy!

In reality the weather is usually mild enough year round in Arizona that I could cook every dinner on my grill. But I've got a couple of ladies who insist on following me outside everytime I go out there. So if its cold then I have to go to the trouble of putting jackets on my kids. And I'm still on Gila Monster watch so taking my kids out onto the carport makes me slightly paranoid.

So I must seize the day and grill at every possible chance I have till the end of summer, or till I run out of propane, whichever comes first.

Last night I grilled some lemon chicken and zucchini. My kids helped. Mostly Ava, by allowing me to put her down on the ground long enough to acccomplish something. And she probably ate a couple of rocks as an appetizer. There are lots of times when I'm out there at the grill with a baby on my hip. I'm a one-handed chef.

My lovely (and a little dirty) grill. And my cooperating lady, letting me put her down for a minute.

My delicious dinner. (I didn't eat all of it myself, I had help!)

Best part about cooking with a grill: No dishes to wash afterwards!

Our Week (So Far) in Pictures

Ava is always a fan of spaghetti night, followed by a cookie to give her a little mustache.

We built an awesome fort. I drew upon my years of experience at fort making. Alana thought it was cool, Ava thought it was weird.

Alana and Ava inside our top secret super cool fort/hideout.                                              

Alana is my little sous chef. No matter what I'm cooking she is there to assist. She's an excellent meatball roller. Sometimes she's more hinder than help, but someday she will be a good cook all on her own. Then she can make me some food for once.

Ava and Alana played some dress-up with their daddy and did some major accessorizing.

Playing with your cousins can be exhausting. Sometimes when you come home from their house all you want to do is just lay down and take a nap, even if that nap is on the kitchen floor.

Fudgesicles are not my friend. They should be considered hostile and removed from the property immediately. If encountered, your child will look like this and their clothes will be stained beyond repair.

Its still spaghetti night, and Ava's showing some proof that she got two top teeth. Impressive.

My two couch potatoes. Ava was laying there by herself, till I got out the camera. Heaven forbid anyone take a picture without Alana in it. Or Dug.

The Last Birthday Card I'll Ever Get

This past week my Little Grandma passed away. 

Even though she's gone I still continue to receive correspondence from her.

She had just turned 80 in February. You're only as young as you feel inside though. When she turned 80 my family had a big birthday party for her, just like they did when she turned 70 and 75.

I didn't get to go. I had planned on it, but it was the night before we were going to Disneyland and Alana threw up. Once your kid pukes, you usually cancel all plans immediately following, so as not to be vomited on in public.

I had guilt at the time for not going to her party. If the roles were reversed she would've come to any party for me. But with time that guilt faded. A little. Till yesterday.

While going through my grandma's stuff my mom found a card that she had for me. My birthday is only a few days after her's, so she had gotten me a birthday card. She couldn't drive herself around anymore and she had an oxygen tank that went with her everywhere, yet she had taken the time to pick out a card for me and take it with her to her birthday party because she thought she would see me there. Then I didn't show up.

Now I have this card that she picked out for me and bought and signed, and she didn't even get to give it to me in person. The card is pink and talks about how granddaughters are a blessing and she signed it Love, Little Grandma. In her time tested cursive handwriting. That is the last card I will ever get from her. No more birthdays, no more Christmas cards. Nothing. And she didn't even get to give it to me.

Now I am in the running for worst granddaughter ever. Its a close race, but I think I'm at the top of the lineup. Because I didn't go to my grandma's birthday party, to get a card that she picked out for me especially because she remembered my birthday.

I'll take my award now please. Unless I have to show up for some ceremony or something. Cause I probably won't be able to make it. Sorry Little Grandma.

Desert Living

Sometimes when you live in Arizona you encounter different types of wildlife.

Every single day of my life I see quail, rabbits, prairie dogs and tons of little lizards. I've even been known to encounter javelina, coyotes and even an occasional bobcat. If we're lucky we'll see a giant tarantula or two before the summer is over. It happens. Especially when your backyard is a wash.

Quail and rabbits are cute, even entertaining to watch. Lizards don't faze me, as long as they're little and leave me alone. Prairie dogs are kind of cute, as long as you don't mind the holes they dig everywhere.

Javelinas are annoying, they get into your trash or freak you out a little bit when they cross the road in front of you while you're walking to the bus stop. Coyotes stay mostly unseen and don't really bother adults cause they're not interested in anything we have. And bobcats are something I've only seen a couple of times from far away. Tarantulas are hairy and freaky looking, but harmless.

But the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in my life in the desert was this:

A giant gila monster!

Yesterday afternoon we went to Taco Bell and when we came back we were leisurely going in the front door, taking our time. We have a carport right by our front door so we only walk a few feet to get in our house. I got in first carrying Ava and our food bag, then turned around to see Alana and David coming in.

On the ground about 5 feet away from our carport I spotted a giant orange and black lizard running towards us at full speed (not really that fast in the overall scheme of things, but pretty fast for a freaking lizard!).

(Everything at this point was in slo-mo for a little while).

I yelled OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! GET IN THE HOUSE! Alana and David's reaction to my panic was to move even slower and turn around to see what I was yelling about. In the moment I couldn't think of what the huge lizard running at me was called, so I just said Look! Get in the house already! I swear when I tell Alana to move faster or get out of the way she does the opposite. Curiousity gets the best of her.

Once the door was shut I said What the heck was that thing? David drew on his database of desert animals and correctly identified it as a gila monster.

At this point it was on our carport, right in front of our front door. Maybe it was hungry for Taco Bell?

David decided he couldn't just let it stay there to go away by itself. I called animal control and they said they were off duty, they couldn't be of any assistance with the poisonous lizard waiting outside our door. So David went outside with the broom (gila monster defense weapon of choice) and tried to "shoo" it away. All he did was make it mad. It was backed into a corner hissing at David, so David threw rocks at it. That's what real men do when faced with dangerous reptiles, throw rocks at them. Then the final weapon in David's arsenal was the rake. We lost a lot of good rakes that day.

 

During the great gila monster battle of 2010, Alana was very concerned with the safety of her daddy. She kept yelling out the side door Daddy? You okay? Me don't want you to get bit!

After a 20 minute battle with the gila monster, David managed to drag it into the wash with the rake. Its scaly orange and black head was stuck between the rake blades, but it was still alive. The rake and the gila monster ended up staying in the wash.

Its actually illegal to kill them, even though they're poisonous. So as far as you and I and the law are concerned, that lizard is alive and well and living in Sante Fe, just trying to get its life back together after the rake incident. (It really was still alive when David last saw it, its kind of hard to kill an 18 inch lizard with a broom from 6 feet away).

Last night I didn't sleep that great because every time I closed my eyes I just kept picturing that ugly lizard sprinting toward my front door. I'm pretty sure that it will come back to seek revenge on the giant man with a rake. Any minute now there will be a knock on the door, and when I open the door there will be a box, and in that box will be the gila monster. Then it will jump out at me and say You killed my father, now prepare to die!

 Maybe it thinks revenge is a dish best served cold, and its waiting till we forget about it to strike. Maybe the gila monster is just as traumatized as we are. It had a craving for a bean burrito and this is what happened.

*****Post edit: My brother-in-law Jeremy was really curious to see if the gila monster was still hanging around. He said its like a once in a lifetime kind of thing. So he went down by the wash to see if he could find our rake, cause where there's a rake, there's a gila monster. And there it was. It kicked the bucket. Rake: 1  Gila Monster: 0

Not quite sure how it got into this bent position, but that's hot it died so that's how it stayed.

If anyone asks it died of natural causes.

And it looked way bigger running at me full speed. Still creepy though.

Jeremy wanted to make it look like it was biting him. Scary huh?

Pickle Me

Yesterday we checked off another movie in our summer of animation. Despicable Me, or "Pickle Me" as Alana calls it.

It was pretty good. Loved the minions! The little girls were pretty cute. And Steve Carell's vaguely European voiced character was grumpy but lovable. Like the Grinch. Or my grandpa.

I'd rank it below Toy Story 3 (nothing will measure up to this one for a long time!), but way better than Shrek 4. Maybe tied with How to Train Your Dragon.

Its not intentional that the only movies I ever see are cartoons. That's just the way it goes. Nothing but wholesome family entertainment for me these days.

I have seen a handful of movies this year that weren't cartoons, but David picked them. That's why I sat through From Paris, With Love and Hot Tub Time Machine. Neither will be nominated for any awards next year, except maybe a Razzie.

Next up on our movie to see list: Tangle (new Disney twist on Rapunzel) and Megamind. Alana is really hyped about Megamind. She tells people all the time Hey, guess what? Megamind! Like they have any idea what she's talking about. So then I have to translate. Are you hyped to see Megamind too?

I have magic armpits

Every night when Alana goes to sleep I lay down with her. She curls up next to me and lays in my armpit, with her arm draped across me. Something about my pomegranate scented armpits puts children right to sleep.

It is one of the most perfect moments of my day. It makes me forget her occasional brattiness and most of her stubborn ways. Makes me forget that I'm forced to watch Max & Ruby 14 times a day. Or get 27 bowls of Honey Kix in the orange bowl. I almost forget that today I picked up 42 markers off the floor. And 102 crayons (I knew that giant box at Christmas time was a bad idea). I almost forget that last night at dinner when I made spaghetti and meatballs she wanted to eat Chef Boyardee. I forget how bratty she can be, because at that exact moment all I can think about is how much I love her, brattiness and all.

Sometimes she's bratty.

But then she goes to sleep and all is forgiven.

 

Eleven months! How did that happen?

Today this little stinker is 11 months old! What the heck? How did the last (almost) year go by so fast?

Now my lady is trying to walk, feeding herself, playing all the time and constantly stealing my heart. She is working on getting her top two teeth, and she's about half finished. They are poking out for all the world to see, but you almost have to turn her upside down to sneak a peek.

She loves to give her mommy hugs and love. She really loves playing with Alana and all of Alana's toys.

Books that make noise are her new favorite thing. As soon as she is released onto the floor to roam about, she speed crawls over to the book cupboard and pulls out all of our noisiest books. Then she pushes the buttons on them and dances to the sounds like they're music.

She loves to dance to everything, and can shake her butt like no baby has ever shaken their butt before.

She crawls like crazy, with her head down to run straight into stuff.

Any minute my baby will be one. And a whole new chapter will begin. One where I have to face bigger carseats, walking, weaning, no more onesies, bigger louder toys and a constantly growing lady. Who wants to grow up even faster than she already is.

Sniff Sniff - The Story of My Unnatural Sentimental Attachment to a Carseat

The day we brought Ava home from the hospital. Look at her skinny legs!

Today I put Ava's infant seat and stroller on Craigslist and almost cried. It actually took me the whole day of debating before I finally caved and just listed it already.

That seat is what we brought her home from the hospital in. Its what she's been riding around in her whole life. And when she switches over to the bigger convertible carseat that Alana used, it will represent a whole new chapter in her life. The toddler years. No more little baby who wants to be held and hug her mommy all the time. An independent and headstrong toddler who walks around and rules with an iron fist.

I know I wasn't this sentimental about Alana's carseat. I hated that cheap piece of junk and switched her to a convertible seat at nine months, then sold the crappy carseat at a yard sale.

I spent a good chunk of change on Ava's travel system. I loved the pattern and was set against anything gender neutral the second time around. So we went with pink and purple. And never looked back.

Now Ava has outgrown it and lugging her into the store in that seat is a real backbreaker. I've kept her in it because she can fall asleep in the store if she's in her seat, but not in the seat of the cart. When she falls asleep in the car and I want to bring her in the house I don't have to worry about her waking up.

I can't rationalize keeping the seat until we have another baby. What if we have a boy next time around? David won't want his son riding around in a pink and purple carseat. Storing it for another two years would be a whole other headache. I could put it in our outside storage room, but I'd be worried that it would get messed up. So the next kid is gonna get another new carseat.

The first time I have to wake Ava up to take her out of the car when she's asleep I'm gonna punch David in the arm. Because this whole "sell the carseat and we can go to Michael's" thing was his idea.

At some point in my life motherhood changed me into a sap who gets choked up over carseats. I can hardly believe it myself. You should see me tear up over a bin of baby clothes. Its ridiculous.


***Post edit: I guess I passed weird unnatural attachment of stuff on to Alana. I also listed our midsize stroller on Craigslist and when she found out she said You can't sell that! Me went to Disneyland in it when me was a baby! Too bad for her it was such a good deal someone already bought it, and they drove to Benson to pick it up!

Pregnancy insanity

This time last year I was rocking this gut:

I was also sporting some majorly out of control hormones. Imagine your moody craziness when you were a teenager or when you have PMS, then multiply it by infinity. That's what pregnancy does to you. Makes you totally insane. Like, you can't even believe the crap you did afterwards.

Unfortunately for David, he suffers the brunt of my hormonal bloodshed. Its partly a proximity thing, like he's the closest one so he gets caught in no man's land most frequently. But mostly its a You did this to me so now you're gonna pay! thing.

When I was pregnant with Alana, my sister was also pregnant. My nephew was born 3 weeks after Alana. So I had someone who was equally hot and pregnant who understood. This took some of the pressure off of David having to listen to my pregnancy woes. (His worst story from my pregancy is a killer hangnail, but that's a story for another day).

That didn't completely stop me from being a crazy pregnant woman. I worked full time, plus cooked all our meals. So if I went to the trouble of cooking a meal, he had better eat it, and he had better like it.

It was probably September, but I was craving beef stew. So in the morning before work I assembled my ingredients in the crockpot so I could feast when I got home. David knew that I was cooking dinner. I always cooked dinner. But he brought home something from Dairy Queen.

First mistake: he didn't bring anything for me. Second mistake: ice cream will most definitely ruin his appetite for the meal that I had slaved (okay, spent like 20 minutes on) over. Blame it on my craziness, or my hunger, but I was so pissed off. Even though it was a Moo-Latte, which is technically a drink.

So I did the only rational thing I could think of, I threw away the crockpot, with my dinner still inside it. I wasn't so crazy as to just throw it all over the place and make a huge mess, just crazy enough to be mad over a stupid drink. Mad enough to throw away my crockpot containing my dinner.

The craziest part of me throwing it away was that I still wanted to eat the food inside of it. So I gently placed the entire crockpot, lid on, inside the trash can. This way, I could still go back and eat the stew after I'd made my point.

I ended up eating it much later, after David had apoligized for something that wasn't really his fault.

When I was pregnant with Ava I'd say my hormones weren't any better or worse than with Alana. They were about the same. I didn't have as many notorious pregnant craziness moments, but I did have one notable one.

After one of my dr visits in Tucson, we went to Eegee's. I kind of sometimes hate Eegee's, so going there is a compromise for me. Which meant I was already kind of grouchy. Plus it was July, I was pregnant and I was hot.

Alana and I sat down at the table. They only have booths at that location, whicn annoys me. Who wants to shove their pregnant belly between a booth back and a table?

I had a free cup of water, since I don't drink soda. Since it was free, it didn't come with a lid. Alana was thirsty, so she grabbed my drink. Then she spilled it all over, getting freezing cold ice water all over my lap and the front of my shirt. I looked like my water had broken.

David came to sit at the table with our tray of food. When he saw the giant puddle of water I was sitting in, it almost looked like he cracked a tiny little hint of a smile. It was probably my imagination, but I was still mad. When he sat down, with a pile of napkins to clean up Lake Eegee, I was fuming. So once again, I took the high road. I poured the rest of the water on my husband.

He was definitely mad. Who could blame him? I had just thrown ice water on him for no reason. Alana was the one who had spilled it in the first place, but I was punishing him. And its not like he could retaliate and throw water back at me. I was the pregnant one. What kind of jerk throws water on a pregnant lady?

So we ate the rest of our publicly humiliating meal mad, with wet clothes. I was too mad to eat, so I just sat there pissed off. Then we had to stop at McDonalds on the way home to get me some food, since I didn't eat my other meal.

I will never live down the infamous "crockpot" incident. But who knows how crazy I'll get next time?

Sports Illustrated: Wading Pool Edition

I finally brought my camera to the pool to capture our favorite summertime activity (besides napping).

I was hesitant to bring it because I didn't want it to get messed up or stolen, but I took a gamble and brought it anyway (in a Ziploc bag!).

Ava likes the water once she gets used to the temperature. She is hesitant but once she relaxes she just leans back against me and sunbathes.

Alana likes it no matter what. Hot or cold. Sunny or overcast. Even if there are bratty kids splashing us. She loves it.

I prefer to go in the big pool, since the wading pool water is sooo warm. But today we started out in the wading pool and worked our way over to the big pool. Alana even tried out some water wings for the first time. She wasn't exactly a natural at actually swimming, she kept going belly up. I guess she does have some fish-like qualities, too bad they're more like a dead fish.

My kids are able to get tan, even though I clearly am not. Alana has an x-shaped tan line on her back from her bathing suit. When she is naked you can clearly see what parts of her back and sides are covered and which are not. Meanwhile, I'm white all over, even though I spend the same amount of time in the sun.

So here are me and my ladies, in our sexiest swimsuits for the occasion!

Acquired Tastes

Last week it was my sister's birthday. She's old, but younger than me, so I guess that makes me old. Her requested cake of choice was ice cream cake. So that's what we had.

The ice cream cake I was commishioned to make was mint chocolate chip ice cream (I was told green mint, not white, picky picky), brownie and chocolate cake.

I personally think that mint chocolate chip ice cream is the best kind of ice cream EVER. Its cool, its refreshing, it has chocolate in it and afterwards you feel like you just brushed your teeth.

But some people don't like it. That's why we had two ice cream cakes. One with just chocolate and vanilla, for the lame-o's who don't have the same refined palette as myself. For people who have crappy taste in ice cream, not like me, who has impeccable taste.

There are just some things in life that not everyone appreciates or "likes". Like mint ice cream. Or iced coffee. With some vanilla syrup. Yum. Or cottage cheese mixed with yogurt. Or cream cheese and pickles spread on Ritz crackers.

Although there are plenty of things that lots of people like to eat that I refuse to, because of their disgusting-ness. Like beer, olives, pimientos, capers, menudo, pork rinds. Things of that nature. Because as far as I'm concerned, those things are inedible.

May as well be a chain letter

My latest award:

Due to my severe case of procrastination, this award was given to me by two people. Sorry it took so long to post, but I've had a baby crawling up my legs a lot lately.

I need to thank Ally at Veritable Ally and Sey at 14th Street for this award. Thanks!

Now for my blog philosophy: I just want to put all my memories on record, for everyone to see and share. So everyone can know a little something about me, and a little something about how I roll.

Now I'm supposed to pass this award on. In the last month I've practically given an award to everyone in the blog-universe. So this will be a condensed version of the giant list I should be compiling. Even though I got this award twice, I don't see anywhere in the rules that says I have to double the recipients.

So go check out:

LIfe Blessons

Adorkable Annie

And my second award I put off posting for forever:

Thanks so much to Kathryn at This is my Story.

I'm supposed to pass this on to ten people. Wish me luck. Since I got this award once before and only gave it out to five people, blog karma has come back to get me. But I'm gonna cheat again. Try again blog karma.

I pass this one on to:

Life of a sensitive bitch
Its just me, Heidi D


While I had this in draft, Tabitha at Taking apart the complexities that are me gave me two more awards. Thanks!

Here they are:

For the first thing I have to list seven things about myself. So....

1. I am currently obsessed with baking. Mostly bread, breadsticks, rolls, cinnamon rolls, etc. Tonight at dinner I made a loaf of French bread and some honey butter. I ate my weight in bread.

2. I could never go on the Atkins diet. See above.

3. I keep my scale next to the fridge. You'd think that would deter me from eating stuff, but it doesn't.

4. Due to the humidity, I am enforcing a strict Only One Box of Cereal Open at a Time rule.

5. I am on number five on this list, and so far every fact I've listed has been about food. I blame my really full stomach for distracting me. And the bread.

6. Since I decided not to list anything else about food on this list, I'm having trouble coming up with something else to say, so maybe I will mention food a couple more times.

7. I love my grill. Its my favorite way to cook stuff in the summertime. Best part: Fewer dishes to wash afterwards.

I pass this award on to:

The Young Retiree

Diary of a chocoholic

For this one I must list ten things about me. Wish me luck thinking of things I didn't already use on the list above.

1. I think my food obsession with these lists today is partly because my computer is directly next to my open pantry. I am staring at cans of chicken broth and Spaghettio's, Nutella and Bisquick.

2. I don't think black and brown match, so I do not wear them in the same outfit.

3. I have freakishly long toes. Luckily though, my second toe is not longer than my big toe. Its close, but the big toe just edges out the second toe.

4. I watch crappy TV shows from ABC Family on my OnDemand cable. I always hope they'll be good, but they end up sucking. Sorry Secret Life of the American Teenager, but you suck. Nothing ever happens, you just talk a lot. Then when something finally happens, you talk about it for the next four episodes.

5. I hate cheesy chick flicks. But I will read a sappy girl book, no questions asked. And I will cry if anything even remotely sad happens.

6. I used to have the top bunk when I was a kid. And I rolled off at least once a week, but I never got hurt. Maybe I have nine lives.

7. When I first learned to drive, I was the World's Worst Parker. I would circle the parking lot at my mom's apartment complex so that I could pull into her parking space straight on, instead of having to turn left into it.

8. I used to be a vegetarian, but then I got a job at Wendy's and caved and ate a hamburger. Willpower is not my strongest characteristic.

9. I used to read cheesy books as a kid too. Babysitter's Club. Sweet Valley High. Cheerleaders (less known than the other two, but still awesome). They were predictable and cheesy and I loved them.

10. I am very relieved to be at the end of this list. Now I have the giant task of passing all these awards on to other bloggers. Yikes! I may cheat and reduce my lists just a little bit.

I am passing this last one on to:

The Dernier Cri

Journalistic Musings

Finally! I'm done. I know I cheated and only gave each award to two people, but come on. Give me a break. I had to give out four awards! And blogger was totally being a pain in the butt. I redid the links on this post 3 times! It refused to save it and then published it without links, so I had to go back and redo it. Now I'm tired, and its only 9 am!

Freeze Tag

Tag. You're frozen. You must now stop where you're at. Don't move a muscle. Look around you. Wait for someone else to unfreeze you. While you're frozen, take a minute to appreciate your surroundings.

Look at your lovies. I'm looking at mine. I'm taking a mental picture. I'm wishing that right here, right now, I could stop everything to remember things exactly the way they are right now.

Ava is chub-tastic. She's learning to walk. She has dirty hands and dirty feet. She has two and a half teeth. Her little thighs have just the right amount of meat on them. Her hair is styled in a perpetual faux-hawk. She reaches for me and smiles when I bend to pick her up. She is so perfect.

Alana is my little know-it-all. She has wildly curly hair and chipped nail polish. She is always asking to wear my earrings. She gives kisses and hugs away like she has an endless supply. She is addicted to watermelon slushies. She enjoys helping me in the kitchen, its one of her favorite things. She is my sous chef. Pushing buttons on the blender is her specialty. She likes being with me. She always wants to play. With me. She is perfect too.

David is here, with me. He will always be with me. He claims he didn't marry me for my cooking. That's probably a lie.

Right now, today, I have everything I need, everything I want. I wish I could stay frozen. But its hot in Arizona.

Independence Day Eve

Life in a small town includes some compromises, like the city's refusal to celebrate a holiday on a Sunday. So Happy 3rd of July!

We started our Saturday with a parade. (Or Benson's idea of a parade). Lots of firetrucks and politicians. Throw in some weirdos and a guy dressed up like Jesus, carrying a cross, eating a lollipop, and you have a parade! What better way to celebrate a holiday than dressing up like Jesus and eating a dum-dum?

Weird things in our parade:

Rednecks doing tricks on quads, people dressed up like super heroes, weird Jesus guy and strange jester lady. These are the requirements for a small town parade.

Crazy Sherman cousins. Everyone was on a mission to gets lots of candy and Otter Pops. Then they got bored and wandered off. Or smelled their own armpits. Or picked their noses. Its a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Me and Ava, pre-parade. It was already hot and Ava wasn't a fan. And her main source of entertainment was repeatedly untieing the string on my shirt. I'd tie it, she'd untie it. Repeat.

My ladies. Ava doesn't love the feel of grass on her feet. Then we attempted a group shot. Five kids and a dog. Four out of five looked in my general direction when instructed to do so. Ava looked at the dog.

 I don't think Ava was a fan of the heat. She just wanted it to be over so she could go home. But she endured through a couple of Otter Pops and managed to make it out of there okay.

Alana doesn't care how hot it is, they are throwing candy so its her obligation to be there. She is happy with one piece. She will pick up one dum-dum or Otter Pop, and while she's eating it won't bother picking up anything else. And she likes to wave, so this parade is fun for her.

Our family shot. Last year at this time I had a big pregnant belly, this year I traded that for a little stinky baby. I still thought it was hot out though, just like last year. You shouldn't be forced to sit outside when you're pregnant! I let Ava chew on her toy cause if we took it away she'd cry, and I like to keep it real. Photograph babies doing what they do, instead of trying to make them smile and look happy to be at a parade at 9 am. That would be unrealistic.

I had the greatest catch of my life during the parade. I grabbed an Otter Pop from mid-air, with my left hand. David swears my eyes were closed. I think it was just luck. Or maternal instinct. When a kid needs an Otter Pop, I will provide it!

The rest of our day was spent at home. Video games were played, not enough naps were taken, annoying UFC was watched, longest game of Skip-Bo in history was played. I won. We ate some subs, potato salad with lots of bacon in it (my secret ingredient), ice cream related dessert, etc.

Then we sat in the front yard and watched the fireworks. I love that I can watch them from home so they're not as loud, and I can go inside at any time.

Ava was bored and unimpressed with them, so she went to sleep. Alana and her cousin had a five minute commentary during the first part of them about which firework was best. I like that one! Oooh! I like that one! No I like that one! I like that one! I like that one! That one is awesome! I like that one! I like that one! I like that one! I like that one!

After an agreement that each one was more awesome than the last, they went on the back porch and proceeded to make a giant mess with a gallon of bubbles. Someone in my house thought a gallon of bubbles sounded like a good idea. It wasn't me.

Then more UFC was watched, a couple of kids passed out, watermelon slushies were consumed, and the only one left standing were the three year olds, who were still playing in the bedroom when all other children had passed out or layed down to watch some cartoons.

Now today, the actual 4th of July, our only plans are: sit on the couch, eat some ribs and corn, watch TV, do as little as possible. And DO NOT go outside!

Happy 3rd (or 4th) of July!